3
by Random1377
Summary: 1, 5.  Complete.
1. 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion – Studio Gainax does.  If they have a problem with me writing this non-profit fan-fiction, I will gladly remove it from the web.

3

1

By Random1377

Rei Ayanami was being watched.  Not in the spy-thriller, duck behind a lamppost sense, but in the, 'There's someone staring at you openly' sense.  Though the train that would soon pass NERV central was full of after-school passengers and salarymen, she could easily see the person staring at her.

Mostly because she was sitting right across from her.

_What does she want?_ Rei wondered, trying to pretend that she could not see the small girl staring at her.  _I know that I look unusual, but it has been thirty minutes._

She brought her gaze up, deciding that intimidation might be effective.

She stared at the little girl.

The little girl stared back at her.

_This is futile,_ she thought, looking to the girl's mother and hoping to get her attention.  _Have you not taught her that staring is rude?_ She thought idly, feeling only mild irritation.

Rei was used to being stared at.  With her light blue hair, pale complexion, and blood-red eyes, the First Child drew many odd glances – though usually, the person would catch him or herself being inconsiderate and quickly look away.  The girl, however, showed no such inclination.  She simply continued staring at Rei, her brown eyes carefully taking in every detail.

_It is my stop soon,_ Rei thought, looking away once more, _so it is not important._

The next stop was called, and a large group of teenagers made their exit, clearing the space between them and giving the girl a better view.

Rei shifted in her seat.

_She looks… unwell,_ she decided thoughtfully, stealing a glance at the girl.  _And thin._

She guessed that the girl was around three or four years old, and weighed about thirty pounds.  She was wearing a faded, slightly tattered looking blue floral print sundress and worn black sandals, and held her hands together in her lap as if she was afraid her mother would admonish her for fidgeting. There was also, Rei noticed, a large streak of dirt across the girl's right cheek, and several scratches and scraps on her spindly little shins.

_What kind of pressure this woman must be under,_ Rei thought, looking again to the girl's mother, _to let her child continue to look like that and do nothing about it.  How unfortunate._

Rei tried not to be judgmental of others, she really did.  But sometimes, she simply could not help herself.  Looking at the little girl's mother a bit more closely, she decided that the woman not only looked uncaring of her daughter – she seemed unaware.  She simply stared straight ahead, occasionally, looking down towards the end of the car, then back, giggling coyly and covering her mouth.

Frowning slightly, Rei followed her gaze, feeling her disproval growing as she found a young man blowing the woman a kiss.  _How inappropriate,_ she thought, looking away as the man waved to the woman, who giggled again, _I do not know all the circumstances, but I'm sure the girl's father…_

Her thoughts trailed off as the little girl stood up and crossed the narrow space between them.

Unused to being the first to start a conversation, Rei simply looked down at her, frowning slightly.  The girl tilted her head to the left, then the right, studying Rei's face very closely.

Rei's attention was drawn away as the train came to a stop and the young man gestured to the woman, pointing to the seat at his side that had just been vacated.  The First blinked as the girl's mother nodded emphatically and stood to go over there.

"Miss?" Rei called softly, trying to get the woman's attention, but she simply hurried over to the man's side, dropping into the seat and immediately launching into an animated conversation, never once looking back to her daughter.

Rei was dumbfounded.  _How neglectful!_ She thought, amazed.  _She didn't even pause to say where she was…_

Again her thoughts trailed off as the young girl took a step closer, then smiled brightly, holding her arms up.

"What?" Rei asked uncertainly.  "What do you want?"

Her eyes widened in shock as, instead of replying, the girl slowly climbed into her lap, straddling her hips and wrapping her arms boldly around her neck.  A happy sigh came from the girl's throat as she laid her head on Rei's shoulder, hugging her tightly.  Things quickly went from bad to worse as her mother (with the young man in tow) stood and started towards the door, still talking animatedly.

"Miss?" Rei said quickly, trying to rise, but finding herself rather unable to.  "Miss… your daughter?"

The woman turned to her, blinking with confusion as the train came to a stop, then shrugging as she commented lightly, "I don't have any kids."

Rei gaped, realizing belatedly that the woman was probably seventeen, and looked nothing at all like the girl clinging to her.

Before she could say another word, the young man took the woman by the hand, pointing out that the doors would close any minute, and they'd miss their chance to have coffee.  The woman nodded, seeming to have already forgotten the conversation with the odd blue-haired girl as she followed the man off the train, leaving Rei with a lapful of child.

The doors slid quietly closed… and the train continued on its way.

**

"Your phone's ringing."

Misato Katsuragi nodded.  "Get it for me?" she asked, turning the wheel of her Alpine and leaning slightly into the turn she was taking.  "Kinda busy."

Shinji Ikari, her charge, nodded.  "Sure."

"It's in my inner pocket," Misato grinned suddenly, "try not to brush anything… sensitive."

Shinji blushed.  "Can you hand it to me?"

"Of I could hand it to you I could answer it," Misato said dryly, "just get it, Shinji."

Shinji sighed, reaching out as carefully as he could and slipping his hand into the front of his guardian's flight jacket.  He jumped as she shivered and let out a soft, whispery gasp, then laughed out loud as he jerked his hand back.

"S-sorry," she laughed, "ok, I won't do it again."

Shinji glared at her for a moment before quickly slipping his hand into her pocket and pulling out her phone.  "Umm, hello?" he said into the device, still eyeing the amused woman.

"Ikari?"

"Ayanami?" Shinji replied.

Obviously feeling that small talk was a waste of time, the girl said, "May I speak to Captain Katsuragi, please?"

"She's driving," Shinji muttered, "and not very well."

"Hey!"

"I see," Rei said quietly.  There was a long pause before she finally whispered.  "Would you ask her if she could retrieve me, please?"

"Retrieve you?" Shinji echoed.  "From where?"

"Takayama station."

"That's the end of the line!" Shinji exclaimed.  "Are you ok?"

"Yes."

Shinji turned to Misato.  "Ayanami's ummm… at the end of the train line," he said awkwardly.  "Can we pick her up?"

"That's so far out of the way!" Misato groaned.  "What's going on?  Can't she just get back on the train??"

"I have experienced an… unexpected situation," Rei explained mysteriously.  "I cannot reach my pocket."

"Huh??"

"Give me that!" Misato growled, taking one hand off the wheel… and several years off of Shinji's life as she swerved erratically.  "Rei?  What's going on?" she asked tiredly.  "Yes, I kinda figured that much… uh huh… uh _huh_…"  Her eyes widened as she applied the brakes – rather hard – and the car came to a screeching halt.  "A WHAT??  No, I heard you, but… uh huh… and you didn't try to stop her?  Well, no, I… ok, I see your point…"  Sighing, and ignoring the angry horns all around her, Misato rubbed her eyes.  "We'll be right there."

"What's going on?" Shinji asked nervously, "Is she hurt?"

"No," Misato muttered, accelerating suddenly and nearly causing three accidents, "but she _does_ need help."

Shinji's eyes widened as the woman explained just what the situation was.

"Oh."

"Yeah," Misato nodded, already trying to think of a solution for their new problem, "Oh."

**

"Well that's something I have to admit I didn't think I'd see in my lifetime."

Rei glanced up at the sound of her commanding officer's voice, giving her a bland stare over the child's shoulder.  She chose not to reply to the comment, looking instead to Ikari's face, feeling oddly curious to see what kind of reaction he would have.

It was definitely… interesting.

Shinji was staring at the child with a peculiar combination of fear and what appeared to be longing, and his hands were clenching and unclenching at his sides as he bit his bottom lip.  "Why…" he began, clearing his throat as his voice came out somewhat squeaky.  "Ayanami…?"

Rei, having no answer, looked back to the Captain.  "She will not let me go."

Misato looked almost as uncomfortable as Shinji, but she managed to smile, taking a seat next to Rei.  "Hey there," she said lightly, "what's your name?"

The girl turned in Rei's arms, moving her face to the other shoulder and smearing some dirt on the pilot's school jumper, adding to the small deposit already there.  Misato frowned and nodded to Shinji, who hesitated for a moment before sitting down on Rei's other side.

"Umm… hi," the boy said hesitantly, "I'm Shinji."

The girl turned away, hunching slightly and burrowing her face into the hollow at the base of Rei's throat.

"Does she talk at all?" Misato asked tiredly.  "Do you know her name?"

"No ma'am," Rei whispered, "I have not spoken to her since the train stopped."

Misato glanced at her watch, shrugging as her memory told her she had no pressing engagements.  "Ask her what her name is, Rei," she instructed, "since she seems… attached to you," her lips quirked up into a smile, "she might answer."

Rei pursed her lips, obviously not appreciating the woman's humor, and murmured, "What is your name?"

The girl burrowed her face in closer to the pale girl, muttering something into her skin.

"What was that?" Misato asked, leaning closer.

"It sounded like… Donna?" Shinji muttered.

"It was not a word," Rei corrected quietly.

The girl pulled back a bit to offer Rei a sunny smile before leaning her head on her shoulder, facing Shinji.

"I'll call the police, then," Misato said quietly, "they'll have to send someone to get her, because this is not our responsibility."

"M-Misato…?" Shinji stammered, "Couldn't we at least… drive her there?  I mean," he averted his eyes, "She likes Ayanami… couldn't we just drop her off, instead of having them come take her?"  His shoulders slumped slightly.  "Please?"

Misato frowned, her mind conveniently supplying her with images of a couple beat cops pulling the girl (struggling and crying, in her mind) from Rei and hauling her uncaringly off to be stuck in a room marked 'nursery' until her parents could be located – _if_ they could be located.

"I think," she said finally, "that's Rei's decision."

Rei blinked.

"I mean," Misato continued, "she's the one that would have to hold the girl – it's her choice.  Either way is ok with me."

The First Child glanced down at the girl.  

The girl glanced back up at her.

"I will need help carrying her."

"I'll pull the car around," Misato nodded, "as close to the landing as I can get.  Shinji, help Rei."

"Me??" Shinji gasped, "What can I do?"

Misato shrugged.  "Let her lean on you, hold one leg, I dunno – just help."

"Ummm, ok."

Shinji stood, walking around to the other side of the girl.

"Hold my hand," Rei instructed, putting one arm around the girl's back and extending her other.

Shinji nodded, taking the offered hand, then stumbling slightly as Rei attempted to leverage herself up.

"Tighter," Rei said quietly.

Tightening his grip, Shinji pulled, getting the girls upright.  "Put your hand under her!" he said quickly, "She's going to fall."

Rei frowned.  "That would be inappropri-"

"Ayanami!"

The blue-haired girl spread her feet a bit, planting them as she began to topple and putting her hands reluctantly under the younger girl's bottom.

"Put your hands on my shoulders," she said softly, trying to redistribute the child's weight, "and walk behind me."

Shinji did as he was told, putting his hands on the First Child's shoulders and bracing himself as she leaned back slightly, letting him support part of her weight.  "How much does she weigh?" he asked suddenly, thinking that Rei should be able to handle this on her own.

"I do not know," Rei said, starting to walk awkwardly to the car, "but she has been sitting on me for four hours."

"Four hours??" Shinji burst, "Why didn't you call sooner, Ayanami?"

Rei said nothing for a moment, holding the girl tighter as they reached the stairs.  "I did not wish to be an inconvenience."

"But… but…" the Third Child was at a total loss for words.

"Move around to the other side," Rei said quietly.

Still flustered, Shinji did as he was told, putting his hands on the young girl's back to steady her.  "You should have-"

He was interrupted as the girl suddenly cried out, tightening her grip on Rei's chest and arching away from Shinji's touch.  Thrown off balance, Rei fell, dropping onto the hard stairs with a pained grunt.

The girl began to cry.

Shinji's stomach twisted in knots at the soft, miserable sound. "What's wrong?" he asked quickly, dropping to one knee and reaching out to touch the girl's shoulder.

"Do not."

He froze at the calm authority in Rei's voice.

Slowly, the First leaned forward, craning her neck over the girl's shoulder and peering down the back of her shirt.  "Ikari…" she said quietly, her brow furrowing as she hooked a finger into the girl's shirt and pulled it carefully back.

Shinji drew a sharp hiss as his eyes fell on a series of angry red sores, covering the girl's back.  _Those spots on her dress,_ he thought faintly, _I thought… my God I think I'm going to be sick._

"Come on…"

He looked over his shoulder, finding Misato standing at the driver's side of her idling car.

"Get her inside... I'll call the police, and they can meet us at the doctor's office."

**

"So what you're saying is… you can't do anything for her."

Rei looked up as Misato pushed her way back into the doctor's office.

The doctor had been forced to cut the young girl's shirt open in the back to dress her sores, since she still would not let go of Rei and everyone was concerned that a sedative might have adverse affects on her frail body.

"Look," the police officer she had been talking to said reasonably, "I see probably seven cases like this a day – and we really do try to help these kids out… but it takes time, Captain, you can't expect miracles!  No dental records, no blood matches – we don't even know if her family is still alive, so we have no real choice."

"What's going on?" Shinji asked.

Shinji sat next to Rei for the entire drive, trying unsuccessfully to get the little girl to talk to him… or perhaps just trying to keep her calm, Rei was not quite sure which.

"They want to put her in foster care," Misato said tiredly, "a halfway house crammed with a bunch of others like her, or with some musty old couple that remember _First_ Impact."

Shinji averted his eyes.  "Oh."

"Oh!?" Misato exploded.  "That's all you're going to say??  Look at her!  She's all alone!"

Rei frowned slightly as Shinji flinched.  _Strange,_ she thought shrewdly, _the Captain seems more upset at her powerlessness than Ikari…_

Shinji was spared further embarrassment as the doctor came back in.  "Test results," she said brightly, "our little mystery girl here is, all things considered, healthy.  No traces of drugs, disease, or… ahem, inappropriate contact.  She's underweight and malnourished… but she should bounce back from that pretty quickly, I'd think."  She blinked as what she hoped was good news failed to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

"So what happens now…?" Shinji ventured after the doctor murmured 'I'll check back in a minute' and excused herself.

The officer considered the three for a moment, finally focusing on Misato.  "We could arrange temporary custody…" he said slowly, "if you're that concern-"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Misato cut in quickly, "Do I look like I know how to take care of kids??"

"Well yours look ok!" the man retorted, the stress of his day forcing his temper.  "Twins aren't easy – and they look pretty healthy to me!  I have to say I'm impressed – you must have had them pretty young."

Misato flushed.  "Look, pal," she growled, "I-"

"Please…?"

All eyes turned to Shinji, who had put his hand lightly on the girl's.

"I could take care of her," he said quietly, smiling at her as she turned her face into Rei's chest.  "I could-"

"You're a pilot," Misato cut in flatly, "and you have school."

"It would only be a few weeks," the officer pressed quickly, sensing an ally in the young man, "and the state would be willing to pay for daycare during normal work hours."  He leaned closer, lowering his voice.  "Come on… help me out here – I don't want to see her in one of those little kiddy camps any more than you do… come on."

Misato shook her head.  "I can't," she murmured softly, "I have too many responsibilities to worry about a child."

"Please Misato," Shinji whispered, his voice shaking slightly, "I'll do everything – you won't even know she's there, ok?  You said she was alone… please don't make her be alone anymore."

The woman's face contorted as if she had put something sour in her mouth – her own foot, perhaps – then her shoulders slumped and she let out a deep sigh.  "You win," she said slowly, "but Shinji… you will have to make sure that she's properly fed, clothed, and bathed – this isn't a puppy you found on the street – and you can't forget," she shook her head, making sure she had his full attention.  "You can't forget that she is _not_ living with us forever – this is just a temporary solution, do you understand?"

"I know," Shinji smiled, patting the girl's hand.

"Rei," Misato said quietly, "can you come home with us and hold her until she falls asleep?  Then I'll take you home, ok?"

"Yes ma'am."

The room fell silent as everyone considered the little girl.  After a minute, she turned to face Shinji again, keeping hold of Rei with one arm and slipping her thumb into her mouth.

**

"Just put her on my bed."

Rei nodded, walking quietly through the darkened house to the Captain's room, waiting as Shinji slid the door open and placing the little girl carefully onto the futon.  She bowed diffidently to Misato and turned to walk towards the front door to wait for her ride.

"You're sure about this?" Misato whispered, glancing at Shinji as she pulled her keys back out of her pocket.

Shinji nodded, hefting the bag of miscellaneous 'toddler' goods they had acquired on the way home.  "I'll be ok," he said, sounding very nervous, "go on."

"I'm not sure to be proud of you or disappointed in you," Misato told him coolly, eying the bag with a very skeptical expression, "you deliberately twisted my own words to suit your needs, you begged shamelessly, and on top of all that, you talked _me_ into paying for all that junk."  She shook her head seriously.  "I sincerely hope you know what you've gotten yourself into, Shinji."

The boy flushed, because he did not truly know what he was getting into – not even remotely.  "Ayanami's waiting for you," he whispered.

Misato sighed.  "I have to go report this to Section Two," she said quietly, "because I _know_ they know about it – but I'll get in trouble if I don't file a report.  Stupid rules."  She shook her head.  "So don't expect me back for a while, k?"  When Shinji nodded, the woman frowned.  "Can't believe I got roped into this," she muttered, pulling out her keys, "must be getting old."

She made her way to the front door, walking straight to her car as Rei fell in step at her side.  Neither spoke as they drove, each too caught up in their own thoughts to make awkward small talk, or (worse still) important conversation.  When they arrived at the girl's apartment complex, Misato finally spoke.

"How do you feel about all of this, Rei?"

The First Child pondered her response for a moment.  "It is unimportant, Captain," she said quietly.

"Maybe," Misato conceded, "but I'm curious.  Does it…" she leaned back in her seat, looking at the ceiling of her car.  "Does it make you feel good to be wanted like that?"

Rei looked at the handle to the car door, very much desiring to pull it.  "It is… unimportant."

"Alright," Misato sighed, "you don't have to tell me… goodnight, Rei."

"Goodnight."

Misato shook her head as the girl got out of the car and walked up the stairs to her building.  _So cold,_ she thought sadly.

She considered the front of the apartment building for a minute or two, then shifted the car into first gear and started off slowly towards NERV central to file her report.

Continued…?

Author's notes: none.

No pre-reader was used on this story.

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com 


	2. 2

Disclaimer: see 1.

3

2

By Random1377

Rei opened her eyes and sat up in her bed, blinking in the dark as her phone rang a second time.  Swinging her legs off the mattress, she walked slowly though the apartment and picked up the handset, whispering, "Hello?"

A horrible keening wail came through the phone, making her pull it away from her ear with an uncertain blink.  She was moving to hang it up when she recognized the voice of the Third Child, struggling to be heard over the din.

"Ayanami!! Ayanami, can you hear me??!?"

"Ikari?"

"Oh thank God!" Shinji gasped.  "Ayanami, listen – can you… can you come over?  Please??"

Rei frowned slightly, glancing at the clock in her small kitchen.  The clock read 1:34 AM.

"No."

She moved again to hang up the phone, wondering why the boy would even ask such an inappropriate question.

"_Please_!!!" Shinji cried desperately.  "Ayanami… listen – listen to what she's saying!"

Rei frowned, realizing that the screeching had a definite, syllabic sound.

It was her name.

"She wants you, Ayanami," Shinji practically sobbed, "she's been screaming for an hour and a half, ever since she woke up, and if Misato comes home and finds her like this, she'll just call the cops again and have them take her.  Please come, Ayanami, ok?  Please??"

The First listened for a moment longer to the horrible cries, weighing her own need for sleep against the desperation in both the child's voice and Ikari's before whispering, "I will be there."

"Thank you," Shinji babbled, "oh Ayanami, thankyouthankyouthankyou."

Rei blushed at the miserable gratitude in Ikari's voice and hung up, cutting the sound of the Child's screaming short and returning her to silence.  With a barely audible sigh, she began slipping her clothes on, and five minutes later, she was on her way.

She arrived at the other apartment at 2:25, knocking on the door with a soft sigh.  "I am he-" she began as the door opened, finding herself cut off as she was greeted with a grim-faced Shinji, holding a screaming toddler.

"See?" Shinji said quickly, "She's here – Rei's here!"

Immediately the child quieted, sniffling as she craned her head to see through her tears.

"Rei!"

Shinji was thrown off-balance as the little girl flung herself forward, trying to reach Rei from his arms.  "Easy!" he gasped as her wild movements made him stumble into the wall, his shoulder making a sickening thud as it hit.

 "Rei! Reeeeiii!!" the girl cried happily, squirming free of the boy's grasp and sliding to the floor.

Rei winced as the toddler scrambled to her feet and dove against her midsection, knocking some of the wind from her.

Both Children stared as the young girl put her arms out to the First, making a small, "Uh! Uh! Uh!" sound and bouncing in place.

"See…?" Shinji groaned, rubbing his shoulder, "she… she wants you."

Rei pursed her lips. "I do not want to carry you right now," she said coolly, "and I cannot stay – I have duties to fulfill tomorrow, I need sleep."

The girl blinked.  "Rei," she said firmly, trying to climb the blue-haired Child.

"No," Rei said firmly, pushing the girl away.

Shinji closed his eyes, fully expecting the little girl to explode again… but when no outburst was forthcoming, he carefully opened his eyes.  He was just in time to see the girl slip her left hand into Rei's right and stick her thumb into her mouth, smiling up at the older girl around the digit.

Rei met his eyes.  "This is unacceptable."

"I'm… I'm sorry," Shinji said awkwardly, shuffling his feet and looking at the little girl with a sad expression.  "I… she just wouldn't stop."

Rei entered the apartment, the little girl trailing along behind her with a content look on her still-tear-streaked face.

"Hey," Shinji said, wetting his lips and crouching in front of the girl.  "Now that Rei's here… can you tell me your name?"

The girl looked up at Rei with a questioning, slightly adoring glance.

"I think she's asking permission," Shinji said hopefully.

Rei looked mildly vexed.  "What is your name?" she asked calmly, looking down into the girl's eyes.

The girl smiled around her thumb.  "Bewwa."

Shinji bit his lip.  "Bewwa?" he asked, confused.

The girl looked at him, shaking her head.  "Be_ww_a!"

"Berra?"

This back and forth may have continued for some time had Rei not quietly muttered, "Bella."

The girl bobbed her head up and down, seeming to take the blue-haired girl's interpretation of her mumbled name as one more indication that she was divine.

"Bella," Shinji smiled uncertainly, "ummm, well… Bella, Rei can't stay with us.  She has her own home to sleep in, do you understand?"

Bella smiled up at Rei… and tightened her grip on the girl's hand, leaning against her leg and sucking a bit harder on her thumb.

"I don't think she wants you to go."

It was very hard for Rei to fight the urge to strike the Third Child.  "This is unacceptable," she repeated quietly, "I am not her mother, and I have other obligations to fulfill."

Shinji, looking abashed, nodded.  "Can you… can you stay until she falls asleep again?" he asked hesitantly.  "Please?  I'm sure Misato will be home soon."

"The Captain will not be pleased if she is made to help you," Rei pointed out softly, "she has made that very clear."  She looked down at the child, frowning faintly as her examination was greeted with a bright, warm, open smile.  "If you are unable to resolve this situation," Rei whispered, raising her eyes to Shinji's, "I believe she should be placed in the care of someone that is."

Shinji paled.  "Please, just tonight," he said anxiously, "I'll… figure something else out tomorrow – first thing, ok?  You don't have to sleep here, just… just help me get her to sleep… ok?"

Rei's frown was unmistakable this time, but she nodded reluctantly, brushing past Shinji and into the living room.

With a heartfelt sigh, Shinji closed the door and followed her.

**

Misato opened the door to the apartment as quietly as she could, easily finding the brightly luminescent digital numbers on the microwave.

They read 4:26.

She slipped her shoes off, briefly considering looking for some leftovers.  "Too tired," she muttered, shrugging out of her jacket and dropping it carelessly on the floor, "maybe there's some of those chips left in my room.  Damn Section Two… duplicate this… triplicate that – doesn't anyone just fill out _one _form anymore?!"

Yawning, she headed towards her room, passing the living room on the way.

"Hi Rei."

"Hello, Captain."

Misato continued towards her room.  She was halfway through another yawn when she stopped cold.  "Rei?"  

The First Child looked up at her with a rather bland expression as she came back into the living room, shifting slightly to redistribute the weight of the toddler sleeping in her arms.

"Rei?" Misato exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

If possible, the expression on the blue-haired girl's face grew more neutral.  "Ikari called me."

Misato looked around the living room, noticing for the first time that Shinji was asleep on the couch, one arm thrown over his eyes and the other hanging off the side to rest on the little girl's tussled black hair.

"Oh… I see."

She didn't… not really.  Her tired mind could not quite fathom why Shinji would have A: called Rei in the middle of the night, and B: fallen asleep on the couch when he had a perfectly good bed.

Her expression now bordering on the outright featureless, Rei whispered, "The child's name is Bella."

"Oh is it?" Misato answered lamely, "Bella."

_I think Rei's mad,_ she thought suddenly.

She had known Rei for several years, but did not, in all honesty, have much call to interact with her for more than twenty minutes at a stretch, so she could not claim to be an expert on the enigmatic girl's moods… but the very dryness of the First Child's tone indicated a _definite_ lack of amusement.

They looked at one another for a full minute.

"Does she have a last name?"

Rei blinked, glancing down at the girl, then back up to the captain.  "I did not ask," she said coolly.  She waited to see if the woman would ask any further questions, then said, "I do not believe that Ikari is capable of handling this responsibility, Captain."

Misato nodded slowly.  "I don't think so either," she admitted, "but I really don't know what else to do with her.  I mean, I'd hate to see her end up in a home… and the guy from Child Services promised to find her a place as soon as possible, so I kinda… kinda feel like I can't say no on this one, I mean, I tried and it didn't quite work out, you know?"

She shrugged.

Rei considered this, then looked Misato straight in the eye and murmured, "Perhaps you could try again."  Before the older woman could retort, Rei continued.  "I am certain that you are aware that I have other duties aside of school that I need to attend to," she said levelly, shifting again as Bella mumbled something in her sleep, "regardless of what your decision is regarding this matter, my obligations will not allow me to spend all of my time here assisting Ikari."

Misato scratched her head.  "Well, Shinji's got the same responsibilities," she mumbled, feeling rather defensive all of the sudden, "and I never asked you to come over and help… you could have said no, too, you know."

Rei, it seemed, did not find this comment worth answering, as she simply continued to stare at the Captain.

"Fine," Misato whispered, too tired to argue over who had more work to do, "give her to me and go sleep on Shinji's bed or something, I'll talk to him about this in the morning."

"I cannot stand," Rei said quietly, "I have been sitting in this position too long.  You will need to sit next to me or lift her off of me."

Misato yawned.  "I'll sit," she said gamely, lowering herself to the floor, "I can sleep anywhere."

The transfer of a sleeping child can be a delicate undertaking, requiring skill, finesse, and lots of practice.  As neither woman possessed these requirements, the end result of the awkward handoff was a rather undignified rustle of clothes, a startled squawk, a solid 'cloink' sound as two skulls met, and the noise every parent dreads… the sniffle/sob of a waking child.

"Ow," Misato groaned, rubbing her forehead as the girl in her arms stirred and murmured.  "This sucks."

Now freed, Rei simply stood and started for the door.  "Goodbye."

"Wait."

Rei paused, glancing back over her shoulder at Misato with an expectant, though mildly impatient expression.

"Thanks for helping out."

"You are welcome," Rei replied, walking to the front door and opening it without another word.  As she stepped out into the hall and closed the door, she heard the unmistakable sound of Bella's piercing, full-throated cry.

She did feel vaguely sorry for the Captain, but as she had other obligations, she did not hesitate to walk away without a backward glance.

**

"Good morning, Ayanami," Shinji whispered, giving the girl a halfhearted wave before collapsing into his school seat and letting his head drop onto the desk.

"Whoa," one of Shinji's friends, Touji Suzuhara, exclaimed, "get a loud of Ikari!  Musta been a hell of a night, man… who was she?"

Though Rei had no real intention of listening, the positioning of her desk was ideal for her to hear every word that was spoken by Ikari and his friends, and in spite of herself, she found that she was taking note of what was said.

"Her name's Bella," Shinji groaned, his voice sounding muffled and sullen against the hardwood under his head, "she's three."

"Three?" Shinji's other friend, Kensuke Aida, scoffed, "isn't that like, illegal?"

"Illegal and gross," Touji corrected, shaking his head with disgust, "Ikari's a pedo… I'm so disappointed."

Male bonding was a concept that still eluded Rei, so she could not quite understand why the idea of Ikari engaging in inappropriate contact with a child would be amusing, but both he and Aida laughed – Aida more than Ikari, admittedly, but they both laughed nonetheless.

"That's pretty messed up," Touji observed as Shinji briefly sketched his situation, "and she thinks Ayanami is her mom??"

"No," Shinji yawned, "she doesn't call her Mommy or anything like that, she just – she just… likes her, I guess."

"So where is she now?" Kensuke wondered.

"Well," Shinji said reluctantly, "Misato said she'd watch her so I could come to school... but only to tell the class rep the whole story and take a few days off until they can find Bella a place to stay."

"So you're gonna be out of school??" Touji complained, "Dude!  You're such a slacker!"

"I'm not gonna be like, watching TV or anything," Shinji protested, his voice full of frustration, "I'm gonna be watching Bella."

Kensuke and Touji exchanged a glance, and Touji sighed.  "Shinji," he said sadly, shaking his head and putting a hand on Shinji's shoulder, "you're the only guy I know that could skip the sex and go straight to the kid – seriously dude, being your friend is like working on the set of a soap."

"Hey Class Rep," Kensuke called suddenly, waving a brown-haired girl over to them, "Ikari's getting married, so he needs a few days off."

"You're getting married?" the class representative, Hikari Horaki, asked uncertainly, looking only mildly surprised to hear that one of the two Evangelion pilots in class 2-A was engaged.  "Umm, ok, I guess… how many days-"

Shinji, finally managing to overcome his shock at Kensuke's announcement, sputteringly cut in, "I'm n-not getting married!  I just…"

Touji gave Kensuke a high-five as Shinji buried his head in his hands and let out a mock sob.

Hikari rolled her eyes.  "I should have known when _you_ told me, Aida," she muttered darkly, "I must be losing my edge."  She sighed as Kensuke just laughed.  "Do you really need some time off, Ikari?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," Shinji nodded, "I do…"

Hikari frowned, glancing at Kensuke and Touji as Shinji told her why he needed to take some time off, trying to gauge whether or not this was another put on.  "Ayanami," she said tentatively, "I hate to bother you, but… is umm, is… Bella as clingy as Shinji says?"

Rei glanced at the other girl, knowing that what was really being asked was 'is Shinji making this all up to get out of school.'  "Yes," she said, turning away to look out the window as Hikari nodded to herself.

"Thanks Ayanami," Hikari murmured, turning to Shinji and assessing him closely for a moment.  "Do you-" she cut herself off, giving Shinji's friends a sharp, warning look before continuing, "do you need any help, Ikari?  I can bring over dinner tonight if you need me to."

"You would?" Shinji asked, his voice slightly awestruck.  "Really??"

Hikari looked flustered.  "Yeah, of course!" she said, exasperated, "Why wouldn't I?  We're friends, right?"

As Shinji drew a breath, and actually managed to get the 'ar' part of 'are we?' out before Touji and Kensuke both clapped their hands over his mouth.  "He'd love to," Touji said dryly, ignoring Shinji's struggles, "guy obviously needs all the help he can get."

Hikari just sighed and told Shinji she would come by later with something to eat.  

"Dude," Kensuke growled as the girl walked back to her desk, "sometimes you shouldn't talk!"

"What??" Shinji asked, confused, "What did I sa-"

"It's what you almost said!" Touji hissed, "If a chick asks if she can bring you food, you say yes, you moron – especially if she's cute!!"

"We're friends with an idiot," Kensuke lamented sadly, "I thought that was common knowledge – hell, even _I_ know that!"

From her desk, Rei could easily spot the blush riding high on Ikari's cheeks, but since his romantic involvements did not concern her, she simply looked away.  _It is only a problem if it interferes with EVA,_ she thought reasonably, taking one last, slightly lingering look at the boy before focusing on the world outside.

**

The train platform was crowded and busy, but Rei managed to find a quiet corner to wait, carefully situating herself to avoid any unwanted contact from the other riders.  Since she had started living on her own, and riding mass transit as a result, Rei had found that many members of the opposite sex found the close quarters and anonymity of the train platform an excellent opportunity to see how she felt about being touched.

She was not fond of it.

_Perhaps it is a male-dominant trait,_ she mused idly, frowning slightly as she witnessed a man in an expensive looking suit discretely brush his hand over the rear of a schoolgirl of about fifteen, _though I have seen women touching men when they thought-_

She was pulled from her thoughts by the ringing of her cell phone.  "Yes?" she answered simply, not bothering with identification.  

The way she figured it, if someone had her number, they knew who she was and knew that she lived alone… and if it was a wrong number, she owed them no courtesy.

"Ayanami?"

Rei felt no real surprise at hearing Shinji's voice, but she was mildly interested to hear a soft, girlish babbling in the background.  "Yes."

"Ummm, Bella wanted to ask you something."

Now this, Rei was not expecting.  "Alright," she said softly.

There was a moment of quiet, then a timid voice mumbled, "Hi."

"Hello," Rei replied, looking up as a train approached, then back down as she found that it was not her line.

There was a moment of what sounded like heavy, directly-in-the-mouthpiece breathing, and then Bella said, "Hi."

Rei's brow drew down slightly.  "Hello," she said once more, wondering what the best way to get off the phone would be.  

Before she could say anything more, she heard Shinji urging, "Go ahead," in the background.

"You c'ming… home… fo' dinno, Rei?"

"Pardon?" Rei asked uncertainly.

"You c'ming dinner?"

As Rei opened her mouth, she heard Shinji say, "Can I talk for a minute, Bella?"  She closed her mouth and waited, trying not to feel exasperated as a loud clunk echoed through the phone.  "Sorry about that," Shinji said quickly, "she dropped it."  He took a deep breath, clearly uncomfortable with what he was going to say, and murmured, "Can you come over for dinner, Ayanami?  That's what Bella was asking.  You see, we umm… we kinda told her… you were at work."

"I do not understand," Rei admitted.  "I do not have a job."

"Well, I know," Shinji said quickly, "but… but Bella's mother must have had one, because, well… Bella was screaming this morning, and… and the only thing that got her to calm down was telling her that you went to work and you would be back for dinner."  After a moment of absolute silence, Shinji hurried on.  "She's talking, though – you heard her, right?  I mean, she's kind of hard to understand… but I think she's kind of… kind of gotten used to me – but she still wants you, and-"

"Ikari," Rei cut in coolly, "I do live near you.  It would be inconvenient to have dinner with you.  Goodbye."

"Wait! Wait!" Shinji said quickly.  "Misato will drive you home after Bella goes to sleep – she promised.  Just… I don't want her to cry anymore, Ayanami.  Can you please come over?  Hikari made some really good pork ramen, and-"

"I dislike eating meat," Rei cut in, "goodbye."

"Ayanami, wait!" Shinji's voice was now verging on the desperate. "Ummm… I'll make you something, I promise.  Please…"

There was a very long silence as Rei glanced at the clock hanging from the train station's ceiling.  _I have no assignments tomorrow,_ she thought reasonably, _but if I continue to assist him, he will never be able to handle her on his own._  She glanced down the track, noting the number on the train gliding into the station.

"I will be there."

Shinji gave her another pathetic thank you and hung up, never knowing that the blue-haired girl's final decision was based on nothing more than the fact that the train to his apartment arrived before the one she normally took.

Continued…

Author's notes: thanks to RisingDragon for pointing out that Bella's hair color was unspecified in 1.  Correction on 12/25/2003 – changed number of EVA pilots from 3 to 2, with thanks to the young Wheaties eater.

No pre-reader was used in this chapter.

Feedback is always welcome here or at random1377@yahoo.com 


	3. 3

Disclaimer: see 1.

3

3

By Random1377

Rei raised her hand and knocked on the apartment door, waiting patiently for the Captain or the Third Child to open it for her.  She was not particularly enthusiastic about spending the evening with her coworkers, but she had decided on the train ride over that she should make the best of it.

_Always look on the bright side,_ she told herself as she waited, _that is the old expression, correct?_

The bright side in this case, she mused, was that she would get something better for dinner than another cup soup – and while she did not terribly _mind_ instant food, it did become tiresome after so many years… which was one more, slightly guilty reason for her to enjoy her infrequent dinners with Commander Ikari.

_Ikari's__ lunches do smell good,_ she thought, unconsciously straightening her back as the door started to slide open, _perhaps-_

"Rei!"

Rei grunted as Bella shot out of the apartment and threw herself against her stomach, knocking the wind from her. "Please do not do that," she asked once she had regained her breath.

"Hello, Ayanami."

Rei paused in the process of disentangling herself from the toddler, glancing up to find her class representative studying her closely, her arms folded over her breasts and an assessing expression on her freckled face.  "Miss Horaki," Rei returned politely, finally freeing herself of Bella's arms, "good evening."

"You don't have to be so formal," Hikari said lightly, "we're not at school."

Rei simply stared at her, allowing Bella to seize her hand with a very faint frown.

"Well," Hikari sighed, "come on in.  Shinji said he should have your dinner done in a few minutes."  She looked Rei up and down, tilting her head to the side as she commented, "I never knew you were a vegetarian – is it for medical reasons?  I've read that albinos-" 

She cut herself off, flushing brightly.

"Umm… sorry…" Hikari murmured, looking awkwardly at the floor, "if I'm not in the classroom, I kinda… kinda ramble."

Rei said nothing, waiting for the other teen to step out of her way… but Bella seemed to find this comment interesting.  "Rei… owbino?" she said skeptically, looking from Rei to Hikari and back, "Rei is not owbino – Rei is _giro_."

The toddler emphasized the word as if Hikari was more than a little slow.

Hikari laughed nervously.  "I… I know, honey," she said uneasily, "an albino is a person that has… umm… pale skin and red eyes – like Re-"

"I am not an albino," Rei interjected suddenly, her tone conveying neither anger nor malice.  She was simply correcting a mistake – nothing more.

There were far more important things to focus one's attention on, after all.

If Hikari was red before, she was downright crimson now.  "R-right," she stammered, stepping out of the way and gesturing Rei into the apartment.  "Sorry."

Rei stepped past her, trailing Bella, and headed directly into the kitchen.  "Captain," she said calmly, "good evening."

"Oh, hi Rei," Misato waved cheerily, "howareya?"

The First Child's lips pursed slightly as she surveyed the table in front of the older woman, counting no less than seven beer cans.  _I see,_ she thought, glancing back up at the woman's wide smile and rosy cheeks.

"Ayanami, hi!"

Rei turned to find Shinji – complete with a spatula and cook's apron – standing in front of the stove.  "Good evening," she said for the third time.

"I'm just making some stir-fried vegetables… is that ok?" the boy asked hopefully.

"Yes," Rei replied simply, the enticing smell emanating from the wok hinting that tonight's bright side would definitely be the meal… as the child still attached to her hand was already pulling her towards the living room in an attempt to 'converse' with her.

_I can barely understand her,_ Rei thought, trying to make sense of the hastily babbled sentence the toddler threw her way.

"What did she say?" she asked Misato, completely ignoring the tugging on her hand as she waited for an explanation.

Misato, Rei found, had somehow managed to dispose of most of the cans in the few seconds her attention had been diverted, leaving only the one currently clasped loosely in her palm.

"She wants you to look at her drawings," Shinji offered helpfully when Misato shrugged, "she's been coloring most of the day."

Rei glanced at the clock, then the wok Shinji was stirring, determining that it would be at least a few minutes before she could eat and – by extension – leave.  "Very well."

"Go with her, Hikari?" Shinji asked as the First Child let herself be dragged towards the living room.  "I think she needs a translator."

"Umm, sure," the class rep said, clearly uncomfortable with the idea.

"Rei, Rei, Rei," Bella burbled happily, leading the First Child into the living room and dropping to the floor, "sit dowen, Rei."

"She wants you to sit down," Hikari offered.

"Yes, I know," Rei returned coolly, her tone oozing patience, "I do not want to."

"R-right…"

Rei heaved a mental sigh.  She did not get any particular enjoyment out of the class representative's discomfort, and on some level, she actually understood that the girl was trying to make up for her horrible (and at the same time, justified) faux-pas at the front door by being as helpful as possible.

She just wished that the girl would not try.

"Rei," Bella said happily, holding up a picture of a stick figure with a mess of blue lines on its head and miniscule, off-center red dots for eyes.

"Aww!!" Hikari exclaimed, her discomfort momentarily forgotten in the light of such cuteness.  "Look!!"

Rei simply nodded, saying nothing as the girl sifted through the pile of pictures, searching for another to show off.  _Her health seems to have improved, _she observed idly, nodding as another picture was thrust up at her, _she seems... fuller, I suppose._

There was definitely a feeling of more _presence_ about the young girl – as if she had been only partially there before, and was now fully realized.  Her eyes sparkled with life as she brokenly described each of the pictures contents, pushing Rei's class representative to heretofore unseen heights of adoring rapture.

"Look!" Hikari practically gushed, "How cute is THAT!?"

Rei nodded once more as Bella rose to her feet and showed her a drawing depicting the blue-haired stick figure holding hands with a smaller, dark-haired stick figure.  When the girl simply stood with the picture outstretched, Rei found herself at a loss.

"What do you want?" she asked coolly.

"She's… she's giving it to you," Hikari answered, her smile collapsing as she remembered who was standing next to her.  "How can you not think that is cute?" she asked, baffled, "Look – it's you and her."

"I can see that," Rei said quietly, "but I do not have a need for it."

If Bella was offended, she said nothing.  She simply stood and waited for her idol to take the drawing.

"Here," Hikari said gently, crouching in front of the girl and slipping the picture out of her hands, "I'll fold it up for Rei and she can have it after dinner, ok?  She just… doesn't want to get it dirty."

"Rei wike pictcho?" Bella inquired.

Rei considered her reply for a moment.  She had never seen the artwork of a three year old before, so she was not able to fairly compare it to other works in its class.  _If you are in doubt,_ she thought suddenly, remembering a lesson the Commander had taught her long ago, _be polite – but do not be ingratiating._

"It is nice."

Hikari winced as the girl lunged at Rei, hitting her in the stomach again as she clumsily embraced her, and for the first time since arriving with dinner… it occurred to her to question not only why the girl was starved for the reclusive pilot's attention, but why she was _so_ desperate for it.  She knew about the sores on the girl's back, of course, as Shinji had given her a full rundown on her condition when Hikari had arrived, but she wondered suddenly what they might see if the sores were not there.  Faded bruises perhaps?  Scars?  Cigarette burns?

_When you get right down to it,_ Hikari thought as Rei pushed the girl away, _no one really knows anything about this girl.  The doctor said she had no broken bones… but there are other ways to hurt a child – things that don't show._

This thought was still in her mind when Shinji called out that Rei's dinner was ready, and the blue-haired girl started out of the living room.

_She's abusing her right now._

Hikari blushed, unconsciously smoothing her skirt as the harsh accusation burned through her mind.  That it felt so right was both proper and unfair – for while it was true that Rei could have been a bit nicer, she was not _obligated_ to.  She was certainly not related to the young girl, and she clearly had a lot of things on her mind.

It just eluded Hikari's understanding that anyone could be exposed to such innocence and warmth and just turn it away.

"Hikari… your father's on the phone."

"C-coming!" Hikari called, blinking as she realized she had not even heard the phone ring.

_Maybe I'll talk to her about it on Monday,_ she thought, _I'm supposed to be responsible for my class, right?  And Ikari and Ayanami are both IN my class, so…_

Hikari smiled as she headed into the kitchen to answer the phone… completely ignoring the fact that this type of behavior was what had labeled her a busybody.

**

"I'll be right back."

Rei did not look up from her plate as Shinji announced his departure.  "You sure you don't want a ride?" Misato asked once more, leaning back in her chair and stretching until her midsection was bare.

"No thank you," Hikari chirped brightly, "I like taking the train actually – gives me a chance to think."

"You can't do that at home?" Misato inquired teasingly.

"With two sisters and a hamster?" Hikari snorted, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.  "Yeah right."

"Well dinner was great," the older woman said honestly, "you can cook for us anytime!"

Rei glanced at the class representative from the corner of her eyes, finding the girl looking rather uncomfortable.

"M-maybe," Hikari stammered, shooting Shinji an oddly embarrassed look.  "If, you know – if Shinji needs some more help, I guess…"

The two teens made their exit, leaving Misato, Rei, and Bella alone in the kitchen.  Silence prevailed for several minutes as Rei finished her meal, Bella colored, and Misato studied them both.

"You don't know why she was embarrassed, do you?" Misato asked suddenly.

Rei laid her chopsticks down and picked up a napkin, carefully wiping the corners of her mouth before replying, "No, I do not… but it is not important."

"Important or not, I'm still gonna explain it," Misato winked.

"I see."

The older woman leaned back in her chair once more, considering the First Child over the rim of her after-dinner coffee mug.  "Eh, forget it," she sighed, deciding that she would be wasting her breath trying to point out to the pale girl why cooking a meal for a man (mitigating circumstances of a lost child not withstanding) could be seen as a sign of interest.  "Just finish up and I'll take you home."

"Yes ma'am."

"Ooo, so obedient," Misato grinned, "maybe I'll just order you to come and take care of Bella fulltime."

Rei regarded the woman calmly for a moment.  "I would not be able to follow such an order," she replied coolly, "it would conflict with-"

"Joke," Misato cut in, rolling her eyes, "it was just a joke, Rei – you don't think I'd really abuse my position like that, do you?"  When the First said nothing, Misato groaned.  "You do… God, you must think I'm just a drunken, carefree little tramp."

Wisely, Rei kept silent.  _Her behavior at home is far different from her behavior at NERV,_ she observed critically, _but no, I suppose she would not attempt to issue such a frivolous order._

A tug at her sleeve drew her attention.

"Heeoh," Bella yawned, "pictcho fo Rei."

Rei took what seemed like the hundredth stick-figure drawing, noticing absently that it was a depiction of her eating dinner, her stick hand looking rather like a porcupine from the child's attempt to draw chopsticks in it.

"She loves saying your name," Misato pointed out thoughtfully, "if it's me or Shinji, she just says 'you,' but she always calls you by name."

Rei found that she had no reply to this observation.  What could she say, really?  So a vagabond child enjoyed repeating her name – why should that affect her?  Granted there was vaguest sense of… satisfaction, perhaps? at being needed, but when all was said and done, she was a Child, and she could not allow herself to be distracted by something as simple as an overly affectionate toddler.

"We should get going," Misato announced, sliding her chair back from the table, "she's getting tired – if I'm lucky, she'll fall asleep in the car and I can actually get a good night's sleep."  She rose to her feet, grabbing her jacket and throwing it over her shoulders.  "Come on, we'll pick Shinji up on his way back from the train station."

"Yes ma'am."

As the woman headed for the door, Rei place the pile of pictures that had accumulated in her lap down on the table, but before she could leave, there was another tug on her sleeve.

"What?" she said calmly, turning to find Bella staring up at her with a bright smile.  "What do you need?"

"Rei's pictchos," the girl said serenely, grabbing the stack of papers and offering it out to the First Child, "Rei take Rei's pictchos."

Rei briefly considered saying that she did not want the stack of drawings, but a quick mental rundown of the younger girl's behavior thus far hinted that a tantrum might be forthcoming.  _She seems more volatile when she is tired,_ Rei thought, silently taking the pictures, _it would be best to avoid an argument._

"Take Rei howem," Bella sighed, starting for the door and keeping Rei's shirt firmly clasped in her hand, "time fo Rei go sleepy."

Bemused, Rei just followed along, getting the oddest feeling that the younger girl was trying to act like an adult.  _How strange,_ she thought, lifting her right foot as the toddler crouched down and pulled on her ankle, trying to slide Rei's shoe on for her.

"Thayo."

"They are on the wrong feet," Rei pointed out, glancing down at her shoes.

Bella's brow furrowed as she regarded Rei's feet, and after a moment's thought, she crouched down once more, deliberately lifting the older girl's right foot and crossing it over her left.

"Thayo.  Aww fixed."

A bright flash made Rei blink.

"Sorry," Misato whispered, clicking her camera off and setting it carefully on the floor, "I couldn't help it."

With a faint sense of vexation at the woman for photographing her in such a ludicrous position, Rei slipped her shoes off and put them on the right feet, following her out the door and offering no protest as Bella took her hand, smiling happily.

**

Rei kept her silence as the moving walkway trundled along through the depths of NERV central.  _It is the third Friday,_ she reminded herself, resisting the urge to cast a sidelong glance at her companion, Gendou Ikari, to see what his expression was.

The third Friday of the month, for as long as Rei could remember, meant dinner with the Commander, an event she looked forward to for most of the month.  They would go to his apartment, or some nice restaurant with good vegetarian food, they would talk about mundane things whenever they felt that the comfortable silence had gone on too long, and at the end, the Commander would drive her home in his car, solemnly wishing her goodnight before driving away into the evening dark.  It was an event so familiar and regular in Rei's life that she could have set her clock by it.  Even when she was recovering from her injuries in Unit 00, the Commander had come to eat with her on the third Friday of the month.

It had even enabled her to avoid dining with Ikari, Captain Katsuragi, and Bella – something she had not had a valid reason for bypassing for three days.

Today, however, the conversation did not promise to be comfortable, as the Commander seemed to have something weighing on his mind.  "Your synchronization scores seem to be up," he said, finally breaking the silence.

Rei tried to relax.  Everything was as it should be.

"Yes, three points."

"And how is school?" the Commander asked coolly.

"No difficulties," Rei replied truthfully.  Indeed, none of her current issues had any relation to school whatsoever.

Of course, the Commander was not a stupid man.

"That's good," he said levelly, "however…"

"Yes?" Rei asked quietly, knowing that of all the people in her life, this was not the one to be forced to wait for her to show that she was paying attention.

"About this… girl that the Third Child has taken in," Gendou said levelly, "I have noticed that you have spent a good deal of time at Captain Katsuragi's apartment over the past few days, assisting in the tending of the girl."  He glanced at Rei from the corner of his eye.  "Do I have any reason to be concerned by this?"

Rei, of course, knew what was really being asked.

"No sir," she said softly, "it will not interfere with my other duties."

There was a brief pause.  "And I can be assured that, should the need arise, you will place NERV objectives over personal goals?"

Rei blinked.  This was a question she never would have expected to hear – not from her Commander!  Had she not always performed to the best of her abilities?  Had she not always placed NERV interests above her own?  Why even ask such an unusual question, when she had little to no desire to even be in Bella's presence, let alone presume to place her needs above those of all mankind?

"Of… of course, Commander."

Gendou's lips compressed slightly at the hesitance in her reply.  "Perhaps it would be easier if the choice was clearer for you," he said slowly.

_He… does not believe me,_ Rei thought with amazement; _surely he must know that it is not my choice to spend time with Bella._

"Yes," Gendou said thoughtfully, "I think it would be best if you were to avoid contact with the girl from this point forward."

Confused, Rei could only reply, "If that is your order, sir."

"It is."

"Understood."

The duo stepped off the moving walkway.  "Good evening, Rei."

"Good evening, Commander."

Rei gave the man a polite bow, her normally placid thoughts moving with far greater rapidity than any time besides a combat situation as he turned and strode away.  _I am… dismissed;_ she thought uncertainly, _it IS the third Friday… isn't it?_  She glanced at her watch, frowning slightly as she found that it was definitely the day before Saturday… yet here she was, standing by herself at the end of an empty corridor in NERV central.

There had been no invitation to dinner… no quiet conversation… no comfortable ride in the commander's car – nothing.  It was as if she had been discarded… and Rei could not figure out just why.

_Have I done something wrong, Commander?_ she longed to ask, _I do not understand.  I have followed all of my orders, and my obligations have all been fulfilled… why am I…_

"Punished…"

The word rolled off her tongue like a worm – a vile and unclean thing that had somehow found its way into her vocabulary after a lifelong absence.  Yes, this was punishment – punishment for not being stronger and telling Ikari to handle his own issues.

She looked around, suddenly realizing how empty the world was when no one noticed you.  Always before she had been special – unique.  Certainly she could be replaced if the circumstances called for it, but always before she had been treated with a certain… respect, or at the very least, courtesy by her commanding officer.  She had shared his house for the first few years of her life, had dined with him every third Friday since the day she had moved into her own apartment, and had always known – deep down, if not on the surface – that anything she had to say, would be listened to and believed.

And now that certainty had been removed.

_Well I have my orders,_ she thought, taking another glance around the empty hallway before starting off towards the elevator bank, _I will simply tell Ikari that I have other obligations, and he will need to find a way to deal with it himself._

With this thought in her mind, and a barely detectable frown on her lips, Rei pushed the elevator call button, determined to keep her life and Bella's life from intersecting ever again.

Life, of course, had other plans.

Continued…

Author's notes:  none.

As with 1 and 2, no pre-reader was used on this chapter.

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com or by leaving a review on any website with that capability.  Thank you.


	4. 4

Disclaimer: see 1.

3

4

By Random1377

Everything went smoothly for three days.  Since Shinji was not at school, and unauthorized personnel were not allowed at NERV headquarters, avoiding contact with Bella was simply a matter of rejecting Shinji's invitations to dinner and avoiding getting trapped somewhere that he might be able to corner her and ask for an explanation.  Captain Katsuragi, it seemed, had been briefed on her orders, as the purple-haired woman made no attempts to encourage Rei to come over any more.  The downside to this was that the Captain was a little standoffish, and only gave lip service to being polite to the First.

But that was alright.  Rei was following her orders, and the Commander no longer gave the impression that he was upset with her.  Yes, she decided as she came into the classroom on Friday morning, everything was as it should be.

"Hey, Ayanami."

Almost everything, anyway.

"Representative Horaki," Rei replied calmly, drawing up short as Hikari rose from her seat and blocked her path, "how can I help you?"

"I'm taking dinner over to Shinji tonight," Hikari said brightly, "wanna come with?"

Rei regarded the girl for a moment before stepping to the side and saying, "No."

Hikari, used to the blue-haired girl's cool nature, simply took a corresponding step back.  "Why not?" she asked cheerfully.  "It'll be fun.  I'll make you something with no meat, and maybe we can watch a video or something.  Come on."

"Because I do not wish to," Rei said plainly, "I have other obligations."

As the pilot stepped past her, Hikari gave one last-ditch effort.  "Bella would love to see you," she whispered, "come on, Ayanami… you know that girl thinks you're like, heaven-sent or something."

Rei frowned slightly at this comment, but offered no reply.  _I have been ordered not to;_ she thought reasonably, slipping into her desk and looking out the window as the class representative sighed and sat back down, _and what concern is it of hers?  She is not a family member, nor does she have a romantic inter-_

"Rei!!"

Looking up, Rei was just in time to see Bella complete the short run from the front of the classroom to her desk and slam into her, throwing her small arms around Rei's shoulders.

"Ikari," she murmured, finding Shinji making his way back towards her at a (thankfully) much slower pace.

"Hey Ayanami," Shinji said sheepishly. "How are you?  I haven't been able to get in touch wit-" 

"Why are you here?" Rei interjected, absently pushing Bella back several times before finally giving up and allowing the girl to climb onto her lap.

Shinji shuffled his feet.  "Well," he said reluctantly, "Misato had to go to that presentation, and we were all alone in the house… so I thought I'd take Bella to the park, or for ice cream or something."  He shrugged awkwardly.  "That's what you do with kids, right?  But umm, on the way to the park, she kept asking to see you, and we weren't far from school, so…"

Rei glanced down as Shinji trailed off, finding Bella beaming happily up at her.

"Rei," Bella said, turning back to face forward and bouncing from side to side on the First's lap, "Rei, Rei, Rei, Rei…ReiReiReiReiRei."

"I think she's singing," Hikari giggled, giving Shinji a warm smile as she came to stand beside him.  "How cute!"

Rei was unamused.

"You should return home," she recommended, putting her hands on Bella's shoulders to still her, "our class is about to start."

Class was something that Rei had never really paid too much mind, but she _was_ under orders not to interact with the child on her lap, and it seemed a viable reason to get Ikari to take her home.

_She is very light,_ she thought as Bella leaned back against her chest.

"Don't be such a stiff," Hikari chided gently, "we've still got ten minutes… and look how happy she is."

Rei glanced down, finding Bella arching her back at what must have been an intensely uncomfortable angle in an attempt to look into her eyes, a broad smile gracing her spritly features.  They stared at each other for well over a minute, brown meeting red unblinkingly until Bella giggled and twisted on Rei's lap, wrapping her arms around the older girl's neck.

"Rei cuwoh?"

"I don't understand," Rei said, blinking as she realized that her cheeks were faintly warm.

"Cu-woh," Bella said distinctly, separating the syllables for her idol, "wiff cayons."

"Here," Shinji said quickly, reaching into his pocket as Rei cast about helplessly for a translation, "she wants you to color with her."

Bella bobbed her head up and down as Shinji handed her a small box of crayons, bouncing on Rei's lap again and grabbing the piece of scratch paper Hikari offered her with a muttered, "Fankqu."

When she looked up expectantly, Rei shook her head.  "I do not col-"

Abruptly, Shinji's cell phone rang.

Everyone tensed.  "Angel?" Hikari asked nervously.

"I… I don't think so," Shinji said uncertainly, "Rei's would be ringing too."  He pulled the device out of his pocket and put it up to his ear, pushing the Talk button.  "Hello?  Oh, Misato!" a relieved grin spread over his features.  "No, I'm at sch- what?"  Hikari and Rei watched the expression on Shinji's face change from relief to shock as he listened.  "Well, yeah, I can, but I'm… uh huh… uh huh… well, I've got Bel- oh… yeah, I understand.  Bye."

"What's wrong?" Hikari asked.

Shinji slipped the phone back into his pocket.  "I've… gotta go," he said anxiously, looking from Bella to Rei and back again as he took a hesitant step back, "Misato needs Un- needs me for something, I have to go."

Rei looked down at the girl on her lap, then back up at the agitated Third Child, but before she could speak, he continued speaking.

"Misato said 'Have Rei watch Bella while you're gone, it shouldn't take too long.'"

"I cannot-"

"Please, Ayanami," Shinji cut in hastily, "I really have to go – Section Two is already on its way to get me.  It's _really_ important, so… so here's my house key."  He hesitated, then gave a quick bow, dropping the key on the desk.  "I'm sorry!"

Rei could only watch in mute shock as the boy turned on his heel and dashed out of the room, leaving her with a lapful of energy-filled child and the key to the Captain's apartment.

"Huh," Hikari hummed, looking amused as she glanced down at the little girl, "looks like he left you holding the bag… or, you know, holding the Bella." 

A bland look was her only reply as Rei shifted Bella to one side and reached into her pocket, pulling out her own cell phone.  She dialed with quick precision, putting her free hand on Bella's shoulder to still her as the girl's boisterous movements gained intensity.

"Commander," she said calmly after listening for a moment. "Ikari has-"

Hikari could not contain a smile as the blue-haired girl cut herself off.  _Someone's getting an answer she doesn't like,_ she thought, trying not to laugh as Rei's hand tightened around her phone. _Come on, Ayanami… she's not that bad!  And I saw that look you got when she hugged you… you liked it._

"I understand," Rei was saying, the faint crease in her brow indicating that she did not, "but weren't my orders to- no sir, I do not.  No sir… I do not.  Yes… I understand.  Goodbye."

"So what did he have to say?" Hikari asked, unable to keep a faint note of glee from entering her voice.

Rei gave her a blank stare.  "Isn't that the teacher?"

Hikari's smile collapsed. "Oh damn!  Everybody rise!  Bow!  Be seated!"

The teacher waved one hand, adjusting his glasses as he looked down the aisle at Rei and Bella.  He cleared his throat.  "Miss Ayanami," he said, sounding remarkably calm, "Would you care to explain yourself?"

_Ok,_ Hikari thought, rising to her feet, _I gotta admit, watching her squirm WOULD be fun, but I said I'd help Shinji with Bella any way I could… and besides, she'd probably just stare, or say, 'no,' anyway._

"Ikari was called away for something related to NERV," the class rep said levelly.  "This is the girl he's been tending, sensei."

"Ahh Ikari," the teacher said, nodding sagely, "I see… and NERV-related, hmm?  Very well. Miss Ayanami, you are excused for the day…"

Some of the students in the front row would later swear that the man muttered, 'don't know why today would be different from half the others in the week,' as Rei rose to her feet and bowed diffidently… but this was never verified.

**

The door to Captain Katsuragi's apartment slid smoothly open, allowing two non-residents to enter.  Pen-Pen, Misato's warm water penguin, waddled into the hallway to greet the visitors, but beat a hasty, squawking retreat as the shorter of the two squealed in delight and tried to pick him up.

Unsure of how to handle this situation, the taller figure simply watched, her hands hanging loosely at her sides as Pen-Pen was chased all around the apartment, finally taking refuge (after a quickly shot, very disapproving glance) in his refrigerator.

Laughter sounded through the apartment as Bella dropped to all fours and knocked on the penguin's dwelling.  "Come owet!!" she giggled, "Come owet, buwdy!"

Rei just shook her head.

The morning and early afternoon in the company of a child, she had found, were really not that difficult.  The dark-haired girl had proved to be very easygoing, and was more than happy to run screaming through the park, laughing until Rei was sure that she could not breathe as the First sat quietly on a bench and read.  And when lunchtime rolled around, Rei found that the commercials were right: McDonalds really _did_ make children smile – and while the smell of cooking meat made her own stomach turn, the 'happy meal' seemed to please Bella no end.

Especially when she discovered the small, clearly movie-inspired plastic kitten tucked in the bottom of the cardboard box. 

_Ikari's plan worked,_ she thought, surveying the empty apartment with a small frown, _though I am not entirely sure that what that restaurant served could technically qualify as 'ice cream.'_

And so here she was, left with the question that has plagued new parents for centuries.

Now what?

"Rei," Bella grinned, running up to grab the First by the hand, "Tivee!"

Hoping that the child was, in fact, asking to watch television, Rei let herself be led into the living room, looking around vainly for the remote for a moment before simply walking over and turning the set on at the cable box.  

"Heeow," Bella said cheerfully, climbing up on the couch and digging in cushions for a minute before coming up with a very sticky looking remote control.

Rei looked at the device in utter silence for a moment.  _Is that… jelly?_

"You keep it."

Bella's smile grew bigger, and she patted the cushion next to her.  "Sit dowen, Rei."

With nothing better to do – quite literally – Rei sat down on the couch and looked at the screen, but brightly colored creatures cavorting on a rabbit-filled hillside held no interest for her, and her mind soon began to wander.  _Representative Horaki will be over later,_ she thought idly, offering no resistance as Bella lifted her right arm and snuggled in against her side.  _But Ikari did not say when he would be returning._

The Commander had briefly outlined the situation, and assured her that she would not be penalized for breaking his command not to help Shinji with Bella.  'Some things cannot be helped,' he had told her over the phone, sounding ever so slightly irritated at having to go back on an order – even a small one like this.  'The Third Child will be returning ASAP.'

Rei had been on the verge of pointing out that if this happened when both EVAs were needed there would be no solution, but the Commander was not a stupid man, and considering the mood he was in when she spoke to him, Rei decided that biting her tongue would be the best course of action.

_And the Second will be coming soon,_ she thought, wondering what the pilot of Evangelion Unit 02 would think of Ikari's situation, _Commander Ikari said that she is rather short tempered… I doubt she will be willing to assist in this matter._

Bella sat up abruptly.  "Wantapeddutbudderjeddy."

Rei simply stared… but after a moment of being stared back at, she realized that the child was not likely to repeat herself just because she did not get a reply.  "I do not understand you," Rei said coolly.

"Peddut budder jeddy," Bella said, pausing to inhale sharply and producing a rather loud snorting sound.  Ignoring Rei's mildly repulsed look, the girl tried again.  "Pea dut… budter… jeddee."

After a moment of silence, Rei rose to her feet.  "I will see if there is any here."

Bella smiled, snorting once more before wiping her nose absently on her sleeve.

"And then we will change your shirt."

"Fankqu Rei."

Together, the two made their way to the kitchen, where a wary Pen-Pen quickly ducked back into his refrigerator with a grumpy sounding 'wark.'  Within minutes, Rei had gathered the necessary supplies, arranging them on the table with methodical care while Bella sat in one of the chairs and swung her feet back and forth, making small, nonsensical sounds in the back of her throat as she watched.

_How odd,_ Rei thought, pulling drawers open until she found what she was looking for, _she could not be convinced to speak when we first met… and now she will not stop making noise.  I will have to ask Ikari if she is-_

Rei shook her head, breaking the train of thought.

Why should she care if Bella was different for Ikari?  She was not even supposed to be there!  _I am losing my focus,_ she thought darkly, opening the first jar and dipping the knife carefully into it, _Ikari should…_

She let the dead-end thought trail off.  This was not Ikari's fault, and no matter how she tried to make it be, she could not rationalize being angry with the Third.  Certainly it would be convenient to put her irritation off on him, but when all was said and done – and as cold as it sounded – she was the one responsible for this situation, as she was the one who had carried the child off the train.

It would have been painfully easy for her to simply dump the girl at the end of the line and walk away, never looking back.

…but in spite of what the other children at school whispered when they thought she could not hear, she was not entirely emotionless, and while she would have loved to have been back at her own apartment or dining with the Commander, she found that Bella was not terribly demanding or obnoxious, so what was one day lost in her care?

"There," Rei said softly, setting the sandwich in front of Bella and carefully recapping the peanut butter and jelly jars.  When she looked back from putting the jars in the cupboards, she found Bella staring at her, her sandwich untouched.  "What?"

"Miwk pwease."

Rei nodded.  "Alright…"

Opening the fridge, she found a small frown creeping over her features.  _That is an… impressive amount of alcohol,_ she thought disapprovingly, _how does the Captain remain upright?_

Shaking her head, Rei pushed the cans of beer aside and pulled out a gallon of milk, filling a glass halfway and setting it on the edge of the table before putting the lid on the jug and turning to put it back in the fridge.  When she turned back around, Bella was standing on her chair and reaching across the table to get the glass, allowing Rei an unobstructed glance down the back of the girl's sundress.

_She is still bandaged,_ Rei observed, _it does not appear as bad as it was… but she is still… hurt._

Slowly, Rei sat down in the seat opposite Bella, watching as the girl carefully set the glass next to her plate, picked up her sandwich, and – with a pause to smile happily at Rei – took an enormous bite, taking at least a fifth of it into her mouth.

"Bella," she said carefully, "where are your parents?"

It was so obvious.  Everyone else had tried to get information from the child (Rei knew this because Ikari, for some reason, felt the need to leave daily updates on her answering machine) but so far, she had not been very good with answering questions, either smiling and going back to whatever she had been doing when she was interrupted, or just ignoring the asker entirely.  But Rei was her favorite, as Ikari, the Captain, and Horaki were quick to point out, so perhaps she could succeed where others failed and help return the child home.

Strictly to abide by the Commander's orders, of course.

"Woke," Bella replied immediately, her voice sounding muffled and slightly sticky.

Rei nodded.  "I see," she mused, "and… do you know where they work?"

Bella blinked.  "Woke at woke," she replied, her brow drawing down in confusion as she wiped her mouth with her other sleeve. "Rei woke.  Woke is… woke."

"Ah."

_Work is work,_ Rei thought, watching the girl take another huge bite, _of course… Ikari told her I was at work the first few nights she would not sleep, so in her mind… work is just another word for 'not here.'_

She considered her next question carefully for a moment, trying to keep in mind that it was being addressed to someone currently shoving nearly an entire sandwich into her mouth – and, ironically, was easier to understand as a result… but after a full minute of silence, she realized that there was nothing she could ask that would not be painful or troubling.

There was no delicate way of saying, 'Do you know that they're not coming home?' or 'Do you have relatives you can stay with?' or 'Do you know that you can't stay here forever, because no one here has time for you?'  Rei seriously doubted that the child could comprehend exactly what these questions meant, and as easy as it was to be blunt and straightforward with adults and others her age, the notion of speaking so plainly to a currently-parentless youth barely out of diapers seemed rather bad.  She briefly played with the idea of asking Bella for her address, but discarded it out of hand, realizing that the girl probably could not count to twenty, let alone remember a complicated array of numbers and letters like an address.

Ultimately… the only thing Rei could think to ask was, "Would you like another sandwich…?"

As she stood up to get the peanut butter and jelly out again, the phone rang.

Rei ignored it.  _I do not live here;_ she thought reasonably, _if it is important, they will leave a message._

The answering machine picked up as Rei was setting the jars back on the table, and she paused as a voice said, _"Hello, this is officer Kokbunji… anyone home?"_

Bella began humming something about peddut budder, but Rei tuned her out, listening closely as the police officer left his message. 

_"Well I guess you're on duty or something like that, but I thought I should call and let you know… we found out who the girl is.  We did a random check of families with one girl, and we lucked onto a family photo – total crapshoot."_

Rei felt a wave of relief wash over her.  _If they have found her family name, then they should be able to find a relative,_ she thought reasonably.

Unfortunately, the officer kept speaking.

_"It… looks like her full name is Belladonna Averson-"_

At this, Bella looked up, confused.

_"…and her folks, well, I hate to say it, but they've been listed as missing since the last angel.  They're immigrants, Captain, so we're having trouble tracking down any family.  Do you have any idea how many records were lost in Second Impact??"_  The man sighed heavily before continuing, _"So, the ball's in your court, Captain.  I know your kid said he could take care of her, but I don't know… he's what, fourteen?  Fifteen?  I don't think he knows what he's getting himself into… and I don't know if the government is willing to give custody to a kid, you know?  Maybe if NERV pulled some strings, or if he got hitched or something, but other than that…" _

Rei sat back down as Bella turned her attention to her second sandwich, clearly losing interest in the droning voice now that it was no longer addressing her.

_"Let me know what you want to do, Captain… my number's 55-35876, extension 5.  Bye.  Oh wait, something else…"_

Rei closed her eyes and let out a long, slow sigh as the officer added, _"The doctor was a little off on her age estimate.  The girl's birthday was four days ago."_

Bella smiled happily, completely unaware that Rei was hanging on the officer's every word as he flatly stated what had up to that point been pure speculation.

_"She just turned three."_

To be concluded…

Author Notes: none.

3 is not pre-read.

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing random1377@yahoo.com


	5. 5

Disclaimer: see 1.

3

5

By Random1377

Misato's apartment was quiet once again.  The refrigerator hummed softly, supplying a gently soothing drone to the kitchen's two occupants as they sat together in silence, one happily licking her fingers clean as the other stared solemnly into space.  Pen-Pen had decided to remain secluded for fear of another attack, so there was nothing to break the calm.

Beneath her cool exterior, Rei's mind was in a state of confusion.  _It is not my concern,_ she told herself for the fourth time, _I have orders not to assist Ikari in this matter, and there is no solution I can offer regardless, so why am I so…_

Her thoughts trailed off.  Worried did not seem to fit, in her mind.  Nor did unhappy, agitated, frightened, or scared – none of the words to describe concern or fear seemed to be appropriate for what she was feeling.

Then again, dealing with emotions was not Rei's strong suit.

"Cuwoh?"

Rei refocused her attention on the girl.  "I do not know where the crayons are," she said quietly.

Bella jumped off her seat and walked around the table.  "I show you."

Allowing the girl to slip her sticky hand into her own, Rei once again let her mind wander.  _She does not appear to be entirely gaijin,_ she thought absently, following as Bella tugged her into the living room, _perhaps her parents, or at least one of them, is from here originally._

"Uh oh."

"What?" Rei whispered, frowning as the girl shifted from one foot to the other.

"Gottagopahtee."

Having never used this term before, Rei was lost.  "What?"

"Pah-tee," Bella said clearly, now practically dancing in place, "gotta pahtee, Rei."

Rei simply stared.  _What is she saying?_

There may have been a rather unfortunate accident at this point had Bella not taken the initiative and forced out the unfamiliar, "Baffroom."

"Oh," Rei nodded.  "Oh, yes… go ahead."

Bella stared at her.

"What?" Rei frowned.  "You know where the bathroom is, correct?" she waited for the girl to nod.  "Then why are you not going to it?"

"Rei come wiff."

Rei did not quite know how to reply to this.

"Come wiff, Rei," Bella insisted, pulling on the First's hand and hauling her towards the bathroom like a pet owner dragging a reluctant dog in for her annual shots.

_She is remarkably strong for someone her age,_ Rei observed blandly, planting her feet at the threshold to the bathroom.

"Come wiff," Bella urged, trying fruitlessly to tug the blue-haired girl into the room.

Rei shook her head.  "I do not feel comfortable accompanying you."

Again, Bella stared at her.

Clearing her throat, and reminding herself of the girl's age, Rei said, "I will wait here.  You do not need me to come with you."

Bella frowned, looking slightly confused, and after a minute of silence, resumed her efforts to bring the First with her.

_This is foolish,_ Rei thought disapprovingly.

"You do not need me with you to use the bathroom," she said levelly, pulling her hand free and trying to suppress an unexpected surge of guilt at the girl's wide, shocked eyes.  "I am certain that Ikari does not accompany you."

For a long moment Bella stood irresolute, biting her bottom lip and looking from the toilet to Rei and back again as she shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.  Finally, she reached out and took Rei's hand once more.

"Pwease?" she asked anxiously, "Meesto an Shinchee wiw."

_She is persistent,_ Rei thought, staring down at the girl with an uncertain frown, _but I find it hard to believe that Captain Katsuragi or Ikari would go with her. _She hesitated for a moment, trying to think of a time when she had ever needed to interact with a child of Bella's age – or when she had ever paid attention to ANYONE dealing with a toddler at all.

Perhaps, she thought, this was normal.

_In a public restroom,_ Rei thought reasonably, _I can see a need to protect and watch over a child, but at home, where there is no danger of harm or abduct-_

"Pwease?"

With the barest of sighs, Rei stepped into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Tell me when you are done."

Bella bobbed her head, beaming happily as she dashed over to the toilet.

Rei turned to face the door, bowing her head as she thought; _Her__ mother must have come with her.  How odd… I cannot recall a time when I required assistance for anything.  The Commander has always taught me that self-reliance is paramount._  She fought the urge to hum as the little girl relieved herself, feeling that she might, possibly, understand why her classmates Aida and Suzuhara always seemed to be making noise.

There was a certain comfort to be taken from making ones own sound – it provided a kind of shield against awkwardness.  A thin shield, but a shield all the same.

"Aww done."

Rei nodded, turning back around, but quickly averting her eyes as she found the girl still pulling up her shorts.  "G-gomen."

_How strange,_ the First thought as the little girl flushed the toilet and moved over to the sink, _how many times in a week – or in a month – do I feel compelled to apologize?  And why do I feel the need to do it now?  I have seen other women with no clothes on during our physical education classes._

The answer came in a bolt of clarity.

_It is because of her age.  She is small and weak… easily overpowered.  So much of my youth has been centered on defending myself from others, both in and out of EVA, so I am naturally aware of how frail the human body is._  She cast a sideways glance at the little girl.  _And hers is weaker even than mine – that explains why I would feel the need to apologize for looking at her… because it is an implication of intent to harm._

She realized suddenly that Bella was looking up at her expectantly.  "What do you need?"

Bella grinned.  "Got to tuwn on the wato," she snorted, "siwwy."

Rei glanced down at the sink, nodding in understanding as she noticed that the girl's hands barely reached the basin – and the knobs for the faucet were well outside of her range.  "There," she whispered, turning the hot and cold taps on and running a finger absently under the spout until she felt that the water coming out would not burn the girl.

"Hewp me," Bella said after a moment, looking back over her shoulder at Rei as she bounced on her heels, "can't weach it."

"I…" Rei trailed off, assessing the situation.

_She still cannot reach._

"Wift me," Bella directed, "Rei, wift me up."

Grimacing faintly, Rei reluctantly stooped and wrapped her hands around Bella's waist.  _This is inappropriate,_ she thought darkly, lifting the girl up to wash her hands, _I am not a family member.  It is not proper for me to touch her like this._

As soon as she could, she set Bella back on the floor, handing her a small towel from the rack by the door and waiting politely until she had dried her hands.  "What is it now?" she asked as Bella simply stood still, making no move to leave the bathroom.

"Fanqu, Rei."

Abruptly, and for no reason she could understand, Rei found her cheeks flushing with color.  She tried to say, 'you are welcome,' but the longer she stared into the little girl's openly adoring eyes, the harder it became to speak, until finally… she simply nodded and turned around, opening the door and heading out towards the living room.

_What is wrong with me?_ Rei thought, kneeling in the living room and opening the small bag marked 'Bella's clothes,' that was sitting by the couch.  _The Commander was right… I AM losing my focus._

The idea, quite simply, was horrifying.  For her entire life, Rei had been raised to understand that EVA was her one and only duty.  Certainly, she was required to be civil to others, and to at least make a token effort to complete her schoolwork, but when all was said and done – EVA was the reason she lived and breathed, and everything else was secondary.

_I understand your order, Commander,_ she thought grimly, reaching into the bag and pulling out a clean shirt for the little girl, _I am concentrating too much on her wellbeing, and…_

She let the thought trail off as the nagging question of 'why' resurfaced in her mind.

"Cayons aw on the taybo."

"Right."

_Perhaps Doctor Akagi can assist me,_ Rei thought as she gathered up the crayons and a small stack of scratch paper.  _She is older than me,_ she reasoned as she followed Bella towards the kitchen, _she may be able to help me understand wh-_

"Oh, hi Rei."

Rei came up short.  "Ikari, Captain Katsuragi," she exclaimed, "I did not hear you come in."

Shinji was just sitting down in one of the kitchen chairs, resting his head on his folded arms.  "Sorry, Ayanami," he groaned tiredly, "we just walked in."

"I've gotta go back," Misato grumped, moving quickly around the room and gathering the supplies for an on-the-fly meal, "damn reports – damn it, where's the soy sauce!?"

Rei watched curiously as the captain raced frenetically from the cupboard, to the sink, to the microwave, whipping together a cup of noodles faster than anyone the First had seen before.  _Impressive…_

"Heow, Meesto."

The captain came up short as Bella offered her a small bottle of soy sauce.  "Thank you, honey," she said, clearly taking great strides to calm herself in front of the little girl.  "Can you find me a fork, too?  Thank you."

"Captain," Rei said coolly, raising her voice a bit to be heard over the hum of the microwave, "there is a message for you on your answering machine."

Misato yanked the door of the microwave open and pulled the small Styrofoam cup out, glancing into it with a mumbled, 'good enough,' before turning to Rei.  "Was it from NERV?"

Rei shook her head.  "No, but-"

"Then it'll have to wait," Misato cut in, dumping a large amount of soy into the cup and grabbing the plastic fork Bella offered her with a quick smile.  "Thanks honey.  Ok, I'm out of here – I'll give you a ride home when I get back, ok Rei?  Later!"

"But-"

Rei sighed softly as the purple-haired woman raced out the door.

"Who was it?" Shinji asked curiously.  "Was it Hikari?  She said she would bring dinner over, but it's only four-thirty… did she call to say she can't make it, or something?"

"No," Rei said quietly, "it was not Miss Horaki."

"Then who…?"

Silently, the First Child walked over to the answering machine and pushed the button, returning to her seat and watching Shinji's face as he listened to the officer's message.  "What will you do now?" she asked softly, allowing Bella to climb up on her lap and arrange the paper in front of her on the table as Shinji shriveled in his seat and clenched his eyes tightly closed.

"I don't know," the boy admitted, unable to face either of the girls as the answering machine's timestamp announced that the message had come in at 2:22. "I… don't think Misato will let me keep her on my own, so… I don't know."

For a long moment, the only sound in the apartment was the soft scribbling of Bella's crayons on the paper as she drew, blissfully unaware that her future was being decided right in front of her.  She hummed under her breath, scooting further back against Rei's chest and yawning expansively before rubbing her eyes and changing from a red crayon to a blue one.

"Do you think…?"

Rei kept her eyes on Shinji's face, letting his aborted question go unaddressed.  Did she think she could run away with Shinji and raise Bella together?  No.  Did she think she could take Bella on her own?  No.  Did she think Misato would change her mind?  No.  Did she think that Bella would be ok once she was forced back into the unfeeling world of underpaid adoption agents and overfilled halfway houses?  …no.

"Theyo," Bella declared, setting her crayon down with an air of pride and holding the picture up for Rei to see.  "Theyos you, an Shinchee."

Rei glanced at the crude image for a moment, then lifted her gaze to meet Shinji's damp, pleading eyes.  _It is… beyond my reach, Ikari,_ she thought, shaking her head minutely, _I have been ordered not to assist you… and I am not skilled in childcare, so I would not be of use even if I were able to._

"It's very nice, Bella," Shinji managed, wiping quickly at his eyes, "very… it's very nice…"

"Why Shinchee cryin'?" Bella asked, twisting on Rei's lap to look up at the girl.  "Huwt?"

"No," Rei replied calmly, nodding as Shinji excused himself, "Shinji is sad."

"Why?"

Rei considered her reply carefully.  "Because he cannot be what he feels he must," she said finally, "and he is afraid of what will happen as a result."

"I won't-" Shinji cut himself off, inhaling sharply through his teeth in an effort to maintain his composure.  "I won't let her be stuffed in some stupid home, Ayanami – I won't!"

"I see," Rei said noncommittally as Bella leaned forward and started drawing again.

Deflated by her lack of reaction, Shinji slumped back, picking up one of Bella's crayons and running it idly across a piece of paper, sketching a rough, midnight blue half-moon.

"Help me…"

Rei lowered her eyes to Bella's current drawing.  "Ikari," she said softly, "I cannot-"

"Tell me what I should do," Shinji whispered, setting the crayon carefully on the table and studying the picture with intense interest – as if focusing on the simple lines and bright color could somehow help him avoid thinking about what he was saying.  "Tell me, Ayanami… tell me how I'm supposed to just smile at her and wave goodbye and let Misato take her away to some place they _won't_ care for her.  She's not Nihonjin, Ayanami – they'll ignore her, or worse!  And she doesn't deserve it anyway… she's already lost so much.  Tell me how I can keep her from losing more… please…"

Silence fell as Bella leaned back against Rei and held up her drawing, proudly displaying an image of her between two taller figures.  One of the figures had a bunch of brown lines for hair and dark blue dots in the middle of its smiling face, whereas the other was done in shades of blue and red, and seemed to be currently mirthless.

Each of the taller figures held one of Bella's hands.

Shinji stared at the picture with an oddly excited expression, but before he could speak, Rei whispered, "No, Ikari."

"But it might work," Shinji said, leaning forward in his seat with a look so intense it bordered on madness, "it might work, right Ayanami?"

"It might," Rei conceded reluctantly, "But I cannot-"

"I know… but… but someone might…"

Rei nodded her understanding as Shinji nearly shot to his feet and grabbed the cordless phone, dialing at he stepped into the living room.  _I envy you your intensity, Ikari,_ she thought, unconsciously shifting her weight to keep Bella from falling as the girl suddenly leaned forward and grabbed Shinji's picture, picking up a crayon to add to it.  _Yes, your solution may prevent her from being placed in foster care, but what of your own youth, Ikari?  What of your duties?_

She closed her eyes as Shinji's voice reached her, asking for a certain person to be placed on the other end of the line.

_Look before you leap, Ikari-kun… you might not like what you find when you land._

"Hey, Hikari?  …I need to talk to you about something."

The End

Author's Notes: this marks the end of 3.  Before anyone gets upset by the lack of a definitive resolution to Bella's plight, be aware that there will be a sequel forthcoming. 

3 was not pre-read.  All the mistakes in it are mine and mine alone.

Feedback is always welcome on any website with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing me directly at random1377@yahoo.com  

Thanks for reading. 


	6. 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion – Studio Gainax does.  If they have a problem with me writing this non-profit fan-fiction, I will gladly remove it from the web.  

2

1

By Random1377

For what felt like the hundredth time, Shinji wiped his left hand on the leg of his pants, trying to wipe away the accumulating sweat.  _Any minute now,_ he told himself, stealing a glance at the other three occupants of the kitchen with a nervous, sickly smile, _she'll be home any minute now…_

The she in question – his guardian, Misato – had called twenty minutes prior to let him know she was on the way and to have a beer waiting for her arrival.

The beer was there… but so was the topic that Shinji had to discuss with the woman.  Both of them were waiting patiently in the kitchen, dripping with perspiration.

_I never thought I'd identify with a can of beer,_ the young man thought, wiping his hand again, _at least Ayanami looks cool._

As if in response to his thought, Rei looked up from the drawing she was being shown and inclined her head slightly in Shinji's direction.  

"She is here."

"Ready?" Shinji asked tensely.

Looking to his right, he met the reluctant eyes of his accomplice in this task – his class representative, Hikari Horaki.  "Ready as I'll ever be," the girl said nervously, giving his right hand – currently held in her left one – a tentative squeeze.  "Don't worry… we'll make her see…"

"Hope so," Shinji muttered.

After a moment of waiting, the front door slid open, then closed, and Misato made her way into the kitchen with a weary sigh.  It was a testament to her tiredness, Shinji thought, that she offered no comment on finding him holding hands with Hikari as Rei and Bella sat at the table, drawing pictures.  The woman simply walked over to the table, picked up her beer, and upended it, draining half its contents in one long swallow.

"Ahhh…" she sighed, setting the can carefully on the table and shrugging off her jacket.  "Now then – what the hell is going on?"

_So much for being tired,_ Shinji thought ruefully.  "We need to talk to you about something."

Misato glanced around the room.  "All of you?" she quipped, dropping into one of the chairs around the kitchen table.

"Well, just the two of us," Hikari said softly, "Ayanami and Bella can hear, though."

"Huh," Misato grunted, reclaiming her beer can, "well, fine… I guess I'm not going to get to bed until you get whatever's on your chest off of it, so speak up."

Very slowly, Shinji reached over and pushed the Play button on the answering machine.  In silence, the group in the kitchen listened to the message left by the police officer in charge of Bella's case.  When it was done, Shinji replayed it, carefully hitting Stop when it reached the part about him taking custody of Bella… if he was married.

Misato shook her head.  "Not a chance," she said flatly, "for one thing, your father will _never_ approv-"

"He already has," Shinji cut in quickly, "I called him when you were out."

"_You_ spoke to your father?" the woman snorted, folding her arms and giving him a sardonic smile, "you'll have to forgive me if I'm a little skeptical, Shinji, but-"

"It's true," Hikari spoke up, "I listened to him, and… and so did Rei."

All eyes turned to the quiet, blue-haired girl, and for the first time in his life, Shinji REALLY understood what desperation was.  _PLEASE,_ he thought as hard as he could, wishing he could reach into his mind and literally throw the idea at her, _please, Ayanami – I'll never ask you for anything ever again, I swear!!_

"Well?" Misato asked as the First calmly returned her stare.

Rei shifted in her seat, gently pulling Bella's shoulder as the little girl suddenly reached out to grab a different crayon and letting the silence spool out for nearly a full minute before giving her quiet reply.

"Ikari would not lie."

Shinji nearly melted with gratitude.

Misato's hand unconsciously flexed, half crushing the can in her hand before she could stop herself.

"We figured that we can rotate our schedules,"  Hikari said quickly, nervously eying the crinkled aluminum in the captain's hand, "that way, one of us will always be home with her, and-"

"And you'll both flunk out of school," Misato interrupted, "an excellent plan, Miss Horaki – you've definitely thought this through."

Hikari blushed, unable to meet the older woman's eyes.

Sensing that the girl's resolution was wavering, Shinji stepped in.  "We can make it work," he said firmly, "Miss Horaki's father said he has no problems with this, and-"

"He's very liberal," Hikari cut in, nearly babbling as Misato continued to stare at her, "and he knows it's for a good cause, and that it's probably only a few months, or a year, or however long it takes to work something else out and… and… ummm…"

"So," Shinji licked his lips as Hikari trailed off into incoherent mumbling, "I called the officer, and he said if we really are married, he's sure there won't be any problems with Bella staying here for a while, and he… he's coming in the morning to… to check our records…"

Very slowly, Misato raised her can of beer and closed her eyes, finishing the entire can and setting it carefully on the table.  The two teens flinched as she abruptly brought her fist down on the can, smashing it into a flat, irregular disk, her nostrils flaring as her irritation punched easily through the façade of calm she was trying so desperately to maintain.

"I never knew you were this selfish," she said coldly, staring straight into Shinji's eyes.  "You say you're doing this for her… well, Shinji, I'd love to believe that.  Wait," she raised a hand as Shinji started to talk, "I also had no idea you were this… determined, and it's pretty obvious you're not backing down, so here's the deal."  She looked from Hikari to Shinji for a moment before turning her attention to Bella and whispering, "I'll go with this – for now… but if it looks like you're slipping, especially at NERV, I'll call the whole damn thing off, do you understand?  It's all well and good to want to help people, Shinji – just keep in mind why we're all here.  If you fail in your duties it won't matter if you quit school and dress up in pink chiffon, singing her lullabies until your voice is raw… we'll all be dead, including her.  So remember what we're all trying to do and… and I'll back you on this…"

"Thank you, ma'am," Shinji said formally, bowing at the waist.  "I won't let you down."

_It's so easy to forget what he does,_ Hikari thought, grimacing slightly as she realized that their joined hands were nearly dripping with sweat, _I'll be the one doing most of the work… God, I hope I can actually DO this!_

"Look," Misato said, rubbing her eyes as she felt a headache coming on, "NERV has a lot of resources, but even if your father's ok with this, the best I can do is pull a few strings and get the marriage certificate backdated in the computer systems… and that means there has to be a marriage certificate to work with – you understand that, right?  And that officer – Kokobunji – is going to come to check your records _tomorrow_.  That doesn't leave a lot of time, or options.  If you're really going to do this… you better get moving."

Shinji and Hikari nodded.  "Yes, ma'am," Hikari said quietly, "there's… there's an all night chapel not too far from where I live."

For the first time since her arrival, Misato managed a small smile.  "Why do you know that, Miss Horaki?"  She chuckled, shaking her head as Hikari stammered something about passing it one day on the way to school.  "I must be insane," she lamented quietly, "but if the Commander said it was ok, I guess… I guess I understand why you guys would want to."

All eyes fell to the little girl perched on Rei's lap, but she continued working on her picture, entirely oblivious to the conversation taking place.

"This won't be easy you know," Misato whispered, looking from Shinji to Hikari before averting her gaze, "where will you live?  How will you get by?  Do you really think you can balance school and everything else?  God, why am I wasting my breath…"

"I can support us," Shinji said, sounding very uncertain as his guardian pushed away from the table and went to the fridge to collect another beer.  "My… my pilot's salary is enough to get us by.  We'll get an apartment… I guess… it'll work out."

Misato slowly closed the fridge, keeping her back to the teens as she spoke.  "You have no idea what you're getting into, Shinji," she whispered, "this isn't something you can do halfway. You guys can stay here for two weeks," she said levelly, popping the can of beer open but hesitating before drinking. "But, Shinji… you know I have duties I have to fulfill.  There's no way I can let another two people – one of them a little girl – be here all the time.  I just can't be responsible for _every_thing. You know that… right?"

Shinji nodded slowly, and then gave the woman another deep, formal bow.  "I understand," he said hollowly, "two weeks."

The operations director nodded, her hand trembling as she brought the can up to her lips.

"Two weeks…"

**

Hikari looked around, taking in the wedding chapel's cheap décor and trying to relax as Shinji hunched down further in the seat next to her, his right hand pressing tightly against his stomach in a clear attempt to keep whatever remained of his dinner from coming back up.

"So," she said, trying to break the uncomfortable silence, "here we are…"

"Uh huh," Shinji nodded, glancing towards the chapel's bathroom – a place he had already become quite familiar with.  "Guess so."

"Really gonna do this, aren't we?" Hikari asked quietly, wondering how someone could go from iron-clad determination to kicked-puppy weakness in the space of a fifteen minute drive.

_I guess I can't blame him,_ she thought, sighing as Shinji mumbled a weak affirmative, _that woman's car was colder than my freezer – and the air conditioning wasn't even on, if you know what I mean._

"It will be just one more minute," the round-faced receptionist said warmly, shuffling papers around on her desk and trying to look busy.  "Relax – everyone gets the jitters right before they go in.  You'll be fine."

"Thanks," Hikari said politely, shaking her head as Shinji abruptly stood up and hurried into the bathroom.  "He's… just a little nervous," she said awkwardly.

"Don't think nothing of it, honey," the woman chuckled, "we once had a ceremony _in_ the bathroom because the groom was… well, like you said – a little nervous.  Oh, I just heard the reverend knock.  He's ready for you."

Hikari gave her a sickly smile as the bathroom door opened and Shinji reemerged, a light sheen of sweat covering his face as he grimaced with distaste.  "Darling," she said, making him jump, "it's… it's time."

"R-right," Shinji nodded, turning slightly green.  "Let's go… d-dear."

Misato had recommended using words like that as practice.  _"Look,"_ she had told them as they drove to the chapel, _"when that police officer comes by, he's going to expect to find a married couple waiting for him, do you understand?  He wants Bella to be happy as much as you do… but he's still got a job to do.  If he thinks for one second that we're all trying to make a fool of him – which, by the way, we are, if you think about it – he'll never let her stay… so you might as well start practicing for his visit."_

Taking Shinji's shaking hand in hers, Hikari led him towards the inner chapel.  "Relax," she whispered tensely, "think about Bella."

Shinji swallowed.  "Right," he said once more, clasping her hand gratefully, "Bella… this is all for Bella."

They approached the door to the inner chapel, taking deep, calming breaths as they walked.  _Man,_ Hikari thought suddenly, _I wonder what Suzuhara would say if he could see us. _She blushed – as she always did when she thought of Touji – and rolled her shoulders to try to loosen them.  _He probably wouldn't care about me… but he's gonna ride Shinji like crazy.  Poor guy…_

The secretary smiled, murmuring, "Good luck," as she pushed the doors to the inner chapel open and ushered them in.

They stepped into the brightly lit room, flinching slightly as the doors boomed shut behind them, sounding a little too much like a coffin lid slamming shut for Hikari's tastes.

"Dearly beloved," the reverend said grandly, spreading his arms wide, "we are gathered here today to… oh, it's just the two of you.  Well, you'll have to pardon me if I don't give you the whole show – I was napping when you showed up, so I'm a little out of it."  He stepped behind the alter.  "Well, come on, let's get you two married."

Blinking, the teens cautiously approached him.  "Is, umm… is this it?" Hikari asked hesitantly.

"What were you expecting?" the reverend asked, covering a yawn with the back of his hand, "rows of flowers?  An organist?  I've got rice, but I usually save that for after the ceremony."  He shrugged, putting his hands on the alter and yawning expansively.  "We may not look like much, but our marriages are fully state-sanctioned, and we never rush the 'I dos.'  Now," he looked down at a sheet of paper on the alter.  "You are Mister Ikari, and you are Miss Horaki, correct?  Or is it the other way around?  Sometimes my secretary, Miss Satsuma, gets a little confused."

"I'm… Miss Horaki," Hikari said softly.

"Not for long!" the reverend said jovially, clapping his hands together.  "Do you have rings?  The deluxe package does include some simple bands, but some people prefer using their own."

"We'll take the ones you have," Shinji said queasily, "can we get on with it?"

"Yes, yes," the man said, "I can see that you're in a hurry, so I'll use the short version… and you can get your rings from Miss Satsuma on the way out – she has every size."  He cleared his throat and straightened his back.  "Do you, Shinji Ikari, take…"

Hikari tuned out, glancing at Shinji from the corner of her eye as the man recited the classic, Western vow of marriage.  _Are we doing the right thing?_ she thought nervously, swallowing with some difficulty.  _Just… just don't think about it.  If you think about it, you'll-_

"I do."

_Oh God…_

"And do you," the reverend said, turning to face the girl, "Hikari Horaki, take Shinji Ikari to be your lawfully wedded husband?  To have and to hold – in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to love, honor, and obey, until death do you part?"

Hikari's mouth moved, but no sound came out.  _I'm about to get married,_ she thought, panicking, _I… I can't do it!  I'll never date!  I'll never kiss anyone else!  I'll… I'll be married!  I can't!  I CAN'T!!  I-_

"Hikari…?"

The reverend smiled indulgently as Shinji squeezed the girl's hand.  "Take your time, miss," he said kindly.

_Bella, _Hikari thought desperately, _this is for Bella.  That poor little girl will be shoved into a foster home if I don't do this – and I know what those places are like, you see them all the time in movies… so just do it!  Just say, I do… I do… that's all I have to say – just I do… I do… I do…_

"…I do."

"Excellent!" the reverend boomed, making Hikari jump.  "I now pronounce you Husband and Wife."

_That wasn't so bad,_ Hikari thought, feeling inexplicably relieved, _I just-_

"You may kiss the bride."

Shinji and Hikari both lowered their eyes, their cheeks coloring bright red.  _Forgot that part, didn't you?_ Hikari thought, wetting her lips uncertainly.  _Who ever thought I'd get my first kiss from IKARI?_  She smiled a bit sickly as the boy took a deep breath and put his hands on her waist.  _Well… here goes… I guess…_

She closed her eyes, trying not to fidget as the young man leaned closer, but she opened them again almost immediately as she felt his lips gently press against her forehead.  She looked at him in surprise as he pulled back, smiling apologetically as he mouthed, 'sorry.'

"Ahem," the reverend cleared his throat, "well, congratulations."

Shinji bowed.  "Sorry to have woken you, sir."

"No, no," the man waved one hand, looking bemusedly from one teen to the other, "I'm always glad to help young people in… love."

Hikari averted her eyes.  _He knows,_ she thought with a stab of fear, _he knows this is just a front._

But the reverend simply bowed to them and laid a hand on each of their shoulders.  "Best of luck to you," he said warmly.  "Pardon my rudeness, but…"

_Here it comes,_ Hikari and Shinji thought at the same time, bracing themselves for the inevitable question of why they were REALLY there.

"…would you take an old man's advice?"

The two youths blinked.  "S-sure," Shinji stammered, wishing he could look away from the man's bright, watchful eyes.

"Whatever your…circumstances," the man said delicately, "please try to remember that you _are_ husband and wife now, alright?  That means that the little bit about 'for better or worse' still applies."  His eyes twinkled merrily as he concluded, "So for as long as you both shall live – regardless of what the world brings you – do your best to be good to one another."

"Yes sir," Shinji said quietly, giving the man a deep, respectful bow, "we will."

"Thank you," the reverend nodded approvingly, "goodnight, Mister and Misses Ikari."

**

"Well," Shinji sighed, dropping onto the couch at Hikari's side, "here we are…"

"Yeah," Hikari murmured, rubbing her eyes for a moment before glancing at the small suitcase she had picked up from home on the way back from the wedding chapel.  "Here we are."

They stared into space for several minutes, searching for something to say.

"I'm surprised Ayanami stayed to watch Bella for us," Hikari said finally, "she's been really quiet the last week – like, more than usual… I didn't think she'd go for it when Miss Katsuragi asked her to hang out for a while so she could drive us."

"You know," Shinji said thoughtfully, "I didn't think she would either… but I guess she knew it was important to us."

_Us,_ he thought wearily, glancing down at the cheap gold band on his left ring finger, _important to Mister and Misses Ikari.  Mister Ikari… Father… what will he say when he finds out?  He'll be mad… won't he…?_

"So Miss Katsuragi will have the record changed first thing in the morning?" Hikari asked, refusing to let silence steal over them.  "She's really nice when she wants to be, huh?"

 "Yeah," Shinji agreed, glancing around the apartment and noticing for the first time just how small it was.  "She's great… when she's being nice."

"Yeah…"

In spite of their efforts, silence somehow managed to fill the space between the newly married couple, swallowing the echoes of their uneasy conversation in a matter of seconds.  They fidgeted, plucking absently at their clothes and looking everywhere but at each other as the quiet stretched on and on.

_I read somewhere that people get nervous on their wedding night,_ Shinji thought ironically, _but I don't think this is what they meant…_

These thoughts lead him to another, and he took a deep breath, forcing himself to say, "W-we should get in bed…"

"What?" Hikari blinked, unconsciously edging away from the boy.

Shinji paled.  "Not… that's not what I meant," he said quickly, shaking his head for emphasis.  "I mean… we should figure out where we're sleeping, that's all.  I wasn't…"

Hikari relaxed as Shinji trailed off.  "Oh, right," she laughed nervously, putting a hand on her cheek to hide the rising flush there.  "Well, umm… I guess… I'll sleep on the cou-"

"No way," Shinji interrupted, "you can have the bed, and I'll sleep on the couch."

"But that's not fair," Hikari protested, "this is YOUR house, Ikari, I-"

"Shinji."

"Huh?"

"You should call me Shinji," he said softly, "at least until after the police officer's gone."

Hikari averted her eyes.  "Sorry," she whispered.  "I guess… I'm Ikari now too, huh…"

Shinji nodded.  "And… this is your house," he said slowly, "for two weeks, anyway, then…"

"Then we get our own place," Hikari concluded, sighing deeply.  

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Hikari yawned.  "I said 'I do,' didn't I?  I could have just left."

"Well, thanks for doing it," Shinji said.

Hikari rose to her feet and stretched.  "Sure," she shrugged, "well, umm… I'll sleep in your bed tonight, and then the couch tomorrow, ok?  No," she said quickly, holding up a hand as Shinji opened his mouth to argue, "We're in this together, like that priest said… for better or worse – so we'll share, ok?  Besides," she managed a weak smile, "your bed looks kind of hard… maybe I'll like the couch better anyway."

"Maybe," Shinji replied doubtfully.

"Bella and the Captain should be home soon," Hikari pointed out, dropping back onto the couch and folding her arms as she stared into space, "we should… stay up until they get here.  She'll probably want to talk to us…"

Shinji closed his eyes, suppressing a shiver as he realized she probably would.

Continued…

Author's notes:  I decided to keep this posted with _3_ to avoid confusion and maintain continuity.

2 is not being pre-read.

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing random1377@yahoo.com  


	7. 2

Disclaimer: see 1 for disclaimer.

2

2

By Random1377

Hikari lay very still, staring up at Shinji's ceiling and listening to the sounds coming from the living room.  From there, it sounded as if a gang of wildly obnoxious pixies had overtaken the house, their shrill voices cutting through the entire apartment and driving aural nails into the minds of anyone unfortunate to be within hearing distance.

It was the sound of fear.  It was the sound of madness.  It was the sound of…

"Teletubbies."

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as Bella's delighted laugh echoed through the house.  _What was I thinking?_ she asked herself, slowly reaching over with her right hand and running her forefinger over the smooth metal on her left ring finger.  _Miss Katsuragi's getting the records changed right now, but last night she said she wasn't sure they'd buy it._

Hikari bit her lip, opening her eyes and taking a deep breath as a wave of shame washed over her.

Maybe this would all be over today.  If the police officer did not believe that she and Shinji had been married for a month – as the records would indicate when Miss Katsuragi was done with them – then she could just go home.  She'd done everything she could, hadn't she?  Sure she had!  She doubted that ninety-five percent of the girls in her class would have gone as far as she had.  Who knows?  By the end of the day she could be in her own bed, with-

"Stop that," she admonished herself, bringing her left hand up into her field of vision and examining the ring in the faint light filtering through the blinds.  "You're being selfish, Hikari.  That little girl needs you right now, and so does Shinji.  You're not going to run away just because you're a little scared!"

_A little?_ she thought, finally throwing back the covers and swinging her legs out of bed.  _And scared isn't really the word, is it?  How about terrified?  How does that fit, hmm?_

"Oh shut up."

With a final sigh, Hikari rose to her feet and prepared to face her first day as Misses Ikari.

Fifteen minutes later found her showered, dressed, and feeling much more optimistic about life in general.  Shinji, she found, had breakfast waiting for her, and went to great lengths to make her feel comfortable – even going so far as to scramble to his feet as she came out of the bathroom and hurry to pull her chair away from the table so she could sit down.

"Thanks," she murmured, giving him a halfhearted smile as Bella came into the kitchen and climbed up into the chair opposite her.  "Good morning, Bella," she said brightly, "did you sleep well?"

Bella nodded, calmly standing up on the chair and reaching across the table to take a piece of toast off of Hikari's plate.

"Bella!" Shinji gasped, "That's rude!"

The little girl stared at him blankly for a minute.  "Wand it," she said simply, sitting back down and taking a bite of the toast without another word.

Vexed, Shinji stammered, "I-I'll make you more if you want it!  It's… don't take things off other people's plates!"

"It's ok Ik- Shinji…" Hikari said, smiling uncertainly at Bella as she stuffed half of the piece of bread into her mouth.  "Hey Bella, I'm… gonna stay with you guys a while, k?  So… let's be friends."

Bella blinked, looking from Shinji to Hikari, then back again.  "Rei awso?"

Hikari's smile faded a bit.

"No, honey," Shinji said gently.  "But… but me and Hikari will umm… be your mommy and daddy for a while, ok?"

Bella giggled.  "Shincee is not daddy," she snorted, "siwwy."

At a loss for words, Shinji mumbled something about getting some juice.  As he rattled around in the cupboards, Hikari cleared her throat.  "So, Bella," she said with forced brightness, "we're… a very important man's going to come by today, so… be a good girl, ok?"

_Stop staring at me like I'm stupid!_ she thought, finding herself annoyed as the little girl slowly munched on HER toast.  _I'm four times your age, I don't need you throwing me attit- oh man… get a grip, Hikari!  She's not trying to piss you off, she's three!_

"Officer Kokobunji said he'd be here around four," Shinji said, quietly setting a glass of juice in front of his wife.  "And Misato called about a half hour ago.  She said she was stopping at the store to pick up some groceries and then she'll be home."

"Ok," Hikari nodded, starting in on her breakfast as Bella slid out of her chair and bounced back into the living room.

_Why am I getting so mad?_ she thought uneasily, nodding as Shinji excused himself to go watch Bella.  _Maybe it's just nerves… but it just feels like she's trying to annoy me on purpose – and I know that's not right, she's just a little kid.  I really need to get it together.  No one said it would be easy…_

"We should figure out our schedule," Hikari called after several minutes of quiet.

"Ummm… ok," Shinji called back, "I have things to do at NERV on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday… oh, and sometimes Sunday and Monday, too."

Hikari frowned.  "That's… a lot," she said slowly, "how do you get all that done with Bella around here all the time?"

Shinji's voice was slightly ashamed as he replied, "Well… Misato's watched her a couple times for me, and if it's just training or paperwork or something, sometimes I just take her with.  So far it hasn't been that bad…"

Hikari's frown deepened.  _But now that I'm here, I'll be the one responsible…_ she thought grimly, _Welcome to adulthood._

"You have some after-school clubs, right?" Shinji called after a moment.

"Not anymore," Hikari muttered, shocked by the bitterness in her voice.

"What was that?  I didn't hear you."

Hikari flushed.  "N-nothing!"

She leaned back in her chair, trying to get her emotions under control.  _What's wrong with me?_ she thought, scrubbing a hand over her face.  _I just feel like I want to slap him for convincing me to do this.  I know it's not like, forever – he promised me it would only be for a little while, just to keep her from going into foster care long enough for that officer to find a good home for her… so why am I so mad??  I'm doing a good thing, right?  I know I'm not PMSing… I've still got a week and a half before I start, so what's the deal?_

Hikari straightened as Shinji came into the kitchen.  "Let me know what days you need to stay late at school," he said, forcing a smile.  "We'll… we'll work it out."

"Right," Hikari nodded, averting her eyes, "I'll… look at my schedule and see what days I absolutely can't miss."  She licked her lips, looking up at Shinji as he ran his hands idly over the back of one of the other chairs.  "So, umm… you don't think… it'll REALLY be a whole year, do you?"

Shinji's hands closed around the back of the chair.  "I don't… think so," he said hesitantly.  "I mean, Officer Kokobunji said he would do his best to find something more permanent for her… but… no, I don't think it'll be more than a year."

_I don't want to do this,_ Hikari thought suddenly, _I jumped in too fast, Shinji… don't hate me, ok?  Just…let me back out._

Though all of these thoughts whipped through her mind, Hikari managed to smile.  "We'll… do great, huh?" she said warmly.  "As long as she needs us, we'll make sure she's ok."

"Right," Shinji nodded, his hands slowly uncurling from their unconscious death-grip on the chair's back.  "I'm… gonna get her dressed.  She's still in her pajamas."

"K…"

As soon as he had gone, Hikari stood up and put her plate in the sink.  Slowly, she made her way into the bathroom and shut the door, running her hands through her hair and taking a deep, shaking breath.

"This won't be so bad," she told her reflection, wondering why she looked so pale.  "We're keeping her out of the foster homes… it won't be so bad… it's only a little while… it won't be so bad… she doesn't hate me… this won't… be… so… bad…"

After several more minutes of this odd mantra, Hikari took another deep, cleansing breath and began another.

"Hello," she whispered, smiling into the mirror, "I'm Hikari Ikari.  Hello… I'm Misses Shinji Ikari.  Hello… I'm Misses Ikari.  Hi, I'm Shinji's wife.  Hey, I'm… Misses… Ik… ari…"

When Shinji knocked on the door to ask if everything was ok, Hikari had to explain to him that the reason she had suddenly cried out was because she had stubbed her toe on the vanity.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Ok," Ritsuko Akagi's voice came over the entry plug's speakers, breaking Shinji's concentration, "you guys are done.  Shinji, Misato said she'll meet you in her office… she has a meeting to attend to."

Shinji leaned back in his seat and sighed, watching the bubbles this action caused drift up through the LCL.  _Finally,_ he thought, waiting for the connection liquid to drain so he could get out.  _I thought that would never end._

He started slightly as the Project-E director's voice piped up again.  "You did really well today, Shinji," the woman said approvingly, "you're up five points.  Well done."

"Umm, thanks," Shinji said weakly, blushing as he remembered the woman's coolly assessing stare upon hearing of his recent marriage.

They had told her as soon as they had arrived at NERV, and to her credit, Shinji thought, she had suppressed her shock very well – especially after she learned the reasons for the impromptu wedding.  _"I… admit that I'm surprised,"_ the blonde had murmured softly, _"but congratulations, Shinji.  I'm sure you'll be very happy."_

The LCL drained out of the plug in a rush, and Shinji climbed gratefully out.  "Hey Ayanami," he waved as Rei emerged from her plug.

"Hello, Ikari," Rei replied, making her way over to his side.

"We, umm… we got married last night."

"Yes," Rei nodded, "I was watching Bella."

"Oh, right," Shinji laughed nervously, sheepishly scratching his neck as they started walking towards the locker rooms.  "Thanks for doing that, by the way… it really saved us."

"You are welcome," the First murmured.  Then, to Shinji's surprise, she added, "The meeting with Kokobunji was… successful?"

"It was… really easy, actually," Shinji admitted, still marveling that the girl had continued a conversation of her own volition.  "He just wanted to see the marriage license, asked where we would be living, and said he would do his best to find something more permanent."  He shrugged awkwardly as another thought occurred to him.  "Thanks for… telling Misato you heard me talking to… to my father…"

Rei stopped short; staring down at the floor for a moment as Shinji took another step, then looked back over his shoulder, frowning uncertainly.  "I… you are… welcome."

Shinji's shoulders slumped.  "I'm sorry you had to lie for me," he whispered, keeping his eyes averted.  "I just… the idea of her in one of those… places – I just couldn't let that happen."  When he raised his eyes, he found Rei studying him closely.

"Have you ever been to one?" she asked softly, tilting her head to the side as he fumbled out that he had not.  "Nor have I," she murmured, "my only experience with foster care is what I have seen in the newspapers."

"So you… you think I made a mistake," Shinji mumbled, swallowing with some difficulty.  "You think I should have let the police handle it."

Rei began walking again, stepping past him and putting a hand on the locker room door.  "I did not say that," she whispered finally, glancing back over her shoulder as Shinji lifted his head to stare at her in confusion.  "…but I do not believe that I could have taken her in, had it been left to me."

With a slight nod, Rei stepped into the women's locker room, leaving Shinji alone in the hall.

_Was that… admiration?_ he thought, baffled by the girl's odd tone.  _No way… I must be imagining things…_

Shrugging the idea off Shinji went into the locker room, quickly showering and making his way to Misato's office.  "Huh…" he hummed, "where is she?"  After several minutes of waiting, he got up and wandered down the hall, hoping to bump into her on her way back from wherever she was.  "Excuse me," he said, bowing politely as he approached a work technician repairing one of the myriad overheard lights.  "Have you seen Captain Katsuragi, by any chance?"

"Katsuragi?" the tech grunted.  "Tall broad?  Purple hair?  Great set?"

Blinking, Shinji shuffled his feet.  "Ummm, yeah," he mumbled.  "That's her."

"Yeah, she went by here fifteen minutes ago… looked like she was headed towards the Commander's office."

"Thanks."

_Father's office?_ Shinji thought, hurrying down the corridor after giving the tech another quick bow.  _I hope it's… oh… oh no…_

Rounding the corner, he broke into a run, visions of Misato and his father arguing over his marriage flashing in his mind.  He paused as he neared his father's office, standing with his hands on his knees and trying to catch his breath.

"S-she didn't know," he whispered, unconsciously speaking his planned excuse, "I… I left a message for you, but it must not have gotten through… and I didn't really think you'd mind, so…"

_This is the WORST excuse ever,_ he thought grimly, making his way to his father's door and raising his hand to knock, _damn it… I was so caught up in thinking about Bella that I didn't even think I'd have to deal with-_

"…isn't the point," the voice of his father came through the door – open, Shinji noticed belatedly, just a crack.  "I simply find it hard to believe that you allowed yourself to buy into this fabrication, Captain.  If you are truly naïve enough to be taken in by the mechanizations of a fourteen year old, perhaps I should reconsider your value to this organization, wouldn't you agree?"

Shinji suppressed a groan.  _Damn it…_

"There were… others who confirmed that he spoke to you, sir," Misato's voice countered, sounding stressed.  "Again, I can only apologize for my lapse in judgment.  If you'd like, I can have the marriage annulled right away, and I can assure you that nothing like thi-"

"Captain," the Commander's voice cut in, sounding rather bored with the conversation.  "You're babbling."

"Sorry sir."

Shinji heard his father sigh.  "Captain," the man said quietly, forcing Shinji to strain his ears to pick up what was being said, "did you see the results of his sync test this afternoon?"

"Y-yes sir," Misato replied, sounding confused, "it was up by five points…but what-"

"Let me make this perfectly clear," Gendou interrupted once more, "because I do not want to be here all night while you figure it out for yourself."  There was a sound like fabric brushing leather, which Shinji assumed was his father leaning forward to link his hands in front of his face. "The Third Child's romantic, marital, even conjugal exploits are of absolutely _no_ concern to me.  I must say that his using my name to get what he wanted was… unexpected.  However, as long as his synchronization ratio remains high, and he is able to fight, what he does in his free time could not matter less."

There was a long moment of silence, broken when Misato whispered, "Understood."

"Excellent," Gendou said coolly.  "Now, I have just received word that the Second Child and Evangelion Unit 02 will be arriving tomorrow aboard the aircraft carrier _Over the Rainbow_.  I want you to take Shinji, and his… wife, if he wishes her to go, and retrieve the Second.  Inform him that he may bring another guest, if he so wishes, it really doesn't matter."

"Take Shinji?" Misato repeated.  "May I ask why, sir?  And aren't civilians prohibited from accessing military transports?  The Admiral won't like it…"

"That's just one more reason to do it," the Commander said dryly.  "As for why Shinji is going with… understanding your orders is not a prerequisite for fulfilling them.  Dismissed."

"Sir, there is a prob-"

"Ahh yes," Gendou grumbled.  "The child."

"Yes sir," Misato confirmed, hesitating before adding, "I'm afraid… she's somewhat hard to deal with, if she does not know the person caring for her, sir, so if there was any way someone… familiar to her could assist in her care…"

There was another moment of silence.   "I see," the Commander muttered coolly, "very well… I will have Rei report to your apartment tomorrow at oh-six-thirty to assist.  Good day, Captain."

"Sir."

Realizing just how bad it would be to be found eavesdropping on his father, Shinji darted down the corridor and ran all the way back to Misato's office, his mind whirling with the things he had heard.  _The Second Child?__  Unit 02?  Ayanami?_  He sank down in Misato's office chair, panting for breath and shaking his head in confusion.  _Why not just have Hikari stay home to watch her?  That's… one of the reasons we did this.  I don't understand…_

"Hey."

Shinji looked up as Misato came into her office, her brown eyes watching him closely as she slid the door quietly closed and leaned against it.  "How was your meeting?" Shinji blurted, feeling like a ventriloquist's dummy as he offered her a big, false smile.

Misato pursed her lips.  "We have new orders," she said abruptly, "we need to get home."

"Right," Shinji said, his shoulders slumping.  Slowly, he rose to his feet and stepped through the door as Misato moved out of his way.

"Shinji."

"Hmm?"

Shinji's knees felt weak as Misato put a hand on his shoulder and whispered, "I'm sorry I came down on you so hard yesterday.  I know you think you're doing what's right, I just… I'm sorry, ok?"

"Yeah," Shinji nodded, giving her a much more honest smile.  "And thanks…"

"For what?"

"Everything."

Before the woman could reply, Shinji gave her a quick, awkward bow and hurried out of the room.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hikari raised her head as she heard the wonderful sound of Shinji calling, "We're home."

_Thank GOD!_

"We're in the living room," she answered, closing the magazine she had been reading and rising to her feet.  "Come on, Bella, let's go say hi."

Bella nodded, sucking a little harder on her thumb as she slid off the chair Hikari had placed her in forty minutes prior.

_Well I had to clean up,_ Hikari thought guiltily as they made their way into the kitchen.  _And she just kept getting in the way._

"Hey," she sighed, relief obvious in her tone as Bella walked over to stand by Shinji's leg, absently taking his hand in hers as Misato excused herself and went to her bedroom, a very dark expression on her face.  "I made some dinner, but it's gotten a little cold, so… what's wrong?"

Shinji was frowning down at Bella.  "Did something happen?" he asked, sounding slightly baffled, "she's never held my hand on her own before… and wasn't she wearing the blue dress when we left?"

Hikari folded her arms, frowning slightly and looking down at the little girl.  "Would you like to tell Shinji what happened, Bella?" she asked levelly.  When Bella just stared at her, Hikari sighed, "She got wet.  I was making dinner and she said she had to use the bathroom, so I told her to go… but she just kept standing there and telling me she had to go."  She shrugged uncomfortably.  "So, I don't know… she just… got wet."

"Did you go with her?" Shinji asked, reaching down with his free hand to pat Bella on the head.

"Why would I?" Hikari asked, confused, "She said she knew where it was… and I was cooking."

Shinji bit his lip.  "Well, she usually asks you to go with her," he said slowly.

_Is THAT what she was saying?_ Hikari thought, her frown deepening as she assessed the little girl. _She kept saying she had to go, and mumbling something else – but she's so damn hard to understand sometimes!  God, this is hard… how was I supposed to know I had to go with her??_

She cleared her throat.  "Well, she'll need to learn to go by herself," she said calmly, "when my little sister Nozomi was three, she wouldn't go anywhere without this raggedy little stuffed bear.  It got all nasty and gross smelling until my dad finally told her she just couldn't have it anymore."  She chuckled softly.  "He said it was a biohazard, and she cried for a couple days, but she got over it.  This is the same kind of thing.  We can't keep spoiling her you know – she'll have to figure out how to go on her own sometime."

Shinji averted his eyes.  "I… I guess you're right," he mumbled uncomfortably.  "You know more about kids than I do, so-"

"Ha!" Hikari laughed.  "I have a little sister, so I know _some_ stuff… but I'm not like, a professional babysitter or anything."  Her brow creased slightly. "Is that why you asked me to do this, Shinji?  Because you thought I-"

"No," Shinji cut in quickly, shaking his head for emphasis, "I… you just seemed to like Bella, and I really… I just thought the two of us could keep something bad from happening to her, you know?

Hikari nodded, her brow clearing as Bella looked away from her.  "I know," she said, forcing her voice to be light, "I just… as long as it's not forever."

"It won't be," Shinji assured her quickly.  "So, umm… we've… got to go on a trip for NERV, and…"

"And I have to stay here with Bella, right?" Hikari asked, her voice cooling considerably as Shinji trailed off.

Shinji managed a smile.  "No, actually," he said, smiling weakly as he outlined the planned trip to get the newest pilot for NERV.  "…so I was thinking Kensuke would like that kind of thing," he concluded, "He likes military stuff."

"Well," Hikari said slowly, "I… I think Suzuhara does too, and I'll bet he'd like a little getaway – I heard he's having some problems at home, you know, with his dad and his sister and everything."

"Oh," Shinji mumbled awkwardly, "his sister… right."

_What are you doing?_ Hikari thought as the young man shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.  _Inviting the guy you've got a crush on to go on a trip with you and your 'husband'?  How tacky is that?  You're a married woman, now, you know, and-_

"Oh shut up…"

Shinji blinked.  "Huh?"

Hikari blinked, realizing that she'd spoken out loud.  "Nothing," she said, rubbing the bridge of her nose tiredly, "I was just thinking about something else."

Shinji nodded, and they fell into an uncomfortable silence.  After a few moments, the young man laughed weakly.

"What is it?" Hikari wondered.

"I was just thinking," Shinji said, a faint tinge of red gracing his cheeks as Bella finally pulled her thumb out of her mouth and let go of his hand, wandering over to the table and grabbing a crayon and some paper.  "This can be kind of… kind of like a honeymoon…"

Hikari tried to relax.  "I guess it can," she said gently, catching herself before she could remind him not to expect the kind of benefits a REAL honeymoon would bring.  "So who's going to watch Bella?"

_Like I need to ask,_ she thought, rolling her eyes as Bella set the blue crayon down and picked up the red.  _There's only one person he COULD leave her with…_

Though she knew exactly what was coming, Hikari still clenched her teeth tightly together as Shinji gave his reply.

Continued…

Author's notes: can't think of any, other than to say that I've uploaded this chapter 4 times to fanfiction.net and every time it has stripped out the symbols I use for scene breaks.  Here goes try number 5.  Think I'll try a minus sign this time

2 is not being pre-read.

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing random1377yahoo.com 


	8. 3

Disclaimer: see 1 for disclaimer.

2

3

By Random1377

"Hey, Shinji," a husky voice murmured in the Third Child's ear.  "Your wife can't find her panties, and your daughter wants cocopuffs."

For a moment, Shinji simply lay on the couch, feeling certain that his dream of quietly watching clouds go by with the pretty, dark haired girl he had seen on his way out of NERV the day before had somehow accelerated into the future, where the two of them were married and happily living in the suburbs.

This wonderfully quaint idea was quickly dispelled as the owner of the husky voice said, "Get the hell up!  We're going to be late!!"

Shinji groaned tiredly as Misato shook him (rather roughly, he thought) and yanked the blanket off of him.  "I'm… up…" he mumbled, forcing himself upright and rubbing his eyes as the woman blew out a disgusted breath.

"Cocopuffs," Misato said snappishly, "panties… get up.  God, I don't know what you'll do when you guys move out – you're hopeless!  And don't point that thing at me; I said YOU get up… pervert."

"Panties…?" Shinji echoed dumbly, squinting up at his guardian in confusion.  "Point… what?  What are you-"

"I found them," Hikari interjected, coming into the living room with a rather disagreeable frown on her face, the bulk of her concentration focused on the zipper attached to the pair of shorts she was trying to put on.  "Damn it, it's stuck… can you help me, Miss Katsuragi?  I can't get this stupid thing up!"

Misato opened her mouth to answer when a loud crash and a muttered 'ah-oh' came from the kitchen.  "Ask your husband," she said flatly, "I think Bella just decided she could get her own cereal."

Hikari sighed.  "Shinji," she said tiredly, nodding as Misato excused herself, "could you-"

Shinji frowned as she cut herself off, turning quickly away from him.  "What's wrong?" he asked, stretching languidly and swinging his legs off the couch.  "I…" he trailed off as he realized _exactly_ what Misato was saying a moment ago.

"GAH!!"

Hikari kept her eyes averted as Shinji grabbed the blanket and yanked it back over his legs.  "So," she said as levelly as she could, trying her best to ignore the bright flush on her cheeks, "can you, ummm… give me a hand here?"

"Sure," Shinji squeaked, thinking idly that it sure would be a nice gesture on Misato's part if she shot him just then.

_That's just perfect,_ he thought darkly as Hikari reluctantly edged just close enough for Shinji to reach her, looking very uncomfortable as he reached out and fumbled with her zipper.  _Not a good way to start the day… covers yanked off… usual morning… ummm… yeah – and two women standing right there to see.  PLUS, here I am, with my hands practically IN Hikari's pants, and… oh what's the use… just stop thinking about it, stupid!_

Shinji felt a strong wave of relief wash over him as Hikari's zipper finally relented and came unstuck, rising smoothly until it had closed all the way.  "There we go," he said brightly, forcing his hands not to shake as he pulled them away.  They stood there in silence for a moment as Hikari fastened the button and nodded to herself, looking around the small living room with an expression that nearly screamed 'why am I here, again??'

"Did you sleep ok?"

"Hmm?" Shinji leaned forward, surprised by the sudden question.

"We were supposed to trade last night, remember?" Hikari pointed out softly.  "That was the deal we worked out… but I just took your bed again.  I'm sorry…"

Shinji smiled.  "It's ok," he said warmly, "your head hurt, and Bella was up kind of late, so it wasn't like I could just leave you alone with her."

Hikari nodded, folding her arms and sitting on the opposite side of the couch.  "Well, thanks," she said quietly.  After a moment of silence she murmured, "Do you always let her stay up as late as she wants?"

"Hmm?  No," Shinji shook his head.  "She hasn't been here _that_ long really… but I've kind of tried to get her to bed by eight or eight thirty… but yesterday was so rough I thought I should just let her do what she wanted."

"That makes sense," Hikari admitted, frowning as another thought occurred to her.  "So does she actually go to bed at eight?  Or is that just when you start trying?"

Shinji coughed.  "Well, I, ummm…"

Hikari laughed.  "Thought so," she chuckled, "well she'll learn, I guess, so no big deal."

"I should check on her," Shinji observed, "it's too quiet in there.  I hope Misato doesn't have her like, stuffed in the fridge or something…"

"You might want to invest in some pants first," Hikari said offhandedly, carefully studying the backs of her hands as Shinji stood up.  "Just, you know – my advice."

Shinji managed a smile.  "What kind of… of husband would I be if I ignored my wife's advice?"

_IDIOT!!_ he thought as Hikari tensed, _You know she's been edgy since the 'wedding…' why did you go and say that!?_

Hikari took a deep, calming breath, looking up at Shinji with an awkward, forced smile.  "Well," she said slowly, "I… I _am_ your wife, right?"  She lowered her eyes again, nodding as she whispered – almost to herself, "So I should start acting like it."

They stayed quiet for several, painfully long moments before Shinji cleared his throat and mumbled, "You don't have to."

The girl closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head.  "No, Shinji," she said calmly, "I do.  For one thing, people will figure it out if we just treat each other like we did before – and if that happens, we'll be back to square one.  Plus…" she looked up at him, giving him an uncertain smile, "you _are _my friend, and… and I've been kind of a bitch since moving in.  You deserve better than that, especially from your wife – even if I am just a convenience for y-"

"You're not!" Shinji gasped, horrified – both by the idea that she thought of herself that way, AND the words flying from his mouth.  "You're not… just a convenience!  I… I like you, Hikari…"

"Thank you, Shinji," Hikari said gently, "I like you too… but really, if anyone else had been willing to do this, would I be sitting here right now?"

Shinji shuffled his feet.  "Maybe…" he whispered, unable to meet her eyes.

Hikari shook her head.  "You're sweet," she said quietly.  "I'll sleep on the couch tonight, ok?  And I'll try to act more like… like a wife. But you better hurry up and get dressed before Misato comes to find you."

Reluctantly, Shinji nodded and headed off to his bedroom to get dressed, feeling that he should try to convince her once again that he wanted her there… but finding himself unable to come up with any arguments that did not start with 'if it wasn't for you' or 'Bella.'

- - - - -

"REI!!"

Hikari shook her head as Bella greeted Rei in her usual manner – namely, slamming headlong into the blue-haired girl's stomach and knocking the wind from her.  "Good morning, Ayanami," she said levelly, "How are you?"

"I am well," Rei replied, calmly disentangling herself from Bella's arms, though allowing the girl to keep her right hand tightly clutched in hers.  "How are you, Misses Ikari?"

"Please just call me Hikari," the class rep asked softly, "at least for a couple days, ok?  I… need to get used to it."

Rei nodded.  "Understood."

Hikari motioned the girl in.  "She's already had breakfast," she said, nodding to Bella as the girl pulled Rei towards the living room.  "And Ik- Shinji rented a couple movies to keep her occupied."

_Look at that,_ she thought, pursing her lips as Bella jabbered animatedly to the calmly listening girl, _why does she like her so much?  Ayanami hardly says three words at a time to her, and she looks like she'd rather be home doing laundry than here!  …of course, she looks like that at school, too, so who knows._

"Ok," Misato came into the living room looking very irritated.  "Small problem."

"What's up?" Hikari asked.

"Shinji's friend… got lost."

"What??"

Misato barely suppressed a sigh.  "I guess he was tired or something, got off at the wrong train stop… and he's downtown at a payphone right now, because he didn't bring enough cash with him for another train ride – and he's in a bad mood because he lost his new hat, or something."  She shook her head.  "I swear… kids will be the death of me."

Hikari considered this for a moment.  "Where's Shinji?" she asked thoughtfully.  "Still in the shower?"

"Uh huh," Misato nodded, "and I've still got to shower, and my skirt is still in the dryer, and-"

"Shouldn't you have dried that last night?"

Misato threw her hands up.  "Oh, this coming from the girl that couldn't find her own underpants," she quipped, grabbing her purse off the coffee table, "look, here's ten bucks.  Go downtown, find Suzuhara, and bring him back.  We'll be ready to go when you get here, ok?  Think you can handle that, Misses Ikari?"

Hikari took the bill with a bland expression.  "You just love calling me that, don't you?" she asked coolly.

To her surprise, Misato shook her head.  "Hate it," she said smoothly, "but if I don't get used to it, I'll forget and call you Horaki in public.  And that would be bad, wouldn't it?"

_Wow,_ Hikari thought, slightly abashed, _she thinks just like me._

"He said he was at the corner of Ayoama and Forty-Fifth," Misato said briskly, "I told him to go to the closest train station and stay there, so… think you can find him?"

"Yes ma'am!" Hikari said, snapping Misato a salute.  "I won't let you down!"

Misato chuckled, and in the brief silence that followed, Bella suddenly announced that, "Hikawi wost huw pandees."

Hikari met Rei's eyes for a moment as the girl glanced up at her.  "I see," Rei said finally, looking back to the show she had put on for Bella.  "She must be uncomfortable…"

Misato and Hikari exchanged glances.  _She did NOT just say that!_ Hikari thought incredulously as Misato shrugged and headed into her room.

"I _did_ find them, you know," she said dryly, reminding herself that the enigmatic blue-haired girl was most likely being entirely serious in her observation.

Rei simply nodded.

_Great,_ Hikari thought, _I get firsthand knowledge on the question 'does Shinji prefer boxers or briefs,' and now I'm getting heckled by the silent wonder – what a way to start the day._  She started for the door, but came up short as she noticed something about the way Bella was sitting with Rei.  When they had watched movies the night before, Bella had bounced all over the place, making noise along with the characters on screen and laughing out loud.

But with Rei, she just sat still, resting her head on Rei's shoulder and staring at the television with a faint, slightly happy smile.

_Spoiled little b-_

Hikari shoved the thought out of her mind, quickly exiting the apartment and making her way to the train station.  The train ride was short and uneventful, and Hikari made a point of keeping her mind on menial things to ensure that she did not have another meltdown like the day before.

"Can't believe I actually screamed," she muttered as she stepped off the train, "I just-"

She came up short.

_Is that…?  No, she couldn't have-_

"Can I help you?"

Hikari shook herself.  "I'm sorry," she said, bowing politely to the young woman on the bench, "you… look like someone I know."

"Oh," the girl shrugged, "whatever…"

"Excuse me."

Hikari bowed once more and made her way towards the exit to the train station, glancing back over her shoulder to confirm that she had really seen what she thought she had seen.  _Looks just like her,_ she thought, shaking her head in wonder, _Maybe-_

"Hey, Ikari!"

Caught off guard, Hikari stumbled, barking her shin on one of the benches.  "Ow!"

She crouched down, rubbing her injured leg with a pained expression.  "You should be more careful," a strong voice advised, making her look up, "a married woman is supposed to be graceful and elegant.  Or at least, that's what my dad says."

"Hey Suzuhara," Hikari managed a sickly smile, "Guess you found- hey wait!" she gasped, her eyes widening.  "You… married woman??"

"No," Touji grunted, "_you_ married woman, _I_ Touji!"  The jock seemed to find this comment very amusing, as he threw his head back and laughed out loud.

Hikari rose to her feet, looking very confused.  "No, no," she waved a hand, as if trying to ward off any more awful puns, "how did you… know…?"

Touji shrugged, glancing into the train station.  "Ikari told me," he said absently, "hey, is that-"

"No," Hikari cut in impatiently, "it just looks like her… but Shinji _told_ you?  It was supposed to be a secret!"

"Well, until you got back to school," Touji pointed out, taking one last considering look at the girl on the bench.  "Did you think people wouldn't notice when they called Hikari Ikari at roll?  Or when you and Shinji hold hands and make out?"

"We wouldn't do that!!" Hikari gasped, quickly adding, "In public…"

Touji chuckled.  "Hey, it's cool," he shrugged, "Shinji told me the whole story.  He said he had to tell _someone_ about it_, _and since he doesn't have family like you do, he spilled it to me."  He sighed, ruefully adding, "Made me promise not to tell anyone though.  Man, what good is a secret if you can't even tell anyone??"

Hikari averted her eyes.  "O-oh," she stammered, "I… guess that makes sense…"

_I don't know why I'm surprised,_ she thought, leading Touji to the other side of the station to catch the train home, _My dad knows the details, so I have someone I can talk to… but Shinji, well, all he has is me and Misato – and neither of us have really been that talkative to him lately._

She spent the train ride with Touji filling him in on the details Shinji had left out – though there really weren't many – and pretending she did not understand his repeated, completely unveiled insinuations that she and Shinji would soon be (as Touji put it) 'working on making another one.'

_I never knew he was such a pervert,_ she thought as they exited the train and started to make their way home, _guess it's just a guy thing.  I'm sure Shinji was looking down my shirt last night at dinner… though I guess that could have been my imagination, and I AM his wife, so – God, I think I'll take up gardening, just so I'll have something to think about INSTEAD of this!!_

As they neared the apartment, Touji caught her by the arm.  "Hey, wait," he said quickly.

"What is it?" Hikari asked, not at all minding the little shiver that ran up her spine as his hand touched her skin.

_Married woman,_ she thought quickly, _I'm a married woman.  Married, not dating, MARRIED. Him Touji, you married, remember?  Ha ha.  Pretty damn funny, isn't it?? _

"Well, you know how you hooked up with Shinji to help him out with the kid and all?"

"Uh huh?" Hikari asked, feeling slightly confused.

"I just," Touji shrugged, scratching the side of his nose and averting his eyes as he mumbled, "I think it's kind of cool that you did that, ya know?"

Hikari's back tensed, and before she could stop herself, words were leaving her mouth.

"Oh sure, _now_ you notice me!!"

Her eyes widened as Touji's jaw fell open.

"Did I… was that out loud?" she asked meekly.

"Y-yeah," Touji stammered releasing her arm.

"I'm sorry," Hikari said quickly, "I just…"

_Just what?_ she thought frantically, _I just have this huge crush on you, why don't we have an affair?  I'm not REALLY married – you know it's just a front, so why don't we get together?  Shinji won't mind, I'm sure.  We can keep it really quiet, and-_

"I gotta go.  Tell Misato I'll just wait by the car."

Dumbfounded, Touji nodded. 

"Er, ok…"

He watched in silence as the class rep folded her arms and hurried around the building towards the parking lot, never once looking back.

- - - - -

_Well this… really sucks,_ Shinji thought, sighing gustily as Touji gave Hikari another furtive look.  _No one's said a word since we got on the helicopter… and that was almost an hour ago!_

He frowned, recalling the odd look on Touji's face when the boy had knocked on the door.  Something had happened on the way home, Shinji was sure of it, but Touji just shrugged when he asked what was wrong and said he just felt stupid for losing his hat… and Hikari had just smiled when they got to the car and told him she just wanted to get going as soon as possible.

_And they're both lying,_ Shinji thought sadly, glancing at Misato and finding, much to his amazement, that the woman had fallen asleep.  _My wife and my best friend,_ he thought with sudden amusement, _it almost sounds like a bad romance movie.  The wife sleeps with the guy's best friend, it ruins the marriage, and the guy finds true love with another woman after years of drinking… or something._  He leaned back in his seat, frowning faintly as he thought, _Of course, in my case, my wife is only married to me because of a little girl, and my best friend has only been my best friend for like, a couple months… if that._

"We're almost there."

Shinji jumped slightly in his seat as a voice whispered in his ear.  "Oh, Misato," he took a deep breath, "you scared me… I thought you were asleep."

He shivered as Misato leaned closer to him, pretending to point something out in the sea below.  "What's up with them?" she breathed, barely jerking her head towards Touji.

"I… I don't know," Shinji admitted, shrugging uncomfortably.  "Maybe they… had a fight on the way…?"

Misato shook her head imperceptibly.  "That's not what it looks like, Shinji," she whispered, "I… maybe I'm being paranoid, but it seems like… you know what, never mind, I'm probably jumping at shadows."

"No," Shinji said quickly, trying to keep his voice as low as hers, "what?"

With a sigh, Misato softly murmured, "Were they… dating before all this got started?"

Shinji gaped at her.  "No!" he shook his head emphatically.  "No way!"

"How are you so sure?"

"Well," Shinji said slowly, "I just… Touji wouldn't bother hiding something like that," he said finally, "he doesn't care what other people think of him."

Misato was not satisfied.  "What if Hikari does?"

After careful consideration, Shinji shook his head once more.  "No," he said slowly, "I… I don't think Touji would care even if she wanted to keep it a secret.  I know it sounds really bad for me to say that, but… that's just how he is."

"Hmm…" Misato hummed, "well… if it was me I'd keep an eye on them.  Something seems… off."

Shinji said that he would try, and Misato leaned back into her seat, closing her eyes once more.  _Only they're not really closed,_ he noticed belatedly, _they're open just a little.  Huh… I wonder if she ever sleeps or if she's always like that…?  And does any of this really matter?  I mean, we're only married for Bella…_ Shaking his head, he forced himself to think of something else.

Some time later, the helicopter touched down on the surface of the _Over the Rainbow_, disgorging its passengers and powering down its engine.

"Is that him?"

Shinji looked up to find a girl with long red hair staring at him, her yellow sundress catching the late-morning light and amplifying it like a magnifying glass, giving the illusion that she was glowing.

It was almost an ethereal vision of fire-soaked beauty, Shinji thought… until an errant gust of sea-wind happened by, and the next thing he knew, his ears were ringing.

"What the hell was that for!?" Touji demanded, rubbing his aching cheek as the girl tugged her dress back down.

"That was the price for a peek," the girl shot back in faintly accented Japanese, "a bargain, nicht?"

"It's overpriced," Touji retorted, unbuttoning his pants in preparation for retaliation.  "Here's your chan-"

"Suzuhara!" Hikari's voice cut through the din like a whip, "Don't you _dare_!"

_Huh,_ Shinji thought as Touji froze in mid trough-drop, _even away from school, she's the Class Rep._

"You must be the Third Child," the redhead observed, disregarding Touji entirely now that the conflict was over.  "Hmm… not what I thought.  Are you _sure_ you beat an angel all by yourself?"

"Shinji," Misato sighed, "This is Asuka."

"Nice to meet-"

"Isn't an Asuka a kind of mosquito?" Hikari interjected suddenly, stepping closer to Shinji and discretely taking his hand.

"And who's this?" Asuka asked, boldly looking Hikari up and down and ignoring her question entirely.  "Your girlfriend?"

Hikari stepped forward, giving Asuka a bow that pushed the limits of politeness.  "Actually," she said coolly, "I'm his wife."

For the barest of moments, Asuka's eyes widened, but she quickly covered her surprise by asking, "Oh really?  So when are you having kids?"

If Shinji had not known the class rep better, he would have sworn she was taking great pleasure in throwing the Second Child off.

"We already have one, actually."

Misato coughed into her fist as Asuka struggled to find an appropriate comeback.  "Well," she said briskly, "now that we all know each other, let's get-"

"Hey… Katsuragi."

Shinji blinked as his guardian cut herself off in mid-sentence, staring at a tall man with long brown hair, held back in a ponytail, as he came through one of the ship's doors.

"Kaji…?"

Another gust of wind blew by, and Shinji shivered… though if it was from the breeze, or the suddenly-heavy atmosphere, he was not sure.

Continued…

Author's notes: none come to mind, other than to say I am not a fan of fanfiction.net's new system of previewing, which seems to remove characters like the 'at' symbol in my e-mail address and the asterisks I usually use for scene-breaks.  No sir, not a fan of that at all…

_2_ is not pre-read

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities or by e-mailing random1377yahoo.com


	9. Interlude

Disclaimer: see 1 for disclaimer.

2

Interlude (3.5)

By Random1377

Rei glanced up from the television, cocking her head to the side and straining her ears to hear past the squeaks and whistles coming from the kid's show currently on the screen.

Bella, always quick to notice if something was wrong – or rather, always quick to notice if Rei was about to leave – looked up. "What wong Wei?" she asked around her thumb.

"Nothing," Rei replied quietly. "I just thought I heard something."

She glanced down to see if the child believed this half-truth, but Bella had already gone back to watching her movie.

_They have started fighting…_

Rei frowned, trying to relax on the couch as the thought – so full of certainty – breezed through her mind. It was always this way for her: whether she was in the battle or not, she always knew the moment the first blow had been landed. It was something she meant to ask the Commander about, but never seemed to find a good moment. There was always something to distract her, and by the time she remembered, it seemed so trivial and distant that she discarded it as imagination. Until, of course, the next fight.

"Would you like another cracker?" she asked, glancing down at the sizable pile of crumbs in the girl's lap.

Bella shook her head, her eyes never leaving the screen.

Rei nodded to herself. _I am… anxious, _she thought, shifting on the couch as the toddler suddenly giggled, pointing to the television and urging her to look. _I should be in combat, not here. I am… not supposed to be here…_

She tried to relax, absently taking a cracker from the box on the table next to the couch and popping it into her mouth. No, she was not supposed to be here – she was supposed to be fighting, protecting, fulfilling her purpose. She was not supposed to be babysitting an orphaned little girl while others did her work for her. Even if her EVA was damaged – and Commander Ikari assured her it would be repaired soon – she should be where the fighting was happening.

_So why do I feel comfortable here?_

Rei suppressed an uncharacteristic shiver. This was not her place – definitely not now that Shinji had 'married' the class representative. Rei still put this thought in parenthesis, as she in no way considered the two other teens actually wed. Regardless of their true feelings, however, they _were_ Bella's current guardians… and she should not be so relaxed about occupying their place at the girl's side.

_It is… unavoidable,_ she told herself reasonably, _the Commander ordered my presence in order to allow the retrieval of the Second. I should not… be ashamed._

"Ashamed," she whispered aloud, not noticing that Bella's eyes had left the television

_How long has it been since I've felt that?_

Rei cast her mind back, trying to recall the last time shame had been a deciding factor in any of her decisions, but for the life of her she could not recall having felt it before. But that was impossible, wasn't it? Surely there must be _some_ childhood memory of doing something embarrassing, shouldn't there?

Frowning, she tried to focus on the odd feeling inside her, but before she could give it much more thought, she noticed Bella staring up at her, sucking her thumb and barely daring to breathe.

"Wei scawy," the girl mumbled, her eyes wide, "why Wei angwy?"

Smoothing her brow, Rei replied, "I am not angry."

Bella continued staring at her for a moment in silence, as if trying to decide if she was safe to look away. Finally, she let out a soft sigh and turned back to face the television.

_Scary…_ Rei thought with mild amusement, _I cannot imagine being… scary._

She regarded the little girl closely as an idle thought suddenly became a concern.

Rei had always been good at containing her emotions. It was something that her commanding officer had trained and drilled her on for as long as she could remember, so she was quite practiced at it… but since Bella's arrival, Rei had noticed a subtle shift in her ability to maintain her calm, especially in the little girl's presence. It seemed to her that somehow, Bella affected her judgment. Normally, she was able to shrug off any hint that something outside of her sphere of influence could affect her in any way.

After all, what good was controlling your emotions if you let something get to you?

This, however, was different. _It is as if I somehow… know her,_ she mused, absently taking another cracker, _what an absurd idea._

She shook her head, closing her eyes and taking in a deep, calming breath.

_It is temporary, _she told herself, unsure if this pleased her or not, _upon Ikari's return home, I will not be allowed to-_

Rei's train of thought was interrupted as she felt Bella abruptly turn on the couch and embrace her. Opening her eyes, she asked, "Is something wrong?"

Bella simply smiled up at her.

"Wuv you Rei."

For a moment… Rei could not speak.

_Has… anyone…?_

Thought, it seemed, was difficult as well. All the First could do was sit and stare into the open, honest face of the toddler holding her with all of her strength – and no matter how she attacked it, Rei could not recall any time in her past where anyone had ever spoken those words to her.

She opened her mouth.

"Th-thank… you…"

"Wehcome."

As the girl turned her attention back to the TV, Rei instinctively reached out, her hand hovering an inch above Bella's head before slowly sinking back to the couch.

Averting her eyes, painfully aware that she had also spoken words she had never used (though not as powerful as the ones the toddler had uttered), Rei slowly drew in another deep, calming breath.

_It is… not my place…_

For a long, long time, the only sounds in the apartment were the happy laughter of a delighted child… and the uneven breathing of a young woman whose certainty about her position in life had just taken a very serious hit.

Continued…

Author's notes: nothing comes to mind.

_2 _is not being pre-read.

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing random1377yahoo.com


	10. 4

Disclaimer: see 1 for disclaimer.

2

4

By Random1377

Hikari let out a long, deep sigh, rubbing her upper arms with her palms as she stared out at the rolling sea. _I think I can see the mainland,_ she thought, trying as hard as she possibly could to keep from thinking of the fight with the angel.

From her point of view it had been rather uneventful, all things considered. She simply stood out of the way on the bridge of the Over the Rainbow and watched the others scramble around and bark orders, wishing with all of her heart that she could be anywhere in the world but where she was.

_I can't believe it's so cold up here,_ she thought, still keeping her thoughts off of the fear that had effective incapacitated her on the bridge. Never had she been more afraid for her life. Never had she thought – with conviction and certainty – that she would DEFINITELY be dying soon as when the report came in that the new Evangelion unit could not move under water.

"Idiots," she breathed, shaking her head as she recalled the look of incredulity on Misato's face when she realized that her pilots were sitting ducks. "Transport a giant robot on a big boat, but make sure it can't fight in the water if anything happens to it… stupid."

It had all worked out, of course – mainly because her husband (she was forcing to think of Shinji this way now) had taken control of the situation somehow. What, exactly, had happened, she was still not sure, and the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she did not want to know.

_Just keep me safe,_ she thought, no longer caring if it sounded selfish, _keep your wife safe, Ikari._

With a sigh, Hikari stepped away from the railing and headed into the ship, making her way down the stairs in search of even one familiar face – even if it was the new pilot, she did not care. The sight of the endless, impossibly blue ocean was starting to depress her. A person could get lost there without a trace, and to a girl with two sisters and a workaholic father, being lost was just about the worst fate she could think of.

_At least I know where I can find Touji,_ she mused, heading deeper into the ship, _it's nice to know some things never chan_-

"…y did an excellent job," Misato's voice suddenly came to her, lightening her step.

Here, for the first time since excusing herself for some fresh air, was a familiar voice. _And it sounds like she's talking to Shinji,_ Hikari thought, _I guess… I guess I SHOULD be with my husband right now. He did just beat an angel, after all._

Following the sounds of continued conversation, she came to a door in the middle of one of the ship's narrow hallways and raising her hand to knock.

She froze, however, as she recognized the voice behind the barely cracked door as belonging not to her new husband, but to the redheaded pilot of the new Evangelion Unit.

"I don't know why you're surprised," the girl was saying boldly, "My EVA's the first production model and I've been training for seven years – I knew we'd win before we even took off!"

_Confident little tramp, isn't she?_ Hikari thought, still smarting from the girl's barbed comments about her and Shinji's marriage down in the ship's mess hall. _Just because that Kaji guy wouldn't look at you doesn't mean you have to take it out on US! And it's not like anyone doesn't know you want him – well, Shinji might not, but he's not really good with that kind of stuff._

With a start, she realized that she had totally lost track of the conversation between the new pilot and Shinji's guardian. Frowning, she tilted her head to the side, concentrating on what the two were now saying and pretending that she had a better reason than curiosity for eavesdropping.

"…got some interesting sync results from the fight," Misato said approvingly, "you and Shinji seem to work pretty well together."

"Yeah, if you say so," the girl (_Asuka__,_ Hikari thought) said dismissively.

"So what do you think of him?"

Hikari leaned closer to the door, wondering what the German girl's opinion of her husband would be.

The laughter was gone from Asuka's voice as she replied, "What do I think of him? I think you better keep him away from me is what I think."

"Huh?"

There was a long pause, broken when the redhead finally sighed. "Look," she said flatly, her tone sending a shiver down Hikari's spine. "My first impression of him was that he was a loser, ok? He wouldn't look anyone in the eye, he kept apologizing for everything – there was just a bunch of things that just made me think 'why is this kid a pilot?' But down there, he…"

"He what?" Misato prompted softly as the girl trailed off.

"That wasn't the same person I met on the deck," Asuka said bluntly.

"What do you mean? I don't understand."

Asuka blew out a deep breath. "Ok, look, you've known me a long time, right?" Misato must have nodded, because after a short pause, Asuka continued. "Have I ever been scared of anything?"

Misato snorted. "Shinji scares you?"

"No!" the redhead growled, sounded exasperated. "That's not what I'm trying to say. What I'm trying to say is that when we were down there, he wasn't the same person… and I didn't know if we'd be coming back up."

"Why not?" Misato murmured. "I'm not following you, Asu-"

"Because!" Asuka snapped. "He was going to kill that thing no matter what – he didn't CARE if we died too, Misato! Do you know what he wanted to do? He said sinking the battleships was too risky and that we should just force the angel's mouth open and TEAR the core out, do you get what I'm saying?? He wanted to do it with Unit 02's HANDS! So what do I think of him? I think he's a psycho freak, and I won't be happy launching a mission with him watching my-"

"Hey, what are you doing?"

Hikari barely managed to stifle a scream as someone tapped her on the shoulder. "Ik-IKARI!" she gasped, covering her heart and slumping against the bulkhead. "Don't you ever do that again!"

"Sorry!" Shinji said quickly, blushing bright red as he averted his eyes. "I didn't mean to scare you, really!"

"God, I think you just knocked ten years off my life," Hikari laughed weakly, discretely stepping away from the door.

As Shinji apologized again, Hikari studied him, shooting glances at the door and hoping the occupants of the small room did not figure out that she was listening. _Shinji? _she thought skeptically, _A psycho?? Whaaaatever. The chances that he would tear anything out of anyone are about as good as the chances of him volunteering to sing for the school talent show! That girl's just loopy…_

Then again, she thought, Aida and Suzuhara would readily tell anyone who would listen how the seemingly mild-mannered boy had taken on an angel with only a knife in his EVA's hand – and had screamed like a maniac the entire time.

"We're almost to port," Shinji observed, staring down at the red plugsuit he was wearing with obvious distaste. "Where's Touji?"

Hikari blushed at the mention of the other boy's name, recalling with alarming clarity how she had clung to him when Unit 02 had come crashing down on the deck of the aircraft carrier. "He's, er, in the cafeteria, I think," she said nervously, "you know Touji – any excuse to eat." She laughed – just a little too jaggedly, she thought – and blurted, "Shouldn't you, umm, change?"

Shinji's face screwed up in a look of misery as he took another look at the feminine design of the suit he was wearing. "My clothes were on the transport ship," he muttered, pulling at the suit's back in an effort to minimize its breast-cups.

"Hey," Hikari said suddenly, "where did you change?!" She grinned broadly as Shinji's mouth opened and closed. "Did you change in front of that girl?" she teased. "Are you cheating on me already, Shinji?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Hikari knew she'd made a mistake. Shinji's face went bright red, and he shook his head emphatically, stammering that he would never even think about doing something like that.

_You would though, wouldn't you?_ Hikari thought with painfully intense shame. _If Touji said 'hey, let's check out the back of this storeroom – and if we happen to make out while we're here, that's cool' you'd be all over it, wouldn't you? God, this sucks! I'm NOT married to you, Ikari!!_

"What's wrong?" Shinji asked as the girl suddenly turned away. "What is it? I… I didn't do anything, Hikari… really!"

"I know," Hikari whispered, shaking her head to clear the memory of Touji's powerfully muscled arms wrapping protectively around her. "I was just… thinking about something else…"

- - - - -

"We're home."

"Welcome home."

Shinji made his way into the living room, an unexplained feeling of relief washing over him as he found Rei and Bella sitting calmly on the couch. He smiled as he noticed that Bella was asleep, her head resting on Rei's shoulder and a half-eaten cracker sitting in her limp, open hand.

"Everything go ok?" he asked, nodding as Hikari excused herself to the bathroom, mumbling something about washing off the 'sea smell.'

"There were no difficulties," Rei said quietly, making no move to get up as Shinji retrieved the TV remote from the floor and clicked it off.

Shinji nodded to the sleeping girl. "How long has she been out?"

Glancing at the clock on the VCR, Rei murmured, "One hour."

"Did she eat dinner?"

"Yes."

There was a brief paused, then Rei inclined her head slightly towards Shinji.

"Why are you wearing that?"

Shinji's shoulders slumped. "I… we had to fight an angel," he muttered, "this was the only plugsuit available."

"I see."

"Misato took Asuka – the new pilot – to find a place to stay," he said, feeling the need to explain where the woman was, "she said she would give you a ride when she got home."

"That is not necessary," Rei said calmly, "I will take the train. I am used to it."

Shinji bit his lip. "Are you sure? It's kind of late."

Rei nodded. "Yes, I am sure."

"Alright, then I guess I should get Bella off you."

Carefully, Shinji leaned down and slid his hands awkwardly around the sleeping girl, hoisting her gracelessly into his arms.

"Shhh," he whispered as her eyes fluttered open, "it's ok… just putting you in bed…"

"Sanks… Shinchee…" the girl mumbled, her eyes slipping closed even as she bought her hand up to her mouth and stuffed the remains of the cracker into it.

Shinji smiled and shook his head as the cracker dropped onto his shoulder after a single chew. "Shh…"

Carefully, he walked down the hall to his room, kicking a few loose clothes aside and moving over to the side of the bed. He frowned, though as the light from the hallway was suddenly halved.

"Is something wrong, Ayanami?"

The blue-haired girl was standing in the doorway, her eyes fixed unblinkingly on Bella's face as she seemed to consider the words to express what was on her mind. Finally pulling her gaze away, she looked up, meeting Shinji's eyes.

"I… do not understand you," she whispered softly, shaking her head slowly from side to side as Shinji carefully laid the little girl in bed. "You struggle to hold something that cannot be held…" she pulled her eyes away as Shinji looked up at her, frowning softly. "I do not understand."

Shinji rose to his feet and walked over to her, putting his hand on her shoulder and gently guiding her out of the room. As quietly as he could, he pulled the door closed, turning to face her and taking a deep, calming breath. "You just… have to want something bad enough, I guess," he said awkwardly, "I just keep thinking, 'if I don't do this – if I don't _make_ this work – she'll have nothing left,' and I can't let myself give up on her." He shrugged uncomfortably as the First stared at him. "She's already lost so much," he said quietly, "so if I don't help her… if I don't… do everything I can to protect her, what kind of person would that make me? So even if it's hard for me and I have to give some stuff up, don't I owe it to her to dig in and hold on as hard as I can…?"

Rei considered this for a moment, but could not think of an appropriate reply. Out of everything he had said, what kept echoing in her ears was the simple question: If I don't do everything I can, what kind of person would that make me?

Giving herself a small shake, Rei offered Shinji a polite bow.

"Goodnight, Ikari."

"Goodnight, Ayanami," Shinji returned her bow. "Thanks for helping me tonight."

"You are… welcome," Rei replied hesitantly.

For a moment, the two Children stared at each other, neither moving towards the door as their eyes remained locked together. Shinji's skin felt somehow too tight as Rei took a hesitant step towards him, her right hand wavering a bit as if she were about to reach out and touch his face.

Then the moment was over, and Rei was walking towards the front door, never once looking back as she silently made her exit.

- - - - -

"Ahhh!! I feel SO much better!" Hikari declared, rubbing her hair one last time before tossing the wet towel into a conveniently located hamper in the hall.

She headed into the living room, finding Shinji sitting on the couch with the TV on, though she could tell that he was not actually watching it. _Probably thinking about the fight, _she thought reasonably, missing the focus of Shinji's thoughts by a good country mile.

"Ayanami went home?" Hikari asked lightly.

_Oh, I missed her,_ she thought darkly when Shinji confirmed that the First Child was indeed gone, _what a tragedy._

Feeling much more relaxed now that she was in familiar surroundings, Hikari flopped onto the couch at Shinji's side, absently pulling her robe a little tighter around her slim body. "Man what a day," she groaned, noticing absently that the boy had finally changed out of that ridiculous red suit. "You… I heard you did great out there. Good job, Shinji."

Shinji blinked, his eyes focusing finally on her. "Er, thanks…" he whispered, immediately pulling his eyes away.

Hikari grinned. _He is really cute sometimes,_ she thought, _and you know something? He's my husband._

She let her eyes look up and down his body, completely shutting off the blaring alarm in her mind that was screaming 'don't do this – yes, you're still burning off adrenaline from the angel fight, and yes, he's the closest thing to comfort you've got right now, but DON'T DO IT!!'

_He IS my husband,_ she thought, shoving an image of Touji harshly out of her mind as Shinji gave a deep yawn and rested his head on the back of the couch, _of course… we've never really acted like a married couple, because we've always thought of this as just a convenience._

Unable to tell the difference between attraction and residual fear, Hikari channeled all of her energy into this one, exceedingly dangerous thought.

_But maybe we should give it a try…_

Before she could think about it too much, Hikari was moving. She turned on the couch, putting one hand on Shinji's shoulder and holding him in place as she leaned forward, her eyes slipping closed as she zeroed in on his lips.

Mitigation, as defined by www.dictionary.com, means 'To moderate (a quality or condition) in force or intensity; alleviate.' Conversely, Unmitigated means 'Without qualification or exception; absolute.' With these two definitions in mind, it would be MORE than fair to say that Hikari and Shinji's first and only kiss was, without question, a completely unmitigated failure.

"WhaUULM?!?"

Shinji, who in all honesty had been just drifting off to sleep, jerked in surprise, his eyes shooting wide open as Hikari pinned his shoulder down and smashed her mouth into his. He winced as one of her teeth collided with his, sending a very unpleasant jolt of pain through his jaw, and his shoulders immediately went rigid with tension, giving him a hunched, almost paralyzed appearance.

They stayed frozen for several seconds, staring at each other with surprised, nearly terrified expressions before Hikari tore herself away and stumbled to her feet. "I… I…" she tried to explain herself, wishing with all of her heart that the look on his face was not so blatantly confused. Abruptly, she closed her mouth, tasting the sharp, bitter tang of fresh blood.

"You're… you're bleeding, Hik-"

Hikari did not give Shinji a chance to finish. She whirled on her heel and raced from the room, hurtling into his room and whipping the door closed behind her. _Stupid,_ her mind screamed, ignoring the rustle of bed sheets as Bella stirred and mumbled something in her sleep. _Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!_

She sank to her knees, her eyes filling with tears as she all but collapsed against the door.

"Stupid…" she whispered, wrapping her arms around her knees and sniffling loudly as Shinji hesitantly called her name. Ignoring him, Hikari shook from head to foot, a singular, unshakable thought repeating over and over through her mind until exhaustion took over and sent her spiraling into darkness.

_This isn't working._

To be concluded…

Author's notes: none come to mind.

_2_ is not being pre-read.

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing random1377yahoo.com


	11. 5

Disclaimer: see 1 for disclaimer.

2

5

By Random1377

"Could you please pass the salt?"

"Yeah… sure."

Barely glancing up to make sure his hand was moving the right way, Shinji reached out and picked up the salt shaker, thrusting it somewhere in the direction of the voice that had asked for it.

"Thanks."

"Sure."

Moving his dinner around on his plate, Shinji stole a glance at Bella. _She feels it too,_ he thought miserably. _God I hate this… _Hesitantly, he lifted his head, raising his eyes until Hikari's face came into view – then quickly jerking them back down to face the table as he found her quickly looking away. _Looks like her lip finally healed._

He shivered. Four days had passed with agonizing slowness since his and Hikari's disastrous kiss. Talking to her had proven useless, as for the first two days she simply refused to acknowledge that anything had happened, acting falsely bright and overly cheerful, but for the last two, she had been distant and edgy, leaving the room as soon as he came in and murmuring one-word replies to anything he said.

Asking to have him pass the salt was probably the longest interactive question she had posed, post-kiss.

Deciding to press his luck a little, Shinji ventured, "So, umm, Asuka's in our class, now."

"I know," Hikari replied listlessly, "someone told me."

_Stupid,_ Shinji winced as Hikari excused herself. _God, I'm so stupid!_

Mentioning school was a big mistake.

Hikari was no longer class representative.

"Finish up," she told Bella flatly, scraping most of her own dinner into the garbage, "it's bed time."

_I'm sorry,_ Shinji thought miserably, nodding as Bella looked to him for confirmation of Hikari's instruction – a habit that drove the older girl to the point of insanity. _I… I didn't even think of it._

He had been the one that had to tell Hikari that she was no longer representing class 2-A. They had been alternating going to school from day to day, but when the teacher had decided to elect a new representative, based on Hikari's current obligations and lack of time, it had been Shinji's day.

And he had not even raised his hand when the teacher had asked if anyone had any objections.

_God, I'm selfish._

It did not matter that much if he HAD objected, he knew, as there was no way the teacher would let Hikari be a mother AND the class rep, but Shinji felt that he should have at least tried. And based on the steadily increasing tension in the small apartment, Hikari felt the same.

Misato, he was sure, grasped the undercurrents of discontent on the home front, and had chosen to confront it by not confronting it – meaning that since the return from Unit 02's retrieval, the woman had only been home long enough to sleep and shower.

Shinji could not blame her. It was not her burden, after all, and-

"She's not a burden," he whispered under his breath, giving Bella a forced smile as she shoveled a last bite of food into her mouth and slid sinuously out of her booster seat.

With a sigh, he let his false smile go, watching the little girl shuffle off towards the bathroom. Bella was never enthusiastic about having Hikari bathe her, but Shinji really was not comfortable with doing it himself. Being in the room when she used the toilet was awkward enough, but he felt that actually touching the little girl would be wholly inappropriate.

He had done it a couple times, of course, when there was no one there to help him, but he was always very careful to keep a washcloth between his hand and her body, and if there was ANY way he could avoid doing it – even if it meant that Bella had to go a day or two without – he took it.

_I guess I shouldn't be THAT freaked out about it,_ he told himself, starting to clean up the remains of their dinner, _I mean, until Officer Kokobunji finds a better home for her… I'm her father, pretty much. Right?_

Placing the dishes carefully in the sink, he turned on the hot water, plugging the basin and squirting a liberal dose of dish soap into it, his eyes going hazy as he stared into the gathering bubbles.

_It'll get easier, right?_ he asked himself, tuning the world out and focusing on this idea. _We just need some time, that's all. Once things settle down, me and Hikari will get everything worked out, Misato will be able to come home and relax instead of hiding wherever she's hiding these days, and Bella will be happy – and then, I'll bet it won't be that long, either, they'll find a place where she can live permanently, and maybe we'll even be able to visit someti-_

"What are you doing??"

Shinji jumped, startled from his reverie by Hikari's sharp question. "Wha – oh no!!"

Water was spilling freely over the lip of the sink, pouring down the front of the cabinets to pool at his feet, spreading across the floor at a leisurely, unhurried pace. Panicking, Shinji drove his hand into the water, searching for the plug for a moment… then yanking his arm back with a pained yelp.

"Have you lost your mind?!" Hikari cried, hurrying to his side and swinging the sink's faucet over to the unused basin. "Here," she said quickly, turning the tap all the way to cold, "put your hand under that."

Shinji flinched as she carefully took his arm and guided it under the running water. Slowly, the pain subsided; fading into a faint ache as Hikari gently moved his hand back and forth under the tap. After a few moments, Shinji gradually became aware of how quiet everything was, and how close Hikari was standing to him. He glanced at her profile, taking the opportunity to study her unobserved as she examined his slightly pink skin.

She really was a pretty girl, he decided. Her face – attentive and concerned at that moment – was open and kind, and her dark brown eyes always seemed to be on the edge of crinkling with laughter. In short, she was definitely the kind of girl Shinji could fall for… if only their situation was not as complicated as it was.

Before he could look away, Hikari glanced up, catching his eye.

They stared into each other's eyes for several moments, both of them dropping their guard and fully seeing one another as the water continued to pour unchecked over Shinji's hand.

"I'm sorry you have to live like this," Shinji whispered without preamble.

Hikari shook her head without breaking eye contact. "It was my choice," she reminded him softly, "I'm managing."

_You're so brave,_ Shinji thought, wishing suddenly that she would try to kiss him again.

Finally looking away, Hikari reached over and turned off the water. "I need a clean washcloth," she said awkwardly, blushing faintly at the look in Shinji's eyes, "are there any in here?"

Swallowing to banish the dryness in his throat, Shinji reached into one of the drawers and pulled out a small, red washcloth. "Here."

"Are there any bigger ones?" Hikari asked. "Bella's got jelly in her hair."

Shinji frowned. "Why not just use your hands?" he wondered.

The warmness that had been growing between them slowly dissipated, and Hikari took a step back from him. "She's not my child, Shinji," she said quietly, "it's not right for me to touch her."

When echoed back to him, Shinji's own concern suddenly sounded disturbingly like an excuse. "It's ok to touch her hair," he said, rubbing his hand absently, "she-"

"Not for me," Hikari cut in, her voice sharper than she had intended. "Sorry," she muttered, "look, she's not mine, Shinji, and I don't like touching her… it feels wrong – so do you have a bigger washcloth or not?"

Silently, Shinji reached into the drawer and pulled out a hand towel, offering it out to Hikari with a carefully blank expression. As she took it from him, Hikari's fingers brushed his, but there was no spark, as there always was in the teen dramas Shinji had watched when no one was looking. There was nothing there but cool skin against his, and in that moment he knew that there was no chance for him and Hikari to have anything even vaguely resembling a normal relationship.

"Thanks," Hikari murmured, turning away and heading back into the bathroom without another word.

Standing in a pool of spilled water, Shinji could not help but wonder how long it would be before something gave way in their awkward, pressure-filled relationship. With a sigh, he knelt down and began moping up the water with the washcloth Hikari had deemed too small.

Right around the time he decided that she was right, his cell phone began ringing.

- - - - -

"Name and rank?"

"Hikari Ikari – Pilot's spouse."

The security guard glanced down at his list of authorized personnel and frowned. "And the child?"

Feeling cold sweat trickle down her back, Hikari gave the street behind her a fearful look. "She's my daughter," she said nervously, trying to remember the phrasing she was supposed to use. "Umm, I mean, Belladonna Averson – Pilot's child."

"IDs?"

Fumbling in her pocket, Hikari managed to dig out the cards Shinji had pressed into her hand. "Here," she said quickly, thrusting them out to the man, "can we go inside now?!"

"Just a second," the guard said, sounding bored.

_Come on!_ Hikari wanted to scream. _Don't you hear the alarm!? This was supposed to be a special shelter – let me in, goddamnit!!_

Finally, the guard handed the cards back to her and made a tick on his clipboard. "Go ahead, Misses Ikari," he said calmly, waving her through.

"Come on," Hikari said, grabbing Bella's hand and yanking her towards the doors to the shelter.

"Want Rei," the little girl mumbled, dragging her feet as she was pulled along.

Hikari grimaced. "Well, she's not here," she hissed, "come – OH!"

She gasped as the ground under her feet shook, a dull boom echoing off the tall buildings all around her and rolling like thunder through the deserted streets.

"The angel has entered the city," the walkie-talkie on the guard's belt squawked, making Hikari cringe. "No, wait – angels, target has divided, repeat: target has divided. Unit 02 appears to be down, Unit 01 – status unknown. Evacuate all non-combat personnel IMMEDIATELY, priority one – repeat-"

Hikari did not wait to hear the rest. She scooped Bella into her arms and sprinted into the shelter as fast as she could, her hair streaming out behind her as the bored looking guard rose to his feet and began shouting orders.

"Everyone inside – INSIDE! Come on, hurry up! Do you want to die here? THEN HURRY UP!!"

Sobbing, Hikari threw herself into the corner furthest from the door. "Oh God," she gasped, clutching Bella tight to her chest, "please let us be ok."

An explosion, much closer this time, rocked the building, drawing startled shouts from everyone around her. Dimly, Hikari was aware of someone screaming, "It's too late! Shut the doors – they'll have to fend for themselves."

_Oh God,_ she thought frantically, _Oh God, oh God – that could have been us! We could have been stuck out there!!_

She was aware, suddenly, that Bella was squirming to get free. "No, baby," she said quickly, "stay with me – just stay with me."

"Yet doh," Bella grunted, struggling harder. "Huwting."

Hikari lightened her grip, but did not let go. "Stop it," she said, trying her best to stay calm as the shelter's enormous blast doors swung ponderously shut. "Bella – STOP IT!"

But the little girl kept moving, plucking at Hikari's fingers as she muttered, "Want down."

"Not NOW," Hikari hissed, "damn it!"

With a surge of anger, she opened her arms, letting the girl tumble to the floor.

Instantly, shame washed over her. "S-sorry," she stammered, holding her arms out as the shelter shuddered.

Bella got up, not bothering to brush herself off as she stuck her thumb in her mouth. "Wei," she said simply, "want Wei."

"She isn't here," Hikari retorted immediately, "get over here, right now – it's not safe here."

_It's not safe anywhere,_ she thought frantically, pressing herself back into the corner as personnel and important civilians ran everywhere, bracing themselves in case the battle actually reached them. _So stupid,_ Hikari thought, wringing her hands in front of her almost frenetically, _if the angel gets here – we all die! Can't you people see that? Don't let them get me, Shinji, please – I don't want to d-_

"Ahh!!"

The shelter rocked once more, catching her completely off guard, but as the crowd around her let up a ragged cheer, Hikari realized that the building was still shaking – because it was sinking. Within seconds, the whole structure would be underground. Tucked away from the fighting. Secure. Safe. Untouchable.

Or so she thought.

"Damn it," someone on the far side of the room shouted, "sir – I've got a malfunction in the cabling system. Something's jammed!"

_No!_ Hikari thought, all of her tension leaping back into her in the blink of an eye as the building stopped moving. _No – not now! Why is this happening?!_

"Want Wei."

"She's not here," Hikari said quickly, feeling sweat breaking out all over her body, "shut up."

Bella – not used to hearing this phrase – drew her brow down. "Want Wei," she said stubbornly.

Hikari clenched her teeth together, keeping her eyes moving around the shelter as she snapped, "She's not here – shut UP!"

Pouting, Bella pulled her thumb from her mouth and stuck out her bottom lip, barely whispering, "Want… Rei."

There is only so much stress a person can handle before they reach their breaking point, and for Hikari – stripped of her class representative title, caught in a marriage to someone she hardly knew, trying her best to care for a child that did not like her, and trapped in a shelter that was still above ground and terribly vulnerable – these two words were all it took to push her way past the threshold.

"SHE'S NOT HERE – SHUT _UP_!!"

Deathly silence fell over the shelter as everyone – the security officers included – stared, open-mouthed, at the girl in the corner.

Hikari blinked, glancing around in dazed confusion at the wide eyes bearing down on her from all sides. _Someone's kid is crying,_ she thought, nearly uttering a sharp, mad laugh at the sheer normalcy of the thought, _my hand hurts…_

Slowly, she brought her hand up, her frazzled mind refusing to admit – even then – that her palm was glowing with pain, the skin already reddening from the force of the blow it had issued.

_What… what blow…?_ she thought, her ears filled with a horrible rushing sound as she lowered her hand and glanced down at her feet.

"Oh… God…"

The rushing grew louder as she stared, unable to cope with what she was seeing. People began crowding in, some restraining her… some bending down to check the still form lying prone at her feet. For the moment, no one seemed too concerned with the angels, or the EVAs, or anything outside of that one measure of time – the one wherein Hikari fully understood just how low a creature she really was.

As the reality of what she had done washed over her, Hikari took the last possible avenue of retreat open to her and dropped in a dead faint in the arms of the people keeping her from Bella's limp body.

- - - - -

The bedroom was quiet and still, the soft bleeping and pinging from the screen easily eclipsing the shallow breathing of the room's two occupants. Neither of the teens moved much, preferring to let the relative quiet go unchecked. Hikari lay on her side, staring off into space as Shinji sat on the floor in front of her television, his fingers and eyes the only parts of his body he dared even twitch for fear of bringing Hikari's attention his way.

He dreaded the conversation he knew was going to take place. With all his heart and soul, he wished that there could be any other reason for his being there.

"Shinji," Hikari whispered, making him flinch and nearly lose his life, "do you think she'll hate me forever… or just until she gets put into a real home and forgets me."

"I don't-" Shinji had to cut himself off, because his mouth was too dry to let him speak. "I don't think she'll hate you," he said softly, keeping his eyes on the screen, "when she's old enough to understand, she-"

Hikari's voice was flat and hollow as she cut in, "I knocked her out, Shinji… literally. I hit her so hard she… she blacked out…"

Though his hands were shaking, Shinji still managed to keep playing his game, forcing words past his lips in a vain attempt to comfort his wife. "You were scared," he said softly, "you were worried she would get hurt."

"No," Hikari whispered miserably, "I wasn't, Shinji – I wasn't even thinking of her at all… just… just me."

Shinji sighed. "Well, that's what happens when you get scared," he said reasonably, "but… but you brought her with you to the shelter, right? You made sure she was safe, even if you weren't thinking about it, you still made sure she was safe."

"…yeah."

_At least she got her wish,_ Hikari thought with brutal self-deprecation, _she's with her precious Rei._

After the attack, and after hearing the accounts of what had happened in the shelter, Misato had immediately called Rei and asked her to come stay with Bella overnight while Shinji escorted Hikari home to 'get herself composed…' but Hikari was not stupid – she could see the fear in the older woman's eyes.

_She's afraid I'll hurt her,_ Hikari mused, _God, I already did – but she's afraid I'll do more._ She clenched her eyes closed. _…would I?_

Slowly, she rose to her feet, knowing there was only one solution for this problem.

"H-husband…"

Shinji tensed, and by the sound of his game, Hikari could tell that he had just died, though he kept his eyes glued to the screen and made no verbal reply.

"Husband," she repeated, keeping the tremor out of her voice this time as she knelt on the floor behind him, "your wife has a favor to ask…"

After a moment of silence, Shinji bowed his head, letting his hands fall to his lap as his game went on unnoticed. "What does my wife need?" he whispered, giving Hikari's formal question a formal reply.

Hikari wet her lips, but kept her head down in the traditional posture of deference. "Your wife needs you," she said through numb lips, "your wife needs her husband tonight. Will you give her the honor of sharing her bed?"

Shinji inhaled sharply, whirling to face her and dropping the game controller on the floor. "Wh-what?"

Taking a deep breath, Hikari said, "Your wife is scared, husband… she needs someone to hold her tonight, or she might go crazy." She swallowed hard as Shinji got to his feet. "If you don't hold me," she said tremulously, unable to continue her formal request, "I'm gonna die, Shinji, I know it. So much happened today, and I… I hurt that little girl so bad – please, I just need someone close to me right now so I can pretend I'm still a good person, ok?"

She finally managed to look up as Shinji padded over to where she was and looked down at her, his face showing no emotion as their eyes met.

"Husband," Hikari managed, "please help your wife… please help me…"

Slowly, Shinji knelt and embraced the girl, holding her shivering body as she began to sob.

"I can't…" Hikari hitched, clenching her eyes closed and burying her face in his shoulder, "I can't do this anymore, Shinji… I'm sorry. I thought we could make this work… but it's just too hard." Keeping her eyes tightly closed, she took a deep breath, ignoring the tears streaming down her face as she quietly whispered the words Shinji knew he would eventually hear.

"I want a divorce."

The End

Author's notes: this marks the end of _2_. There will be one more set of stories in this series, (hopefully) tying up all the loose ends and bringing the arc to a final conclusion. Thank you for reading.

_2_ was not pre-read.

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing random1377(at-sign)yahoo(dot)com.


	12. 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion – Studio Gainax does. If they have a problem with me writing this non-profit fan-fiction, I will gladly remove it from the web.

1

1

By Random1377

Rei stared up at the ceiling of Shinji's small bedroom, trying to piece together the confusing events that had led her to be there. Since she had no active Unit, she had been in her apartment minding her own business – which, as usual, involved sitting on her bed and pondering her existence – when the phone rang. Captain Katsuragi had been most insistent, Rei recalled, that she needed someone to watch Bella for the evening, and that the Commander had already okayed it.

For some reason, Rei doubted the truth of this statement, but she had still made her way over to the apartment, where the captain was desperately trying to calm the little girl down. What, exactly, the problem was, Rei never got a chance to ask – because after taking one look at her, Bella had flung herself into Rei's arms, babbling at near supersonic speed about how Hikawi had swapped huo, and how Hikawi was bat.

It made a lot more sense when Captain Katsuragi explained it, using weary, abrupt words as she grabbed herself a beer and upended it, barely pausing to breathe as she reached for a second can.

"So you see," the older woman had concluded, wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her shirt, "You're the only one I could turn to, and until we find a way to actually KILL the angel, no one's going to have time for her. I really appreciate this, Rei."

Now, with Bella dozing peacefully at her side, Rei could not help but wonder why she was not being considered as part of the overall defense strategy. Yes, Unit 00 was incapacitated currently, but shouldn't she be on tap as a backup at least? She did not bear Misato any ill will, or anything like that – nor did she even mind watching Bella all that much… but in her opinion, a woman that did account for every possible combat scenario – including the need for a seasoned secondary pilot – should not be given control over every aspect of NERV's combat and defense forces.

_If a combat situation grew too daunting, would she turn command over to someone else?_ Rei mused. _She has proven herself capable so far, but…_

She let the thought trail off, focusing instead on her surroundings. Though Shinji's room was dark, Rei had taken the time to memorize the locations of the furniture – primarily in case Bella needed to use the washroom in the middle of the night. It would, she reasoned, be most unseemly to have to explain to Commander Ikari that she had broken her arm tripping over a desk chair while escorting a homeless waif of a child to the toilet.

It would be doubly damning, considering the fact that the last order she had received directly from the Commander was to avoid contact with Bella.

_So why am I here?_ she wondered, shifting unconsciously as Bella burrowed closer to her side. _Commander Ikari did not issue the order… and I suspect that Captain Katsuragi has not spoken to him on the subject – so why did I agree to stay here?_

Having no satisfactory answer to this question troubled the First.

She closed her eyes, inhaling the soft, warm smell of the Third's room – all paper and faintly musky personal odor. It was not a bad smell, per se, but it was definitely Ikari's… a distinctive aroma that immediately brought the boy's hesitant smile and self-conscious speech patterns to mind. It was… comforting, somehow, a fact that did not escape Rei's constant analysis. The entire Bella situation was decidedly complicated, yet somehow, Rei held absolutely no doubts that Shinji would find a solution.

_Strange,_ she thought, glancing at the clock, _I should not be so confident in a person with a proven history of running away from his problems. Perhaps this is his way of showing that he is capable of handling-_

She cut the thought off as she heard a soft, "Shh… they're still sleeping."

Frowning, Rei sat up in bed, absently patting Bella on the arm as the girl stirred and murmured a protest at the change in position. _…Captain Katsuragi._

"I'm sorry," she heard Shinji's hushed voice reply; "I guess I'll just lie on the couch."

Rei slowed her breathing, concentrating her listening on the voices just outside the door.

"It's over, isn't it?"

"Yeah… it's too much for her, Misato."

"…what about the girl?"

Shinji hesitated. "Hikari said she wouldn't officially file until we find a permanent place for Bella, but…"

"But?"

"…but she can't stay here anymore."

There was a long, deep sigh. "I think that's for the best. Did you see the size of the bruise on that kid's cheek? It looks like she got punched."

Shinji's voice was soft was he replied, "She didn't mean to do it, Misato… she was scared, and-"

Misato must have gestured him into silence, as he cut himself off rather abruptly. "I don't care why she did it," she said icily, "it won't happen again, Shinji – do you understand? Even if she didn't WANT to leave, I'd make her. I won't see that child hurt any more."

"…yeah."

There was a long, awkward pause, broken when Misato finally whispered, "Shinji…?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you… did you sleep with Hikari?"

"I…"

Misato waited several heartbeats to see if Shinji would answer before saying, "It's a stressful situation, Shinji… human comfort WOULD be the most logical thing for a person to look for, and I hate to say it, but Hikari looked an awful lot like she was looking for something to help her forget what happened. Were you that help, Shinji…?"

Rei slid quickly out of bed, easing her way closer to the door and straining her ears in a vain attempt to pick up Shinji's reply… but he was speaking too quietly for her to make it out.

"So that's it, then," Misato murmured a moment later, "the stage is only as good as the actors, Shinji… and our lead just bowed out. It's just a matter of time before officer Kokobungi starts noticing that your 'wife' isn't living here anymore. The man has a lot on his plate, but he's pretty damn sharp. What will you say when he calls to check up on you and Hikari, or drops by to see how things are going?"

Shinji sounded very tired as he answered, "Lie, I guess… stall him. Say Hikari's out shopping if he comes by… say she's taking a bath if he calls… I don't know…"

Rei pursed her lips as Misato considered this. _Those options are only temporary, Ikari…_ she thought grimly, _and eventually, your ruse will be uncovered._

As if echoing her thoughts, Misato whispered, "That's a stopgap and you know it, Shinji. How long do you think it will last?"

Pressing her ear to the door, Rei barely heard Shinji murmur, "Couple weeks… month or two, maybe. Hopefully… hopefully they'll find a home for her by then."

"And if they don't?"

"I don't know… I just don't know…"

"Look," Misato's voice sounded very tired, "I know this is hard… but do your best not to think about this right now, ok? Until the angel's defeated for good, I need you at a hundred percent. I'm heading back into headquarters in a little while to brainstorm. You stay and get some rest."

"I understand."

Rei nearly jumped out of her skin as a groggy, "Rei…?" sounded behind her.

She turned to face the bed at almost the exact second Shinji's door slid open. "Oh!" Shinji exclaimed, blinking in surprise as he found the First standing less than a foot from him. "Ayanami, I… I thought you were asleep."

Averting her eyes, Rei murmured, "My apologies… I did not mean to startle you."

"You heard, then?"

"…yes."

Misato cleared her throat. "I'm heading out… get some rest, if you can, Shinji. Rei, you'll have to stay the rest of the night, I'm going the other way."

"I can take the train," Rei said evenly, "I should return home."

"Suit yourself."

As the Captain bowed her exit, Shinji leaned against the doorframe. "Was she ok for you?" he asked, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I don't know why I'm asking… she's always ok for you."

Rei glanced down at Bella, who was making her way blearily over to her side. "She was fine," the First said, allowing the child to take her hand, "though she did complain that she does not like broccoli."

A faint smile lit Shinji's face. "You made her eat it, right?"

"Of course. It is a nutritional requirement."

"You'll be a great mother someday, Ayanami…"

Staring down at the floor, Rei murmured, "You are… embarrassing me."

Silence fell as the two Children both turned their attention to Bella.

"Gotta poddy."

Shinji blinked as the girl abruptly turned away and slouched down the hall towards the bathroom. "I'll go," he said lightly, "you can-"

"It is not necessary," Rei interrupted.

"Huh?"

Rei watched the girl slip into the bathroom. "She does not need anyone to accompany her anymore," she explained quietly. "We discussed it after dinner, and she agreed that she is old enough to handle it alone."

"Just like that, huh?" Shinji laughed. "I've been trying to get her to go alone for days. How did you manage it?"

Shrugging minutely, Rei whispered, "I asked her."

"…oh."

"Ikari."

"Hmm?"

"Will you explain something to me?"

Unnerved by the girl's unwavering stare, Shinji said, "Er, I'll try. What is it?"

"Why do you not insist that Misses Ikari remain with you?" Rei asked calmly, deliberately using Hikari's married name. "She understands the repercussions of her departure, does she not?"

"Y-yeah," Shinji said uncertainly, "I'm sure she does."

"Then why do you not remind her of her obligations?"

Shinji chuckled weakly. "It's not that simple," he said gently, shaking his head for emphasis. "Hikari… went through a lot with Bella today. She's not a pilot like one of us, Ayanami, she's just a regular girl – she doesn't have any training, she's never had anyone teach her how to keep from panicking. She's just… normal."

"You are normal," Rei said flatly. "You are still-"

"I can't MAKE her want to be married to me," Shinji cut in softly. "It was selfish of me to ask her to do this in the first place – I don't have the right to make her stay with it when she's so scared. Tonight…" he swallowed hard, averting his eyes, "tonight I saw just how terrified she really is, Ayanami. I can't make her do this anymore. Bella… I don't know what will happen to Bella, but Hikari's done all she can." He shook his head ruefully. "The one time I don't run away and it doesn't even matter."

Rei nodded, opening her hand almost unconsciously as Bella returned and silently slipped her fingers into it. Looking from one Child to the other, Bella slowly slid her thumb into her mouth.

"I finally figured out why she does that, you know," Shinji mused, "Sucking her thumb I mean."

"Oh?" Rei asked mildly.

"Yeah," Shinji shrugged, patting the little girl on the head. "She only does it when she's really happy… or really scared…"

Rei thought back on the few times she had seen the girl suck her thumb. "That sounds correct," she agreed, glancing down at Bella. "You do not have to be scared."

Bella pulled her thumb out of her mouth. "Hikawi es weeving," she said quietly, gazing up at Rei unblinkingly. "Rei weeving too?"

Shinji looked away, blinking quickly as Rei replied, "Yes. I do not live here."

The little girl tilted her head to the side. "Hikawi es weeving," she repeated, "Rei can wive heoh now."

"That's enough, honey," Shinji said softly, keeping his eyes averted, "Rei… has her own house. She doesn't want to live here, ok?"

Bella stuck her thumb back into her mouth, making her difficult to understand speech pattern nearly incomprehensible. "Won Wei t' tay."

Shinji grimaced. "She can't," he said softly, "I'm sorry. Now come on, let's get you back to bed… it's late."

Rei stood very still as Bella slowly turned her head, looking up at her with damp, pleading eyes. "Pwease…?"

"She can't," Shinji said, exasperation plain in his voice as he knelt in front of the girl and put his hands on her shoulders. "Bella, I know you want her to… but she just can't."

Bella's chest hitched, and before Shinji could say another word, the girl burst into tears. "W-want… R-rei!!" she sobbed, rubbing her eyes with her fists as Shinji sighed tiredly. "W-ant… Rei… STAYY!!!!"

"No."

At this simple statement, the volume of Bella's screams intensified a hundredfold. She shook her head from side to side and wailed that she wanted Rei to stay, stay, stay… but Shinji just took her by the arm and began pulling her back into the bedroom.

"I'm sorry, Ayanami," he said, entirely flustered, "can you let yourself out? She's… just a little shaken up, that's all…"

Confused by the odd tugging feeling in her chest, Rei simply nodded and turned away, making her way out of the apartment at a slow pace and standing outside long after Bella's cries had faded away to silence.

- - - - -

Darkness greeted Rei as she pushed the door to her apartment open… but it was not the comforting stillness she had experienced in Shinji's room. This was stifling, dangerous, and more poignant – as if it could swallow her up at any time. Tensing slightly, Rei breathed in, familiar smells assailing her as she realized she was not alone.

"Good evening… Commander."

"Rei," a smooth voice rumbled out of the darkness, "come in. Close the door."

"Yes sir."

Rei did as she was told, plunging her apartment into near blackness as she kicked her shoes off and stepped inside. The commander was sitting in her apartment's single, metal folding chair, his legs crossed as he stared at her in the gloom. He had positioned himself, Rei noticed, so that none of the light from her apartment's small, grimy window hit him.

A puppeteer, she thought suddenly, pulling the strings from the shadows.

"You were at Captain Katsuragi's apartment."

It was not a question.

"Yes sir," Rei nodded, unconsciously straightening her back, "she informed me that you-"

"I am well aware of what she told you, Rei," the Commander cut in calmly, "as you are aware that she was lying."

"…yes, sir."

"Under the circumstances," the man said evenly, "your actions are… forgivable."

Rei gave another nod. "Yes, sir."

Silence reigned as Gendou stared at her, his tinted glasses barely refracting any light as he pushed the frames higher on the bridge of his nose.

"This girl," he said finally, his tone wintry and brittle, "she has proven to be a far greater distraction than initially anticipated. Two of my Children, and my director of operations, go out of their way to ensure that SHE is the one comforted… when the fate of our entire species hangs in the balance. A little… selfish, wouldn't you agree?"

Resisting the urge to try reading the man's expression, Rei gave the only reply she could.

"Yes… sir."

"Mm."

Another, more painful silence stole over the room as the commander contemplated the First Child. So obedient, he thought, she was so obedient most of the time – but on this, she sought to defy him… oh, subtly, definitely subtly, but defying him all the same. Then there was that stupid tramp Katsuragi. Such a fine tactical mind residing in such a stupid, silly, easily swayed floozy.

It was almost a crime.

"I have new orders for you, Rei," the Commander said, smoothly rising to his feet and stepping past her. "You are to assist Captain Katsuragi in any way possible with her preparations for the battle with this angel. If she wants you to stay in her apartment to allow the Third Child time away from his…" the man's mouth all but writhed around the word, like a snake choking on an egg too large for its throat, "child, so be it – as long as it is productive in the destruction of the angels."

"I understand," Rei said quietly.

"Do you?" the Commander said softly, "I wonder."

Rei blinked, confused by the odd tone in the man's voice. "Sir?"

"Our primary mission parameters are what, Rei?"

"Destroy the angels," Rei recited immediately, "ensure the safety of our species, and pave the way for the ascension of all Mankind."

The Commander's breath tickled her ear as he leaned closer to her and whispered, "And obstacles standing in the way of those goals should be removed, yes?"

"Yes, sir," Rei said hesitantly, "as you say."

Gendou turned away from her. "Keep doing your best, Rei," he said coolly, "arrangements are being made to rectify this… untenable situation."

Frowning faintly, Rei said, "Rectify, Commander? I do not und-"

"Arrangements," the commander cut in flatly, "…are being made."

Without another word, he strode from the apartment, leaving Rei alone with her thoughts.

Continued…

Author's notes: I know it's been a while since I've updated this story… but then again, it's been a while since I've updated ANY story, so it shouldn't be all that surprising. I will try to return to a more regular release schedule and get this, and all of my other incomplete stories, finished.

_1_ is not being pre-read.

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing random1377(at-sign)yahoo(dot)com.


	13. 2

Disclaimer: see part 1.

1

2

By Random1377

It was not… a good morning.

"Shinchi – waygup!"

Shinji groaned, flinging his arm over his eyes as he felt an insistent tugging on his sheet. "Justaminute," he mumbled, wondering if he had ever been more tired than he currently was. "Tired."

"No," the voice demanded, "Shinji waygup! Guroh es… Shinchi, wayGUP!!"

Flinching at the sudden shout, Shinji sat up in bed. "Alright," he said, clutching his throbbing head, "alright, I'm up…" Rubbing his eyes, the under rested Third Child glanced down at his adopted daughter. "What is it? Are you hungry, or-"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Gedup," she demanded, pulling on his hand, "deoh is guroh."

"Girl?" Shinji murmured, desperately hoping he had interpreted correctly. "What girl?"

Instead of responding, Bella tugged harder.

Shinji got to his feet, looking down at himself in confusion for a moment until he remembered that he had not bothered to undress before dropping into bed. _That's right,_ he thought, letting Bella lead him towards the door, _when I got back from Hikari's house, Bella threw a fit. After she finally calmed down, I was too tired to-_

His thoughts cut off with an abrupt snap as he found the left side of the hallway almost entirely blocked with boxes. "What's… all this?" he stuttered, gesturing to the boxes with obvious confusion.

"They're mine."

Shinji jumped, instinctively shielding Bella in his shock as a figure he had not expected to see in his house popped up from behind the wall of boxes. "A-Asuka??"

"Nice to see you too," the redhead muttered dryly. "And your kid," she narrowed her eyes balefully at Bella, "is quite the charmer."

Bella stuck her tongue out – from a safe vantage point behind Shinji's legs, of course – as Shinji tried to sort out what was happening. "What are you doing here?" he asked, finally deciding that the direct approach would be the best.

Asuka's reply was succinct and to the point.

"Moving in."

"Huh??"

Opening one of the boxes and starting to rifle through it, Asuka absently replied, "What are you, stupid? I said I'm moving in. Misato wants us to train together to fight the angel, so I have to live here until it's dead."

"Train?" Shinji echoed, noticing from the corner of his eye that Bella had stepped around to stand at his side. "For what?"

"Try listening sometimes," Asuka quipped, "We're training together to fight the angel, ok? Ok – now stop asking stupid questions. What do you people eat around here? I'm starving."

Shinji opened his mouth, but before he could reply, Bella planted her fists on her hips and said – very clearly, "Skaska bat!"

Taken completely off guard, Asuka frowned. "What?"

"Skaska BAT!" Bella repeated more forcefully. "No pushy!"

"Did… she just say what I think she said?" Asuka mumbled, turning her attention to Shinji. "That's some mouth your kid's got."

"PUSH-Y," Shinji said clearly, putting a hand on Bella's shoulder, "she lisps a bit."

"I'll say."

Bella, it seemed was not done with the redhead. "Skaska pushy," she said to Shinji, "Push dowen. Huwt."

Suddenly, Asuka looked a lot less bold. "I said sorry," she grumbled, busying herself with the contents of one of the boxes, "get over it, kid – and don't stand in people's way when they're moving stuff!"

"Bat," Bella growled, narrowing her eyes at Asuka, "baaaat Skaska!"

"Ok, ok," Asuka snapped, throwing her hands in the air, "I'm bat – very, very bat! Blah! Booga booga! Don't mess with me, if you know what's good for you!"

Oddly… this seemed to appease Bella's sense of justice. Her brow cleared, and she turned to Shinji, looking up into his face as she solemnly declared, "Skaska cracy."

Asuka reddened. "This is why I don't like kids," she said through gritted teeth.

"I see everyone's met."

Shinji turned to find Misato leaning against the hallway wall with a clear look of amusement on her face.

"Misato!" Asuka huffed, stomping over to the older woman. "How am I expected to train side by side with wonderboy over here while he's busy changing diapers, hmm? This isn't going to work!"

"It better," Misato snorted, handing Shinji a DAT as she sized the Second Child up. "It's the best plan we have – and besides, we've got a babysitter."

She stepped to the side, gesturing behind her to where another person was patiently waiting.

"Pilot Souryu."

"Oh HELL no!" Asuka exploded. "Where's she going to sleep – the balcony?? This place isn't that big, Misato!"

"Rei will stay here during the day and help out with Bella," Misato said levelly, "and I will take her home after dinner. Right? Right. And besides," she winked at Asuka, "with you and Shinji working so… close, there should be plenty of room. I told you – I want you two BLINKING at the same time when all this is over."

"Grr!!"

Brushing past the operations director, Asuka made her way to the front of the apartment, waving a hand over her shoulder as she pulled the door open.

"We'll start when I get back," she announced flatly, "not negotiable! If I have to be stuck in this dump with a whole bunch of losers, I need some time to psyche myself up."

Misato pushed away from the wall. "Get back here!" she said angrily. "You can't just do whatever you want, you spoiled little-"

She cut herself off as she felt a soft touch on her shoulder.

"Let her go," Shinji advised quietly. "I'll pick up the slack for her when the training begins, I promise."

"It doesn't work that way, Shinji," Misato muttered, "with the plan we've worked out, you have to move the same, think the same… there IS no slack."

Shinji rubbed his tired eyes, smiling faintly as he heard Bella scramble across the room and throw herself at Rei, babbling happily about how Skaska was not just bat, but VERY bat. "We'll make it work," he said gently, "I won't let you down."

Sighing, Misato leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. "Make sure you don't, Shinji," she said calmly, "if you can't make it work with Asuka, we ALL pay the price."

- - - - -

As it turned out, making it work with Asuka was one of the hardest things Shinji had ever done. No matter how he tried, he could not synchronize his movements with the Second Child, and while Misato worked diligently with them – even going so far as to bring in lighted dance mats, complete with sensors and sound effects – they had not shown any significant progress by the fourth day.

The fifth day proved to be both the worst, and the best.

Worst because Touji and Kensuke dropped by to check on Shinji… and arrived at almost the exact same time Hikari arrived to check on Asuka. Best because during one of Asuka's temper tantrums, Misato had the inspired idea of having Rei attempt the synchronization training – a task she succeeded at almost phenomenally, forcing Asuka to swallow her pride and work harder towards the common goal.

This obvious manipulation, coupled with the woman's insistence on taking pictures of everyone – including forcing them all to pose for a group photo – made for a very uncomfortable evening.

As Hikari, Touji, and Kensuke began getting their things together to leave for the evening, Hikari abruptly caught Shinji's hand, pulling him into his room and closing the door before he could say a word. Leaning against the door, she murmured, "I'm sorry for yelling at you like that. I know me and Asuka aren't really close friends, but she looked so scared when Rei did better than her, it just… it hurt me. I'm sorry."

"I don't think anything scares her," Shinji said lightly, carefully studying the floor as his wife shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, "but I think she'll try harder from now on, so… thanks."

"Mm," Hikari nodded absently. "Is, umm… how's Bella?"

Shinji sighed, scratching the back of his neck as he thought of a proper reply. Rei had been staying in the apartment for the entire time he and Asuka had been training… so Bella was happier than she had been for some time – but he had noticed the way she had shied back from Hikari when she came into the room, and he knew that Hikari herself had picked up on it.

_She still cares, though,_ he thought, slowly meeting Hikari's eyes. _Even though she never wanted any of this, she still cares for Bella._

"She's fine," he said finally, turning around and leaning against the wall next to Hikari, "she's resilient, you know? She doesn't even talk about what happened, anymore."

Hikari nodded, the expression on her face so pathetically gratefully that Shinji wanted to cry. "…I'm glad," she whispered, discretely wiping her eyes. "Well, I guess I should get go-"

"Are you with Touji now?"

To her credit, Hikari did not flinch at the sudden, blurted question. Then again, she could not quite manage to find her voice to tell him that she was.

"I guess I should be mad at you," Shinji said quietly, resting the back of his head against the wall and closing his eyes as Misato called for him to hurry up and get back to training, "we're still technically married, after all."

Slowly, Hikari pushed away from the door, turning to face the Third and carefully wrapping her arms around him. She held him for a moment, squeezing her eyes tightly closed as she recalled the last time they had been this close. "We won't come back, if it hurts you to see us," she said softly. "I never wanted to hurt you, Shinji, you have to believe that."

Shinji nodded, gently returning her embrace. "I know," he whispered, "and I never really thought about how hard any of this would be for you. All I thought about was Bella." He sighed deeply as Hikari stepped away from him, trying to lighten the mood before he broke down crying. "The next time I get married, I'll make sure my wife knows what she's getting into," he said with a weak grin. "I just hope she's half as good at cooking as you."

"She won't be," Hikari laughed, wishing her voice was not quite as uneven as it was. "But if you need me for anything – I mean… for anything I CAN do, not to be your wife again… call me." Staring into Shinji's eyes, she concluded, "If you'll let me, I always want to be your friend."

Unable to cope with the emotions running through him, Shinji took a page out of Rei's book and shoved his feelings deep inside, nodding decisively and pulling the door open to let Hikari out of his room.

"Yeah," he said quietly, giving her one last, sad smile before heading back to his training. "Yeah, I'd like that."

- - - - -

"Ok," Misato said, tapping her fingers nervously on the edge of the control console as she looked up at the screens marked Feed from Unit 01 and Feed from Unit 02, "you're both SURE you're ready for this, right?"

On the screens, the Second and Third Children nodded in perfect unison, their efforts in learning to synchronize plainly visible to even an untrained observer as they each gave a perfectly timed thumbs-up.

"As long as Wonderboy doesn't lose time," Asuka said sardonically, "remember – full power, maximum performance."

"I know that," Shinji said irritably, the stress of the situation starting to show through his normally even temper, "We'll be done in 62 seconds."

"Alright," Misato called, clenching her right hand into a tight fist, "make me proud. EVAs – LAUNCH!"

Music flooded over the tac-net as the two EVAs shot towards the surface.

_Here we go,_ Shinji thought, trying to still his mind and listen to the flow of the song they had trained with over the past week and a half. _Spin… throw… land… perfect. I go left, she goes right… back flip… back flip… pressure plate… shields… step around… fire… dodge… perfect…_

Things went perfectly for 19 seconds – absolutely flawlessly.

_Step… turn__… Bella…_

"IDIOT! Look out!"

Shinji's concentration snapped like a twig as the Second Child cried out a warning, his head whipping around as he realized he was not where he was supposed to be. One misstep became two… panic surged in his chest.

The dance collapsed.

"I'm hit!!"

"No," Shinji gasped, his eyes wide with horror as Unit 02 staggered under the impact, the loss of synchronization throwing everything into chaos and shattering the carefully designed overlaying cover fire design Misato had so painstakingly come up with, allowing the angels to focus on the red mecha and hammer it from two directions at once. "NO!!"

In a second, the tac-net exploded with shouting voices.

"Damage to left arm – functionality at ZERO!"

"Damn it, Shinji what-"

"Angel is advancing, MAGI recommend using buildings 132 to 216 as cover to-"

"Fall back – both of you, fall back to point 421 to regroup and-"

"I'm gonna kill you, you goddamn loser!" Asuka's voice rose above the others, fear and pain spiking her tone to almost supersonic levels, "THEY'RE COMING!!"

_How much time?_ Shinji thought, casting a worried look at the timer as he sprinted towards Asuka's location. _Not enough – not enough! My fault… it's all my fault!!_

"What now, genius?!" Asuka demanded, hurling Unit 02 to the side as the angels pulverized the building she was behind. "You've still got both arms – cover me, you nitwit!"

"R-right!"

_Twenty-eight seconds,_ Shinji thought, casting a quick look at the advancing angels, _no time to fall back. Have to hit both cores… has to be a simultaneous attack. I can't do it alone! I…_

"Come on," Asuka called, "we have to-"

"Give me your prog knife," Shinji cut in urgently, inspiration hitting him like a thunderclap as his timer reached twenty-five seconds, "hurry."

"What are you babbling about?" Asuka replied acidly. "Didn't you hear Misato? We have to fall back so we can-"

"_NOW!_"

Asuka jumped, her eyes going wide at the snap of command in the Third's voice. "Wh-what?" she stammered. "I… but Misato said…"

"Damn it!" Shinji roared.

Before the redhead could stop him, Shinji willed Unit 01 into motion, grasping Unit 02's shoulder housing and tearing it wide open.

"Unit 01 is attacking 02!" Hyouga's voice announced incredulously. "Minor damage to left fin."

Yanking Unit 02's prog knife free, Shinji said, "When I say go, I want you to throw up your AT field – full power, everything you've got! Do you understand?"

"But-"

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND??"

There was a long, deathly silence from Unit 02, broken finally when Asuka whispered, "I understand."

"Alright," Shinji said, watching the angels advancing through the street toward them, "wait until I say go…"

_Three seconds,_ he thought, dropping Unit 01 into a crouch behind one of the reinforced buildings, _after they fire, they take three seconds to build up another charge. At least… they HAVE – I've only gotten to see them shoot four times._

"Get ready…"

In perfect unison, the angels fired, leveling the building Shinji was hiding behind and rocking Unit 01 on its feet.

"GO!"

Desperately, the Third hurled his mecha forward, moving in agonizing slow-motion as he mentally ticked off the seconds it would take the angels to fire again. _Three…_ he planted Unit 01's right foot hard in the middle of the street and kicked off, sending it straight at the angels. _Two…_ Unit 01's arms went up, lifting its progressive knife, and the one liberated from Unit 02, high up into the air, the bright afternoon sunlight glittering almost blindingly off of their humming blades. _One…_ the angels lifted their heads, their eyes glowing brightly as Unit 01 fell towards them, a ragged cry echoing over the NERV tac-net as the Third laid his wager and cast the die, praying for a miracle.

_Zero._

Asuka cried out, covering her eyes as a monumental explosion erupted in the middle of the street. Unit 02, as heavy as it was, went skittering between the tall buildings, coming to rest three blocks from where it had started, its timer still showing operational power as the redhead shook herself and cast around for any sign of Unit 01.

"Shinji…?"

Smoke and flame billowed through the street, obscuring her vision, and she nearly flinched as Maya's voice announced, "MAGI confirm: the angel has been defeated… no readings from Unit 01."

Bringing Unit 02 to its feet, Asuka gritted her teeth. "Power," she whispered to herself, scanning the streets for an umbilical station, "need… there!" Hurrying over to the tower, she grabbed the plug, awkwardly fitting it into Unit 02's back and sighing with relief as the internal timer reset itself. "Where's Unit 01?"

Silence was her only reply.

Stepping around a mound of rubble, Asuka continued her search. "Shinji," she called, "hey, idiot! Where are… you…?"

She trailed off, her words petering out as she caught sight of the purple behemoth.

"Oh God…"

Unit 01 knelt between two smoking craters with its head bowed like a quarterback who had just thrown a perfect spiral to an incompetent receiver on the fourth down. The backs of its hands rested tiredly on its knees, and on the street in front of it, Asuka could see the ruined hilts of the two progressive knives, charred and blackened from the intense heat given off by the detonating angels.

"Shinji?" she called, advancing on the silent machine. "Hey, stop screwing around."

"Asuka?" Misato's voice buzzed in Unit 02's entry plug. "Asuka, are you there?"

Asuka nodded, forgetting that the woman could not see her. "Yeah, I'm here."

"Can you… step to the left a bit?" Misato asked haltingly, "All we have for a visual is the feed from your Unit and I can't… quite see Unit 01's torso."

Nodding once more, Asuka stepped around, getting a better view of Unit 01.

"Get him out."

Asuka barely heard the command. Blood was rushing in her ears as she stared down at Unit 01… her eyes lingering on the two smoking holes in its chest plate. _I can see the street on the other side,_ she thought dizzily, _they punched right through it. Where… where does the entry plug sit? I can never tell from the outside. Does it… even matter? How hot would-_

"GET HIM OUT!!"

"…yeah."

Lurching forward, Asuka had Unit 02 grasp the back of Unit 01's neck, tearing the cover for the entry plug out and watching in horror as the plug slowly spun out. _Emergency power must've gotten hit,_ she thought, remembering the breakdown of EVA Units quite vividly.

Even on zero power, the EVAs were capable of ejecting their entry plugs. It was a safeguard to prevent unnecessary death, should the Unit become incapacitated in battle. As long as the backup power operated, the plug would eject.

"I'm getting him out," Asuka announced, carefully wrapping her Unit's hand around the plug as it finally reached the top. "The, umm, the LCL didn't vent, Doctor Akagi…"

Again, that poignant silence.

_Right,_ Asuka thought to herself, pulling the plug slowly out of Unit 01.

"Hhhuh!"

The gasp of shock escaped her before she could stop it, her vision doubling as she stared down at the cylinder in Unit 02's hand. She could see, immediately, why the LCL had not vented from the top of the plug.

"M-Misato…?" she stammered. "Misato, can you… s-see this…?"

"We see it," Ritsuko's calm voice replied. "Set it down carefully, Asuka… there's still a chance he's alive."

Nodding, Asuka carefully set the plug on the ground, trying not to notice just how much of it had been sheared off. _There's a chance he's alive,_ she thought, turning her eyes away… but finding them inexorably drawn back. _As long as the seat wasn't hit… as long as it didn't get TOO hot in there… there's… a chance._

"I'm getting out."

Before anyone could stop her, Asuka ejected her own plug. There was no doubt that a retrieval crew was on its way… but she had to see – had to see with her own eyes – if the Third had survived. It was strange, she thought as she scrambled out of her Unit and clambered down the machine's red hide, that she should care this much. She barely knew Shinji, after all – there was certainly no need to get all worked up… and perhaps, if she had not spent the last week and a half learning to breathe in time with him, it may not have meant so much.

But it did. For reasons she could not voice, it mattered more than anything.

So she went to him, calling his name as she sprinted to the shattered remains of his plug.

"Shinji!"

Grabbing the handles of the plug, she gasped, finding them unexpectedly hot. Gritting her teeth against the pain, she gave a mighty twist, wrenching the hatch open and thrusting herself inside.

With her heart pounding in her chest, Asuka stared at Shinji's limp body. _Ok,_ she thought, climbing into the plug, _breathe – come on, let's see that chest move! I'm not giving you mouth to mouth, you pervert, so stop pretending and wake the hell up!_ Steeling herself, Asuka approached the pilot's seat, glancing down at the gaping hole where the bottom of the plug should have been. _How far is that?_ she thought, trying to gauge the distance between the hole and the bottom of Shinji's seat, _Ten feet? Twenty? Hell, even if it's a hundred, it's too damn close._

"Shinji…?"

Carefully, she leaned over the seat, pulling her hair to the side and resting her ear against Shinji's chest. Closing her eyes, she let out a long, deep sigh. _Thump,_ she thought, _thump… thump… thump… that's right, you BETTER beat._

She sat that way for several endless minutes, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart, until finally, a softly whispered, "…did we do it?" forced her to open her eyes.

With a start Asuka glanced up, finding Shinji staring at the ceiling of the entry plug, his face almost entirely devoid of emotion. "Yeah," she replied, her voice remarkably subdued as she quickly lifted her head away from his chest, "they're both dead."

Slowly, Shinji's eyes focused on hers.

"Were you crying…?"

Asuka blinked, wiping her right eye and glancing at the back of her plug suited hand. "It's LCL," she said flatly. "I don't cry."

"Oh."

"…idiot."

Shinji nodded. "Yeah."

They stared at each other for several heartbeats. "I think I hear the retrieval crew coming," Asuka said carefully, "try not to be in the hospital too long, Third Child… gotta pull your own weight, you know."

Closing his eyes, Shinji whispered, "Thanks for coming to make sure I was ok."

"Yeah," Asuka murmured, "sure."

With the sirens of the retrieval crew drawing closer, Asuka found herself staring at Shinji's face. _Too old,_ she thought, shivering slightly as she recalled the dullness of the Third Child's drained stare. _Will I have that look after I've been doing this for a while? That 'I'm already dead and I don't know it' look? _

Closing her eyes so she would not have to look at him, a final thought crossed her mind.

_…do I have it already?_

Continued…

Author's notes: a person's opinion forms over time. Asuka has only known Shinji for a couple weeks. Keep your OOC to yourself.

_1_ is not being pre-read.

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing random1377(at-sign)yahoo(dot)com.


	14. 3

Disclaimer: see part 1.

1

3

By Random1377

Hikari stepped off the train feeling unusually light and upbeat, a marked change from the depression she had been suffering since moving back out of Captain Katsuragi's apartment. Touji, and even Shinji himself, told her repeatedly that she had done all that could be expected of her and more, but until today, Hikari had not been able to forgive herself for what she had done to Bella.

Nothing can hurt a person like self-deprecation.

_But that's all over now,_ Hikari told herself, smiling as she caught sight of herself in a store window, _everything's better. Well, not BETTER… but getting there._

Reaching into her pocket, she rattled the handful of coins Captain Katsuragi had handed her forty minutes earlier. The woman's instructions had been simple, if a bit cryptic.

_"Pick up the pictures I took when you guys were over last week… and take a look at the girl working the candy counter next to the photo shop – you'll know which one I'm talking about."_

Hikari was not sure what the captain was playing at, but she found that she didn't care all that much.

Bella had smiled at her. Bella had forgiven her.

Hikari knew this was true because instead of shuffling closer to Shinji when she dropped by to give him his class reports, Bella had immediately run up to her and given her a hug, smiling happily as she handed Hikari a clumsily tied knot of colorful string and insisting that she 'Die it en yo haow.'

Choked to the point of being unable to speak, Hikari had glanced helplessly at Shinji for an explanation, but her estranged husband had looked as surprised as her, shaking his head and muttering something about children not holding grudges – an idea that Hikari, having a little sister, knew to be incorrect.

_But whatever the reason,_ she thought now, idly fingering the string hair ribbon, _she's not mad. God, someday I might even be able to forgive myself for what I did. Not right now, but maybe someday._

Entering the small strip mall where Captain Katsuragi had dropped off the photos, Hikari found herself wishing that she had tried to stay. Shinji was a good person, and had always been nice to her, and Bella – as annoying as she COULD be – was possibly the sweetest child that Hikari had ever met.

"It's best this way," she murmured to herself. "I finally have the man of my dreams, even if he is a little dense sometimes… I just wish I could do more than picking up pictures."

Shinji, it turned out, held to his word, calling Hikari and asking her advice on how to handle Bella one three separate occasions since their conversation in his room. Romance was out of the picture… but friendship was definitely wanted, and freely given, turning what could have been an awkward split into a comfortable working arrangement.

"Your ticket, miss?" the clerk behind the counter asked politely, pulling Hikari out of her revere.

"Oh, right here," she said, pulling the stub out and handing it over the counter.

"Just one minute."

Hikari nodded, glancing absently at the candy counter next door. _Only one girl working the counter,_ she thought dismissively, starting to turn back as the photo shop attendant handed her a packet of pictures, _I don't see what's so spec-_

The thought cut off with a snap as Hikari's head whipped back around, her eyes widening in recognition even as her hand unconsciously opened, dropping the money unceremoniously into the photo clerk's hand.

"Can I help you?"

Hikari forced her mouth closed, shaking her head as the girl at the candy shop gave her a baleful glare. "N-no," she stammered, trying unsuccessfully to pull her eyes away, "sorry."

"Do I have something on my face, or something?" the girl asked dryly. "I'll tell you right now, I don't like girls, so if that's what's on your mind, you can forget it."

"No," Hikari said, all but snatching the envelope from the photo clerk and tearing it open to shuffle through the photos. "You… you look a LOT like someone I know," she said excitedly, digging around until she found the shot she was looking for and yanking it out, shoving it triumphantly at the girl, "see?"

The girl ignored the photo, her eyes fixed on Hikari's hair as a dark frown crossed her face. "Where did you get that?" she asked, nodding towards the string tied around Hikari's right ponytail. Before Hikari could reply, the girl shook herself, waving a hand as she said, "Eh, forget it… couldn't be the person I was thinking of anyway." Leaning closer, she finally looked down at the picture. "Never seen her," she said absently. "She doesn't even look like me… do you have to stare like that?"

Hikari laid the picture on the counter. "Take a closer look," she said insistently, "see the way her mouth curves up? See how her cheeks are? You could be her sister."

"Yeah, if I dyed my hair blue and put in red contacts," the girl snorted. "Look, I'm off in like, ten minutes, and I've got stuff to clean up, so…"

"Of course," Hikari replied with a bow, "sorry to bother you."

_I don't know why I was so excited,_ she thought, stuffing the picture back in the envelope. _Rei__ is an only child, right? I mean, no one knows anything about her parents, so I guess it's possible that she COULD have a sister… but really, this girl's right – she doesn't look all that much like her. It's more just the way she carries herself, and the shape of her face, I guess._

"Hey," the girl called out as Hikari started to walk away, "sorry I snapped at you. It's been kind of a long day, you know?"

"It's not a problem," Hikari said lightly, "but can I ask you one last thing?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Why were you so interested in my hair?"

The girl sighed. "Well," she said softly, "there was a girl I used to babysit, and we used to sit for hours and play with string and cardboard and all kinds of things." She met Hikari's eyes, smiling sadly as she concluded, "She loved pink and purple string the most, and she used to tie them together in ribbons just like that and make me put them in my hair."

From the tone of the candy shop attendant's voice, Hikari could tell that something bad had happened to the little girl… but she still found herself asking, "Where is she now?"

"She died in one of the angel attacks."

"…oh."

Rubbing her eyes with one hand, the girl untied her apron. "Sorry to bring you down," she said calmly, "my shrink says I really need to stop talking about it – but it's so damn unfair! She was so sweet…"

"I know what you mean," Hikari said sympathetically, giving the girl an awkward pat on the shoulder. "Fighting the angels is hard on everyone. I'll go now…"

"See ya," the girl said, giving an expansive yawn as Hikari turned to go. "Life sucks sometimes," the girl murmured to herself, lifting the counter up and stepping out.

"Yeah," Hikari agreed, taking a step forward and thinking that life definitely had a way of kicking you when you were down… and then the girl spoke eleven words that that froze Hikari in her tracks and made her heart stop beating.

"…if she'd lived, Bella would have turned three just last month."

-

Rei frowned, ringing the doorbell once more as she waited outside of Captain Katsuragi's apartment. _Strange,_ she thought, _I was told to be here at one._

Stranger than being made to wait was the fact that she was waiting in the first place. Rei had infinite patience for matters she deemed important, or thought she had been instructed to be attentive to, but to actually stand outside and wait for a babysitting assignment? Perhaps impatient was too strong a word, but Rei could not think of one that fit better at that moment.

And why?

Hadn't she seen enough of Bella over the past two weeks? Certainly! She could tell the Captain that she had tried to come, but that no one was home – then the next time, perhaps she would not be left standing out in the hall by herself.

…and still, she waited.

As she was preparing to ring the doorbell a third time, the door slid open, leaving Rei face to face with the newest addition to the piloting roster.

"Oh, Wondergirl," the redhead muttered, pulling a set of earphones away from her head, "I thought I heard the bell. You're late."

Rei opened her mouth to say that she had been on time, but before she could speak, Asuka turned around and walked away from the door.

_I… do not like her._

"Guess you're watching the brat, huh?" Asuka called, resting her headphones around the back of her neck as she dropped into one of the kitchen chairs and grabbed an open box of Chinese takeout, "better you than me."

Rei bristled slightly, but said nothing. _Brat?_ she thought, inexplicably irritated, _I believe this is one time where 'it takes one to know one' is an appropriate statement._

Asuka used her chopsticks to stir the food around for a moment. "So tell me," she said finally, "you and Shinji… you have anything going on?"

"Shinji is married," Rei replied smoothly, checking the clock on the microwave and finding that it was already twenty minutes past the time she was supposed to start. "Where is Bella?"

"They called about ten minutes ago," Asuka said dismissively, "something about some more tests the doctor had to run taking longer than they'd thought. They're on the way back."

Officer Kokobungi, Rei knew, had recently taken a new interest in Bella's case, and had asked that she be taken to a proper pediatrician, rather than the general practitioner she had been seen by the day she had first climbed into Rei's lap. How long ago was that, she wondered suddenly? It felt like months… but she knew it had been less than eight weeks.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Hmm?"

"Are you and Shinji dating or not?"

Rei brought her attention back to Asuka, finding the redhead watching her closely over the rim of the Chinese food box. "As I said," she murmured, "Shinji is mar-"

"Yeah, yeah," Asuka said, waving her chopsticks to cut Rei off. "It's a sham and everyone knows it. Were you guys… close, before the brat came into the picture?"

"Her name is Bella," Rei said softly, her voice taking on an uncomfortably terse edge. "She is not a brat."

Asuka grinned. "There's some emotion," she whispered, setting her food down with a hint of satisfaction. "Alright then – before BELLA got here… did you and Ikari have something going on?"

"No," Rei said calmly, "Shinji is not the type to make advances."

"…and you're not interested in making one yourself?"

Rei met the redhead's gaze straight on. "Are you…?"

The Second stroked her cheek thoughtfully for a moment. "I'm trying to decide," she said finally. "I thought he was a loser at first – totally dismissed him…" she leaned forward, her voice low and intense as she concluded, "after that fight, though, I don't know."

Staring blandly at the redhead, Rei said nothing.

Abruptly, Asuka rose to her feet, reaching over Rei's shoulder to grab a can of juice off of the counter and deliberately getting in her personal space. "I know what his heartbeat sounds like, First," she whispered, her voice low and silky as she glanced at the other girl from the corner of her eye, "what do you think of that?"

Rei kept her eyes focused on the far wall, ignoring the redhead's closeness. "I think you had extensive synchronization training in close quarters."

"Do you think it beats faster for you…?"

"I would not know."

Asuka pulled back, popping the can of juice open with a deft flick of the wrist. "God you're boring," she said gustily, "even the brat's got more spunk."

Refusing to rise to the Second's awkward attempts to get a reaction from her, Rei simply murmured, "She is not a brat."

Shrugging, Asuka dropped back into her seat and resumed her lunch and saying nothing for several minutes. "You gotta admit, though," she whispered finally, her eyes glittering mischievously, "he IS… interesting…"

Rei said nothing.

_I will not deny that he is interesting,_ she mused, her internal dialogue surprisingly guarded as she thought of Shinji's face. _Though ultimately, it does not matter. Ikari's thoughts are of Bella… and mine are of EVA. Regardless of what I may or may not desire, our objectives are at odds._

Behind her box of takeout food, Asuka smiled. Though the First was incredibly hard to read, Asuka was giving her full concentration… and she had picked up on several telltale signs – lack of eye contact, quickened breath, a minute clenching of the jaw – that hinted STRONGLY that the blue-haired girl had more than a passing interest in the Third Child.

Taking a bite of her lunch, Asuka disregarded Rei's presence entirely. What she had said was true – she had not yet decided if Shinji was worth anything more than a second glance… but she had figured out where the First stood, so if she WAS interested, she knew what her primary obstacle would be.

Or perhaps, 'obstacles' would be more accurate.

"Rei!"

Rei grunted as something slammed into her hip, catching her off guard and nearly knocking her into the table. "I have asked you to stop doing that," she murmured, glancing up as Shinji and Misato followed the bouncy toddler (currently clinging to Rei's side and speaking at supersonic speeds) into the kitchen.

"I'll be in my room until you're ready to go, Shinji," Misato said wearily.

"Little tired, are we?" Asuka asked, arching an eyebrow sardonically.

Misato dropped her jacket over one of the spare chairs in the kitchen. "That kid takes it out of me," she yawned. "YOU try keeping up with her in a toy store."

Pursing her lips and shooting the child a narrow glance, Asuka muttered, "Pass."

Shinji sat down with a thankful groan, rubbing his forehead with one hand as he set down a small bag marked with the logo of Tokyo-3's most prominent toy store. "Here," he sighed, "here's your dolly."

Giggling with delight, Bella released Rei's waist, allowing the First to breath and rattling a quick, "Fanku Shinchi," before snatching the doll Shinji was offering her and bringing it tightly up to her chest.

A muscle in Asuka's right cheek twitched. "Well look at that," she said blandly, lifting her eyes from the doll and gazing directly at the First Child, "the resemblance is striking."

Bella gave her a dirty look. "Skaska bat," she said, her tone scolding, "G'way now."

Asuka waved a hand, pushing the remains of her lunch back as she rose to her feet. "Get some new material, kid," she grumbled, "the 'bat' routine is getting old." Turning her attention to Shinji, she muttered, "So what did the doctor say is wrong with her? Rickets? Diphtheria? Psoriasis? …retardation?"

Shinji gave her a halfhearted smile. "Actually," he whispered softly, "he gave me this."

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small, rectangular piece of paper, offering it to Asuka with a clear air of resignation.

Taking the paper, Asuka gave it a cursory glance. "Kitchen Aid?" she asked, handing the paper back, "He wants you to grind her food for her?"

Glancing at the paper with a frown, Shinji clarified, "HEARING… aid."

"…oh."

"The doctor said she has significant hearing loss in both ears," Shinji said tiredly, forcing a smile as Bella tugged on Rei's sleeve, trying to lead her into the living room. "He said she can hear ok, but a lot of higher-register tones just go in one ear and out the other – or, I guess, they go in one ear and just never get to the brain."

"That explains a lot," Asuka snorted. Seeing Shinji's look of disapproval, she cleared her throat. "Er, anyway, you were saying?"

Shinji slowly turned the prescription note over and over in his hands. "The doctor said her speech patterns are more like a two year old than a three year old," he murmured, staring fixedly at the piece of paper. "The hearing aids will help a lot. She might even be able to have eighty percent of her hearing."

Noticing that the girl was glaring at her, Asuka stuck out her tongue. "So why are you so bummed out?" she asked, brandishing her fist as Bella bared her teeth. "You found a problem, you found a solution – things get better for her from here on in. Why are you looking so damn depressed?"

"It's just-" Shinji cut himself off, slumping in his seat and letting the prescription fall to the table. "It's like it's just one thing after the other for her," he said sadly, "first her parents, then her hearing… what's next? Will she-"

"Oh, get some goddamned perspective!"

All eyes turned to the Second Child as she ruthlessly cut into Shinji's sad ruminations.

"Honestly," Asuka said unapologetically, "you make her life sound like it's a tragedy! She's alive, isn't she?"

Shinji nodded slowly. "Yes, but-"

"She's got a roof over her head, doesn't she?"

"Well, yes, but I-"

"She's going to be able to hear better now than she ever has in her life, isn't she?"

"Yes! But I still-"

"God, shut UP!"

Shinji and Bella both jumped as Asuka abruptly pounded her fist on the table, though Rei simply put her arm around Bella's shoulders and took a discreet step backward.

"What are you, bipolar?" the redhead demanded, planting her hands on the table and looming over the unfortunate Third Child. "You totally kick ass when an angel comes through, but when something GOOD happens for your 'daughter' – you mope! Ooo! I just want to hit you right now!"

Shinji sat with his mouth opening and closing, trying to come up with some kind of reply as the Second rose to her full height and folded her arms over her breasts.

The tense silence was broken as the telephone began to ring.

Breaking eye-contact with Asuka, Shinji muttered, "I'll get that."

"No, don't get up;" Asuka said sarcastically, "I wouldn't want to cut into your brooding time." Stalking over to the phone, she yanked the receiver off the hook and held it up to her ear. "Hello? Yeah, he's here, do you want to… oh… uh huh… ok, I'll tell him. Bye." She turned back to Shinji, her features once again smooth and collected. "That was your wife," she said levelly, "she's on her way over with a friend of hers. She said not to leave."

Shinji glanced at the clock on the microwave. "We don't have time," he murmured, "Doctor Akagi said we have to be there no later than two thirty."

Rolling her eyes, Asuka replied, "Yes, I know that – so she'll either have to come back, or hang around until you get home."

Resisting the urge to ask why the redhead had not pointed this out to Hikari, Shinji turned his attention to Rei. "Would you mind telling Hikari why we had to leave?" he asked awkwardly, "She can call me on my cell if it's something REALLY important, but we just can't wait around. Is that ok?"

Rei nodded. "Yes."

They lapsed into silence – or relative silence, anyway, as Bella was making small, inarticulate noises as she played with her new doll. There was no need to discuss why, exactly, Rei was there, even though Asuka was not going into NERV – one look at the dark looks the Second exchanged with Bella would have been enough to see what the issue was with HER babysitting.

Shinji himself was a little unclear about why he was going in, truth be told. The call had come in before they left to take Bella to the doctor, and all Ritsuko had said was 'I need you to come in to Headquarters later. Bring Misato,' and nothing more. _Probably did something wrong,_ he mused dejectedly, rising to his feet to tell Misato he was ready to leave.

He would have entrusted the message to Asuka, but one look at the redhead's dark glower had convinced him that she was probably not the best person to ask for favors just then.

"We won't be gone long," Misato told the First and Second as she and Shinji headed towards the door, "no fighting."

"Don't worry about ME," Asuka said acidly, "I've got better things to do than argue with a dimwitted, stuck up little brat… or Bella."

Misato tried to hide her snort of laughter by coughing into her fist.

As the older woman left with Shinji in tow, Rei heaved a deep, mental sigh, glancing from Bella – who was smiling up at her – to Asuka – who was not. _It is going to be a long afternoon,_ she predicted, finally allowing Bella to lead her into the living room. _Hurry back, Shinji._

The question of when, exactly, she had started thinking of him as Shinji, rather than Ikari, surfaced in her mind as she was helping Bella color… but it was pushed rather quickly onto the mental backburner as Hikari arrived twenty minutes after Shinji's departure, breathlessly rushing into the apartment to introduce her new friend.

Continued…

Author's notes: I don't think the kanji for 'kitchen' is anything like the one for 'hearing,' but golly I like having Asuka misread things in my stories for comic effect.

No pre-reader was used on this chapter.

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities or by e-mailing me direct at random1377(at-sign)yahoo(dot)com.


	15. 4

Disclaimer: see part 1.

1

4

By Random1377

Shinji fiddled with his NERV ID badge, balancing it on the backs of his knuckles for a moment before letting it slide down his fingers and trying to flick it into the air with his fingernails with the intent of catching it deftly between his first and second fingers.

He sighed as the card tumbled to the floor with a dry clack.

"How much longer do we have to sit here?"

Misato gave a soft snort, shaking her head as she scooted a bit higher in her seat. "Got me," she yawned, rubbing her eyes tiredly and glancing around Ritsuko's office, "she said to be here at four, so I don't know where the hell she is."

Leaning down to scoop up his badge, Shinji mumbled, "Did she tell you what this is about? She wouldn't tell me – she just said to be here."

Looking at the clock on the wall, and scowling as she found it nearing four forty-five, Misato replied, "It's something about your piloting, or something. She was really vague about it."

"My piloting?" Shinji said, sitting up a bit straighter as he dropped his ID once more, "What's wrong with my piloting? We beat the last angel, and my sync scores have been going up, so what's-"

"Easy, easy!" Misato cut in holding her hands up defensively. "Would you calm down? I just said I don't know what's going on, don't jump down my throat!"

Shinji wanted to press the issue, but he realized it would be pointless. _No use in bugging her if she doesn't know anything,_ he thought dismally, _I just wish I knew why we were here! We've been doing more sync tests lately – a lot more sync tests… it's getting harder to balance everything, especially since Hikari-_

He cut the thought off, trying his best not to think about the newly-reinstated class rep too hard.

There were just too many emotions tied up in that train of thought.

Instead he thought about Bella. _We'll get her hearing aids tomorrow,_ he mused, _the__ doctor said it would take some time to get her used to hearing and speaking the right way, but it's worth it. Asuka – what am I going to do about Asuka? She's not like, MEAN to Bella, but she's not really all that nice. Things are going pretty well, I guess, when you get right down to it. I mean, Bella IS happy, and we're going to get her hearing fixed – and besides, I'm getting to spend a lot more time with-_

Misato blinked as Shinji suddenly put his hands on the sides of his head and began rubbing – as if trying to rid himself of a particularly vivid thought. "What are you _doing?_" she muttered. "Stop that – people are going to think you're touched."

"Sorry," the boy replied sheepishly, "just… had someone on my mind."

"Who?"

"Hmm?"

"You said you had someone on your-"

"Thing," Shinji jumped in, "some_thing_ on my mind. See? I'm so messed up I'm saying the wrong thing."

Sensing a bad cover-up, Misato prepared to go in for the kill. Fortunately for Shinji, Ritsuko chose that moment to come sweeping through the door, barely looking up from a large folder to keep from hitting any objects between the door and her desk. "I'm running late," she muttered needlessly, "let's make this fast."

"Make what fast, exactly?" Misato wanted to know. "You called us, remember?"

Ritsuko frowned slightly. "Didn't anyone tell you?"

"Umm – no!"

Finally pulling her face out of the folder, Ritsuko rubbed the bridge of her nose, pushing her reading glasses up onto her head with her free hand as she said, "I thought they would have called you by now."

"Who?" Misato demanded. "What is this all about?"

Ritsuko turned to Shinji. "I'd wager there's a message on your answering machine," she said coolly, "I know from personal experience that your 'guardian' is a little lax in checking them." She held up a hand as Misato opened her mouth. "Save it," she said sharply, "I don't have time for your tantrums. The reason you're here is to pick up this paperwork… I guess Legal Services requires that all parties sign it, and since NERV has done its part, the rest is up to you."

"Legal… Services?" Shinji echoed uncertainly. "I don't understand."

Sighing, Ritsuko tapped the folder. "These," she said briskly, "are the terms and conditions of Belladonna Averson's legal adoption by Mister and Misses Takayuki Fujimara. You, as her current provider, will need to sign and date each form, and turn them in to officer Kokobonga-"

"Kokobunji," Shinji corrected, his lips barely moving as he struggled to comprehend what he was being told. "How did this happen…?"

Handing the folder across the desk to the pilot, Ritsuko replied, "I have no idea. All I know is that I was asked to give this to you after signing the form pertaining to your current state of mind and body."

"You gave him a clean bill, I trust," Misato stepped in finally, studying her old college friend suspiciously, "Ritsuko, you-"

"Shinji," Ritsuko cut in, "please take this folder and get the forms filled out ASAP. God willing, Bella will be in a good home by the end of this week. Goodbye."

Jumping slightly at the sudden dismissal, Shinji gathered up the folder and headed for the door, looking rather shell-shocked.

Misato rose to her feet, but lingered until her charge had stepped outside before rounding on the blonde and hissing, "The truth – now!"

"You already know the truth," Ritsuko said coolly, "don't get all melodramatic on me, Misato, everything's exactly as I've said."

"Like hell!" Misato shot back. "You may have caught Shinji off-guard enough to make him forget to ask questions, but not me. Why is NERV involved in an adoption? Why are you signing his reports when I'm his guardian? What's the catch here, Ritsuko – talk to me!"

Ritsuko pursed her lips, stepping around her desk and starting for the door. "I'm in charge of the pilots' health and wellbeing," she said flatly, "not you. As for your other concerns… you're a tactician – use your damn head! If you knew that your most effective soldier was distracted by some personal aspect of his life, what would you do? Come on, this is a no-brainer, Major."

Misato paled. "Remove the distraction," she whispered hoarsely, "but the Commander can't think that Bella is-"

"What the Commander thinks is irrelevant," Ritsuko cut in smoothly, "ours is not to question why, and all that… just be happy to know that arrangements have been made to tend to the child's welfare and leave it at that. Don't go bucking the system on this one, Misato – trust me… everyone will be better off if any distractions are dealt with as soon as possible, wouldn't you agree?"

"She's not a distraction," Misato said dangerously, "she's a sweet little girl – not that you'd know, since you never answer my damn calls anymore."

"Distraction," Ritsuko replied, holding up one hand, "sweet girl," she held up the other hand, "tomato, tomatoe – it doesn't matter what label you attach, Misato, the fact remains that Shinji's mind has _not_ been on angel fighting. High sync scores don't mean a thing if you can't apply them in combat. Should I show you the tape of the last fight again? We barely pulled that victory out by the skin of our teeth – what if we're not so lucky next time?"

"Who are these people?" Misato demanded, deciding on a different attack pattern. "What are they getting for doing this – I know you know! Don't you dare tell me you don't!"

Ritsuko's nostrils flared. "The couple," she said tactfully, "are well-to-do members of one of Tokyo-3's more affluent suburbs. They will raise the child as their own, and she will want for _nothing_… can you promise the same?"

"What are they getting out of it?" Misato pressed, her hands shaking with rage as she realized that both she and Shinji were being railroaded. "If they're well-to-do, it can't be money… what is NERV giving them to take Bella?"

"It's medical related," Ritsuko said bluntly, "that's all you need to know – more than you need to know, actually. Drop it now, Misato… this is a simple matter of ensuring maximum performance for our entire staff – nothing more. No one is being hurt, no one is being deceived, and everyone is getting what they want. Don't mess that up."

Misato had to bite her tongue – literally – to keep from snapping at the blonde. After taking a few deep breaths, she managed to keep a civil tone as she said, "That girl isn't leaving my house until I meet these people."

Ritsuko opened her mouth to counter that this had nothing to do with the dark haired woman, but before she could say a word, Misato turned on her heel and strode towards the door.

"You'll have your paperwork filled out," she said coldly, "just as soon as I've met them."

She was out the door and slamming it closed before Ritsuko could say another word.

-

Rei did not care much for mirrors. She would use them, of course, as one had to make sure that one was presentable before going out into the world, but she did not linger for more than was necessary, and she had never even used a compact, let alone owned one.

Staring at the girl in front of her gave her the same feeling.

"Yeah," the girl said softly, breaking the silence that had fallen since they had been introduced, "now I see the resemblance…"

Hikari, almost forgotten at the girl's side, nodded, but said nothing. She seemed to sense somehow that Rei should be the next one to speak.

"Great, now there's two of them…"

Asuka, of course, felt no such restraint.

"So," the girl said, ignoring the redhead entirely as she looked Rei up and down, "where are you from? My family is from Kobe… maybe we're like, cousins or something."

"Unlikely," Rei said flatly, "I have lived in Tokyo-3 my whole life."

"What about your parents?"

"I do not have any."

"Oh, sorry."

Rei was glad that the girl dropped the issue of parentage.

"Nana!"

Adding to the First's discomfort was Bella's ecstatic attitude. She was always energetic, especially around Rei, but with the arrival of the other girl, she nearly exploded with joy, throwing herself at the stunned girl and screaming with laughter, babbling 'Nana! Nana!' (an abbreviation of the girl's name) over and over until there was no doubt in Rei's mind that they knew one another.

As for herself, Nanako Aoyama kept sneaking looks at Bella, clearly shocked to see her alive, and touching her on the face, shoulders, and hair – as if confirming her solidity, in case she suddenly woke up in bed to find out this was all a dream.

"So you were the brat's babysitter?" Asuka mused, ignoring the look Rei shot her. "And you just _happen_ to look like Wondergirl…? Sounds like a conspiracy to me."

Nanako chuckled. "You're on to something, kid," she snorted, "I'm just here to steal Bella away – and I had extensive plastic surgery to get me to look like your friend here, just so I could get away with it."

"She's not my friend," Asuka said icily, "and I'm not a kid."

Though she had not stated her age, Rei guessed that Nanako was between sixteen and seventeen, which accounted for Hikari not noticing how similar they were at first. _Perhaps it is less like a mirror than a window,_ Rei thought suddenly, _a window that looks forward to a later time._

A later time, she reminded herself, if she did not have blue hair and red eyes – features no one she had ever met seemed to find attractive.

Nanako seemed unconcerned that she was offending Asuka, a trait Rei admired greatly. "Eh, don't sweat the small stuff, kid," she said, ruffling Bella's hair affectionately, "isn't that right, squirt?"

"You auo sqwode," Bella giggled, "nanasqwode."

The little girl seemed to find this contraction exceedingly funny, as she broke into peels of laughter, hugging Nanako's leg tightly and sticking her thumb into her mouth. This combination, unfortunately, ended up projecting quite a large amount of mucus onto the back of her hand.

"Gross!" Asuka groaned, shoving a roll of paper towels into Rei's hand, "get that – I'm not going anywhere near it!"

Rei slowly pulled a paper towel off the roll, crouching at Nanako's feet and waving off her attempt to take the paper towel away. Carefully, she wiped Bella's nose, wondering why she felt so sad.

"Well, I guess we know why she likes you so much, now."

Hikari frowned. "What do you mean, Asuka?"

Shrugging, Asuka said, "It's obvious, isn't it? Since Wondergirl looks so much like Ninnyko, the brat must have-"

"Call her brat again and see what happens," Nanako said, showing Asuka her teeth in a cruel, glittering smile, "I dare you."

"Oh, like I'm scared of you," Asuka yawned, "I pilot a damn EVA."

Nanako's smile faded.

Hikari noticed the expression on the girl's face. "Oh," she said guiltily, "did I forget to mention that…?"

"Yeah," Nanako said coolly, resting her wrists against Bella's shoulders and pulling her closer to her as she reassessed Asuka, "yeah you did."

Asuka's bravado seemed to waver under the older girl's intense stare, and the redhead took a discrete step back, recalling (rather suddenly) several reports of people that felt that the EVA pilots were fighting the will of God Himself. She certainly did not want to be within arm's reach of one of _those_ loonies.

Not that she could not take care of herself, of course, but she was not really in the mood for a fight.

Nanako wet her lips, glancing down at the top of Bella's head as she slowly murmured, "Look, uhh… Bella's parents umm, you know, during an angel attack." She lifted her head once more, looking Asuka directly in the eyes. "My parents were in the same building. They barely made it out alive."

Tensing, Asuka said, "Hey, we-"

"What you guys do is incredible," Nanako said bluntly, "I… I want to thank you… for saving my family."

Rei took an odd satisfaction in seeing the normally unflappable Second Child gaping at Nanako with her mouth wide open. Clearly the redhead had been expecting an attack of some sort, and had no response ready for such a direct outpouring of gratitude. Ultimately, she managed to murmur the only reply a person could give in a situation like that.

"You're welcome…"

There was a moment of awkward silence, broken finally when Nanako said, "I'll help any way I can, but I don't really know what I can do."

Hikari nearly melted with gratitude. "Perfect," she said, sounding immensely relieved, "I was thinking that, well, since your parents are ok, maybe… maybe they'd be willing to adopt… what? What's wrong?"

Nanako was shaking her head. "My parents are umm, kinda old," she said softly, "and they both work fulltime. They wouldn't be able to watch her."

"What about you?"

"Huh?"

"You're old enough," Asuka said levelly, "why don't you adopt her? You used to babysit her, and it's pretty obvious that she likes you – you could be her mother."

Averting her eyes, Nanako mumbled, "That wouldn't work either."

"Why not?" Asuka wanted to know. "You said you'd be willing to help out. Don't tell me you're not old enough, because Shinji's been watching the bra- er, Bella for weeks now, and you're older than he is."

Nanako looked pained. "I'm sixteen," she admitted, "but…"

"But what?" Asuka demanded, planting her hands on her hips. "Is it that you don't _want_ to help, is that-"

"No!" Nanako cut in, clearly horrified, "I love Bella – I'd do anything I could for her… I just-"

"You just _what!_"

Standing where she was, Rei realized she was probably the only person to see the faint tremor run through the older girl's body. _She wants to say yes,_ the First Child thought astutely, _it is hurting her not to be able to._

"I'm sixteen and I'm working fulltime at a bed and bath store, and part time at a candy booth," Nanako said softly, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "My mom was injured in that angel fight, ok? She missed a lot of work, and we've got a lot of bills, so I had to drop out of school to help her and my dad make ends meet." She rolled her shoulders, rising to her full height as she concluded, "I'm not making excuses, and I don't want your pity… but there is honestly no way I can take Bella. I'm sorry…"

The silence that filled the room following this confession was both thicker and more awkward than when Nanako thanked Asuka for saving her family. Everyone exchanged quick, furtive glances, looking away as soon as they noticed that they were being watched. Only Rei kept her eyes fixed on one, single person.

Bella.

"Do not be afraid," she whispered, drawing everyone's attention to the fact that the three year old was looking around at everyone with wide, panicked eyes, her cheeks sucked so tightly around her thumb that she looked almost like a fish.

"Yeah," Hikari said quickly, fully expecting the little girl to pull back as she patted her on the head. "I know… we sound kind of mad right now, but it's not because of you, honey… ok?"

Bella looked uncertainly from Hikari to Rei before craning her neck to look up into Nanako's face. Though she said nothing, her tiny frame seemed to relax slightly, and her cheeks seemed to go a bit slacker, loosening their death grip on her thumb.

"Hey," Nanako said softly, drawing Rei's attention.

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

Rei looked away. "It is… late," she said uncomfortably, "please tell Ikari that I will see him tomorrow."

"Aren't you supposed to stay here until he gets back?" Asuka asked, arching an eyebrow. "Some babysitter."

"I am not needed any longer," Rei replied flatly, bowing politely to Nanako before starting towards the door. "Goodbye."

"Umm, see ya," Nanako said uncertainly, turning her attention to Bella. "Don't be rude, squirt – say bye."

Bella popped her thumb out of her mouth. "BaiBai," she babbled, waving enthusiastically at the First Child. "BaiBai Rei!"

Rei glanced over her shoulder, nodding to the little girl. "Goodnight, Bella. I will see-"

"Wuv you."

Again, those simple, slightly distorted words seemed to hammer Rei's eardrums, taking her off guard and sending her normally contained emotions into a tailspin. Without another word, she hurried out of the apartment, refusing to look back as the little girl's endearment echoed in her mind, causing her so much distress that she had to stop halfway to the train station and lean against a tall office building, staring up into the darkening sky as she tried to get her bearings.

"L-love," she stammered, fighting off growing panic as she found that she could barely say the word.

_How ironic,_ she thought distantly, _it is so foreign to me that I cannot even pronounce it properly. How ironic… how… sad…_

Rei leaned against the building for a long time, struggling to regain control over her raging emotions. She was normally so cool and composed – this loss of balance was definitely outside the norm… and over what? Two words? If she got this way after getting only two thirds of famous Three Little Words everyone talked about, what would happen if the infamous 'I' was added to it?

Would she faint? Scream? Laugh out loud?

Why should it matter so much to her in the first place, anyway? She had lived her entire life without those words, so why should they affect her so?

"Do not think about it," she ordered herself, pushing away from the wall and walking slowly towards the train station, "it is not important… so do not think about it."

Unfortunately for her, Rei found out exactly what the phrase 'easier said than done' meant that night, as thoughts of Bella, Hikari, Shinji, Nanako, and even Asuka swirled and collided in her head, making sleep all but impossible and leaving her staring out her window long after midnight, standing perfectly motionless as she tried to understand the emotions she had suppressed for so long.

Finally, at 3:57 AM, she collapsed into her bed, too exhausted to undress as sleep claimed her almost immediately.

When she awoke in the morning, her head was clear and all the answers she sought seemed to be dancing just out of sight, waiting only for her to go and seek confirmation of what she had suspected for some time. Calmly changing into clean clothes, Rei made her way out into the world, making a small pit stop at a certain store before heading towards her ultimate destination.

To be concluded…

Author's notes: the last chapter is looking to be a bit complicated from a writing standpoint, since I've got a bunch of stuff to tie up. It _should_ be a little longer than the previous chapters, and it will probably take a little while to get done – but hopefully not too long. Thanks for your patience.

And now I can't use multiple dashes to seperate scenes? QuickEdit sucks!

_1_ is not being pre-read.

Feedback is always welcome at random1377(at-sign)yahoo(dot)com.


	16. 5

Disclaimer: see part 1.

1

5

By Random1377

Shinji blinked as his alarm clock went off, blaring away whatever dreams he had been having (something better than real life, he was sure) and forcing him up and out of bed with a disgruntled sigh. Throwing his curtains wide, the Third found it to be a hazy, overcast day, threatening rain almost as palpably as Asuka's narrowed eyes threatened a smack to the side of the head.

Fortunately, these little 'playful' taps had been less and less frequent, especially given the events of the last four days.

"One thing after the other," Shinji whispered, glancing briefly at the small stack of papers on his desk before quickly pulling his eyes away. "Time's wasting…"

The Papers – there was definitely a capitol P in Shinji's mind – seemed to weigh his desk down, causing it to lean in whatever direction Shinji was as if silently calling him over, saying, 'Come on, little man… you'll have to sign me eventually. Angels won't show up every time you have a problem, you know!'

_Ha,_ Shinji thought, shaking his head in wonder as he headed out of his room, _saved by an angel – who can't appreciate the irony in that?_

The amount of post-attack paperwork was much larger than anyone at NERV would have cared to admit, so trivial matters like, oh, say, the adoption of a three year old, had to wait until all official matters were squared away. Unfortunately for Shinji, his reports had taken him less than a day to fill out, so he had been forced to stall for time by saying that Asuka and Misato needed his input for their reports – lies that his housemates were all too willing to back him on.

Neither of them was very pleased with the way Shinji was being railroaded, and they were glad to offer him any excuse to prolong the inevitable as long as possible.

_Inevitable,_ Shinji thought glumly, moving into the kitchen and rummaging around in the cupboards for a pan to boil eggs, _that's what all of this is – inevitable, unstoppable, inescapable… I don't have a choice in the matter. God, I hate that! I thought that if I fought, and stopped angels, and did what I was supposed to do, I'd be-_

"Good morning."

Shinji jumped, sloshing cold water onto the top of his sock as he felt a light tap on his shoulder. "Guh- Asuka!" he stammered, quickly setting the pan down and thanking his lucky stars that it had not been full of boiling water, "You're… up early."

The redhead looked weary, but pleased, as she dropped into one of the kitchen chairs. "Yup," she said noncommittally, tossing a brown paper bag on the table as she carefully dangled her other arm behind her back, keeping its contents out of Shinji's line of sight. "I bought you a sandwich while I was out… even got one for Misato. You don't have to cook this morning."

"Thanks," Shinji murmured, so grateful that he had one less thing to think about that he nearly collapsed into one of the other seats. "Where did you go?" he asked curiously.

"Had something I had to pick up," Asuka said nonchalantly, "Today's the big day, huh? Is the kid still sleeping?"

Shinji nodded. "Yeah," he said absently, "she's on the couch… I didn't feel like moving her, so I slept in my own bed for a change." He bowed his head guiltily. "I guess I should have let her sleep there… I mean, after today…"

"…yeah," Asuka nodded, leaving, 'you'll have your bed back for good' unspoken as Shinji grabbed the bag and dug out one of the sandwiches.

Quietly, she rose to her feet.

"Aren't you going to fight this…?"

Shinji's hand shook as he slowly unwrapped his sandwich, but his voice was even as he replied, "I don't know if I should _wnat_ to fight this… I don't know anything about these people. She might be way better off with them than with me… I just wish I knew for sure why they were doing this."

Pondering this for a minute, Asuka slowly brought her hands out from behind her back. "Here," she said, dropping a thin, cream-colored folder on the table in front of the Third, "why don't you take a look at that… maybe it'll help."

"What's is it?" Shinji asked, glancing at the folder over the top of his sandwich.

Asuka leaned against the wall, lacing her hands behind her head and looking very pleased with herself. "Just the Fujimaras' records," she said lightly, "that's all."

With a start, Shinji dropped his sandwich and looked up at the redhead. "How did you get it?" he gasped, his eyes wide and confused. "Misato couldn't even get this!"

"You just have to know who to bribe," Asuka replied, rubbing absently at the side of her nose. "You really should tap your resources more, Third Child – I got this from-"

Shinji gasped a second time, cutting the girl off as he spotted the small note scrawled on the corner of the folder.

_You owe me big time for this!_

_ -AK_

"But… but you hate him!"

"Boy do I," Asuka snorted, balling one hand into a fist, "even more now that I owe him a favor! That little punk better not even _think_ about asking for anything gross, or I'll knee him in the groin."

Bowing his head, Shinji whispered, "I don't understand… I don't understand at all. Why would you do this for me?"

Asuka sighed. "You act like I hate you," she said quietly. "It's no big deal, Shinji – I just figured that this way, I'd get the brat out of her quicker." Clearing her throat as Shinji looked up, Asuka concluded, "That and, you know, I still kind of owed you for pulling me out of that volcano…"

After a moment of quiet, Shinji's face broke into a grateful smile. "Thank you," he said honestly, "really – this means a lot to me… thanks." Reaching out, he ran his fingertips across the front of the folder. "Did you read it?" he murmured, suddenly very afraid of what he might find in the mysterious couple's past.

_Are you scared that you might find something bad?_ he asked himself as Asuka shook her head, _or that there might be nothing worse in there than a parking ticket? Why don't you just admit that you don't want to give her up, hmm? Bella's a symbol now, isn't she…? Some kind of weird, mental representation of all the times I've run away – so by giving her up, I'm running again._

Shinji closed his eyes disturbed by this rambling, incoherent line of thought.

Setting his face into a determined mask, he pulled the folder closer to him, whipped the cover back, and began reading.

Asuka watched curiously as the Third scanned the file, but making no move to read over his shoulder. She did not care, after all – or so she had repeatedly stated… so showing interest now would not only undermine her character, it would also show weakness.

_Must be good stuff,_ she thought after a moment, _he looks pretty damn intense…_

"What is it?" she asked, feeling foolish as she found her voice coming out in a breathless whisper.

Shinji lifted his head, closing the folder and pushing it a few inches away from him – as if distancing himself from what it held. "Would you hand me the phone?" he asked, his voice carefully neutral, "I need to make a couple calls."

Frowning, Asuka did as she was asked; standing across from Shinji as he made his calls… and letting out a soft whistle as listening in finally gave her a fuller appreciation of all of the intricacies of the situation.

( 0 0 0 )

"So," Misses Fujimara said nervously, "have you finished signing the papers?"

She was a short woman, Rei observed, with a severe, boyish haircut and flat, muddy brown eyes. She seemed perpetually nervous to the First, always glancing around as if she expected to have someone jump out and scare her. Her husband, a stocky foreigner with blond hair, seemed just as edgy, though Rei guessed (quite correctly) that it was more the situation than his nature.

Neither, the pilot decided, was pleased by this impromptu face-to-face meeting – especially not when one took into the account that they were the only adults present.

"Please," Shinji said, drawing Rei's attention back to him, "may I ask a couple more questions?"

Misses Fujimara forced herself to calm down, nodding slowly as her husband squeezed her hand. "Of course," she said politely, "though it was my understanding that everything was already arranged…"

Shinji nodded. "It was," he admitted softly, "but I… well, I'm sure you can understand that I have grown a little… attached to Bella, as has my wife," at this he smiled at Rei, "so we just… we only want what's right for her."

_What is this game, Shinji?_ Rei wondered, nodding her agreement as the Fujimaras let out simultaneous, resigned sighs.

When Shinji had called, Rei had not been doing anything terribly pressing, so she had no problems with coming over and pretending to be Hikari for a while… but Shinji had not fully explained the situation, saying only, 'I don't have time right now, Rei, please just trust me, and I'll spell it all out when it's over, ok?'

It occurred to the First, rather suddenly, that for the moment… she was Shinji's wife.

Hikari, of course, had signed the papers as soon as she could – not out of any desire to be rid of Bella, but because she understood that the sooner this was over, the sooner Bella (and everyone else) would be able to move on.

She would not be told of this afternoon meeting. Shinji felt that it would be best that way.

"Well," Mister Fujimara said patiently, "of course we want you to be comfortable… please, go ahead."

"Thank you."

Rei let her mind wander as Shinji asked the Fujimaras a short list of questions, mostly revolving around where Bella would go to school (when she was old enough) and what her surroundings would be like. The First watched him closely, trying to put a name to the feeling he brought out in her.

Certainly it was too soon to dub it love, but there was an undeniable affinity for the young man that led the First to spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about him.

She had been on the train to come over and talk to him when they had gotten the call to go investigate the volcano that housed the angel embryo, so she had never gotten the chance to drop off the item she had purchased at the store that day, though she did give Bella her gift – a stuffed dog with floppy ears… a present Rei had waited to give to the girl until no one was around.

After all – presenting gifts was one thing… presenting them with an audience was another.

"Pubby," Bella smiled happily, drawing Rei's attention from her musings.

"I see," she said quietly, nodding at the crayon rendering of the stuffed animal being held by a girl that Rei recognized to be Bella – mostly due to the hair and eye color, not out of any real resemblance to the artist… or a human, for that matter.

Bella was not the most talented with crayons.

"Well," Shinji was saying, his voice sounding very much as if he was drawing to a conclusion, "I guess… there's just one more thing I wanted to know – two more, actually…"

Rei's brow creased in a faint frown as Shinji beckoned Misses Fujimara closer, pressing a small piece of paper into her hand and whispering something too low for Rei to hear. The woman read the note, showing it to her husband and exchanging a look with him that (to Rei, anyway) said, 'Is this kid putting us on?'

Misses Fujimara cleared her throat, pocketing the note as she murmured, "I… don't think that would be a problem, Mister Ikari."

"Both parts?" Shinji asked, his tone painfully hopeful as he fidgeted with the folder in his hands. "Both parts are ok?"

The Fujimara's exchanged another look. "Sure, Shinji," Mister Fujimara said evenly, "if that's what it takes to make you comfortable, we have no problem with either stipulation."

Shinji's shoulders slumped with relief.

"Thank you…"

Inclining his head politely, Shinji offered the stack of papers to the couple, turning it around to face them and pointing to the bottom to show his signature.

"Please take good care of her," he said formally, pushing the papers across the table and bowing very deeply.

"We will," Misses Fujimara said gently, taking the paperwork from Shinji's hands as carefully as if she was being offered a newborn. "Thank you, Mister Ikari – you have no idea what this means to us."

Shinij kept his eyes low as he whispered, "Yes I do."

The Fujimaras looked startled… then embarrassed, though Rei could not understand why. After a moment of awkward silence, Mister Fujimara cleared his throat. "Well then," he said, rising to his feet and offering Shinji his hand, "we are doubly in your debt."

Shaking the man's hand, Shinji replied, "It's for the best, Mister Fujimara… thank you for honoring my wishes." Turning from the man, Shinji raised his voice and called, "Nanako…?"

More confused than ever, Rei watched the girl appear in Shinji's doorway, her face a mask of nervousness and uncertainty. "Did… did they say yes?" she blurted, blushing brightly as she realized that all eyes were on her.

"Yes, Miss… Aoyama, was it?" Misses Fujimara said carefully, "We'd-"

"Nana!"

The Fujimaras both jumped slightly as Bella leapt off of Rei's lap and threw herself at Nanako. The girl broke into a happy grin, holding her arms out and bending her knees a bit so that the impact of the three year old would not knock her off of her feet.

_So that is how you do it,_ Rei mused, trying to pretend that she did not feel jealous of Nanako for so easily usurping Bella's attention. _It does not matter,_ she told herself calmly, _now I will be able to refocus on my duties with EVA._

Brushing her skirt off, she started to rise, but Shinji gently put a hand on her shoulder. "Stay a minute," he whispered, keeping his voice pitched for her ears only. "Please?"

Rei nodded, sinking back onto the chair and averting her eyes as Bella began regaling Nanako with details of her morning and afternoon. Belatedly, the First Child noticed that Bella was still clutching the stuffed dog… and the inexplicable tightness in her chest grew ever so slightly less bearable.

"We should be going," Mister Fujimara said, tapping the papers against his palm and giving his wife a significant look. "Bella, come here please."

Shinji shook his head, and Rei was sure he whispered, 'It's not that easy,' before he cleared his throat and said, "Bella, can you come over here for a second?"

Bella, who had been in the middle of describing her maciwoni wunch, looked at Shinji with a clearly visible expression of irritation. "Whad Shinchi?"

Crouching down to the girl's level, Shinji said, "I'd like you to go with Mister and Misses Fujimara, alright? They're going to show your their house, and umm… you're gonna stay with them for a while."

Rei watched as the girl took this information in, her small face pinching a bit as she wondered, "Shinchi coming?"

"No, Bella," Shinji replied, slowly shaking his head, "but… but I'll come visit sometimes, ok? You'll like it there – they have two whole rooms full of toys just for a girl your age."

At this, Misses Fujimara turned away, her bottom lip trembling as her husband patted her on the arm – and with sudden epiphany, Rei understood a little more of their situation. She kept her attention on Bella, though, as the little girl's expression grew slightly alarmed.

As Rei was about to step in to comfort her, though, Nanako leaned down and whispered something in Bella's ear… and the little girl nearly exploded with joy, turning to face Nanako and throwing her arms around her waist.

"Take care of her," Rei heard Shinji whisper as the Fujimaras made their goodbyes and started for the door.

"You know I will, Mister Ikari," Nanako said gently, "thank you for doing this."

Shinji blushed as the girl leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "It's Shinji," he said awkwardly, "just Shinji."

Smiling, Nanako scooped Bella into her arms. "Shinji, then," she corrected herself, offering him an unsteady, Bella-complicated bow. "I'll make sure you don't miss a thing."

"Thanks…"

Sensing that the boy was on the verge of tears, Nanako wasted no more time with goodbyes, moving to follow the Fujimaras towards the front door and sniffling a bit as she refused to look back.

"Rei!"

Rei barely glanced up in time to see Bella jump out of Nanako's arms and sprint across the room, throwing her arms around Rei's neck and giving her a very wet kiss on the lips.

"Mmmmahh!" the girl declared, pulling her head back dramatically. "Wuv you, Rei!"

Though she tried to reply, Rei found that her throat was just a bit too dry to say anything.

"Come on squirt," Nanako said, her voice cracking slightly as she looked away from Rei's confused face, "let's get going."

"You auo sqwode!" Bella declared, laughing happily as she bounced out of Rei's arms.

It was not until the door to the apartment had closed and Bella's laughter had faded from the air that it really hit Rei that there was almost no chance that the little girl would ever be in her arms again. Silently, she rose to her feet and followed Shinji into the living room, sitting on the couch and staring up at the ceiling as Shinji settled in next to her. Neither spoke for some time, as both were contemplating the events that had led them to this point.

Finally, in an uncharacteristic display of openness, Rei broke the silence by whispering, "The Fujimaras lost a child… correct?"

Shinji nodded. "Yeah," he confirmed, "but it was in a car crash… before the angels started attacking."

Looking down at her hands, resting limply in her lap, Rei murmured, "Will you tell me the rest?"

With a long, deep sigh, Shinji told Rei everything.

"The Fujimaras have been trying to have another baby for over six years, but she has… well, I don't know how you pronounce it, but it's a medical syndrome where your… umm… o-ovaries stop releasing eggs." Rei could tell that Shinji was uncomfortable with the topic, so she said nothing, allowing him to go at his own pace as he continued. "They've been searching for a cure for a long time, or if they fail that, to find a donor willing to give them a fertile egg. They're not rich, so they can't afford to keep trying implantation… though they did get the money to try it twice."

"Both failed?" Rei ventured knowingly.

"Yeah," Shinji whispered, "and then they found a doctor that works at NERV – a very skilled specialist in the field of reproductive science." Shrugging, he said, "You can probably fill in the blanks from there. They couldn't afford the treatments he theorized may help them, so they had pretty much given up… until a NERV official contacted them and arranged funding for them…"

"…on the condition that they take custody of Bella," Rei finished quietly.

As this was not a question, Shinji simply continued staring straight ahead.

Rei considered this information for a moment. "What did you ask of the Fujimaras?" she wondering finally.

"I thought that was obvious," Shinji said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I asked if they would mind if I visited Bella sometimes, and – since they were planning to hire a nanny anyway – if they would consider hiring Nanako…"

Nodding, Rei realized she should have known. _Shinji would not let Bella be alone with people she does not know if there was anything he could do about it,_ she thought approvingly. _What an interesting solution._

Silence fell once more as the two pilots stared off into space. Neither felt much like breaking it, so they simply sat there, their thoughts in perfect, unconscious synchronization as they pondered Bella's future. They both knew that the Fujimaras did not care very deeply for the girl, but they seemed like nice enough people, and perhaps, given time, they might actually grow to love her… until their own child was born, at any rate.

_But then there is Nanako,_ Rei mused. _She will care for Bella as if she were the child's own mother… something I could never be capable of. Perhaps, someday, she will be allowed to take Bella into custody herself. I cannot guess how deeply her affections and loyalties lie, but she does seem to care for her…_

"This was the best solution…"

"Yes," Rei replied simply, "it was."

Shinji closed his eyes. "Thank you for being here through all of this, Ayanami," he said softly, "you helped me so much… I don't even know how to thank you enough."

"It was not a problem."

"Really," Shinji said insistently, turning to face Rei on the couch, "I couldn't have done it without you." He chuckled weakly. "I'm… kinda gonna miss seeing you over here all the time."

"I-"

"Maybe you could come over anyway."

Rei blinked. "Pardon?"

Shinji leaned forward on the couch, staring down at his feet as he laced his hands together in his lap. "I was just… thinking," he said carefully, "that it's been umm, really nice to have you over here…" Slowly, he raised his eyes, blushing terribly as he lamely concluded, "So I just thought I'd like to have you come over again."

"Without Bella?" Rei clarified.

"Y-yeah…"

"I see…"

Rising to her feet, Rei slipped a hand into her pocket, pulling out a small, crumpled bag.

"What's this?" Shinji asked as she offered it to him.

"It is… something for you," Rei said carefully. "I bought it the day of the angel attack, but I was not sure I should give it to you or not."

Curiously, forgetting for a moment that he was in the middle of stumblingly trying to ask Rei to come over, Shinji opened the bag and pulled out a small, dangled pendant, suspended on a plain, silver chain. "Er… it's a yang," he said, "right?"

"Yes," Rei replied calmly, "I have always liked the way it looked when I saw it in the store."

Biting his tongue before he could ask 'what does it mean, exactly,' Shinji brought the pendant up to eye-level and studied it carefully. "So do you have the yin?" he said, realizing with slowly dawning wonder that Rei (who never had more than a handful of words for anyone) had just given him a present.

Rei shook her head. "No," she said calmly, "I do not like jewelry."

"Oh…"

"Will you put it on?"

"Sure."

As the chain was rather long, Shinji did not have to unclasp it to get it over his head. Holding the pendant in his palm, he noticed that it was rather cheaply made – flimsy tin with a dull enamel yang dangling from a chain that was so thin Bella could have broken it without even trying… but in looking at it, Shinji could understand why it had drawn Rei's attention.

_It looks like a tear,_ he thought sadly, _a single black tear…_

"Thank you, Rei… it's beautiful."

"I am glad that you like it."

"So," Shinji murmured, tapping the pendant his thumbnail, "Why did you want me to have it…?"

Rei averted her eyes. "I am… not entirely sure," she admitted calmly.

"Oh…"

Rising to his feet, Shinji stuffed his hands in his pockets, finding himself unable to meet Rei's eyes.

"Well," he whispered, "thanks."

The atmosphere in the apartment was decidedly unsure, but at the same time, a certain feeling of comfort seemed to flow between the two pilots. Perhaps it was false – born of forced closeness and tough choices… but both seemed to understand this, and take it in stride, accepting it as part of the current situation and allowing it to temper their emotions, keeping them from leaping into anything that could hurt them.

"I should go."

Shinji nodded gravely. "Of course," he said quietly. "I'll umm… I'll see you soon, though…"

"Mm."

Not knowing what else to say, Rei gave Shinji a small bow.

Silently, he led her to the front door, leaning against the frame as she stepped into the hallway and turned to regard him. He tensed, wetting his lips unconsciously as Rei edged a bit closer, but her eyes were not on his face.

"I like the way it looks."

Shinji glanced down as Rei reached out and ran her forefinger across the pendant's surface. "It's really pretty," he agreed weakly.

_I can't believe I thought she was going to kiss me,_ he thought, desperately wanting to slap himself in the head. _IDIOT!_

"You… said you would like me to come over some time…?" Rei murmured as she stepped away.

"Er, right," Shinji said softly, remembering suddenly that he _had_ been inviting her over when she gave him the pendant. "Maybe… maybe on Friday, after school?"

"Alright."

It was clear that both wanted to say more… but neither quite knew what. Trapped by their lack of experience, the two pilots simply bade each other goodnight, wishing something more concrete had come of their conversation. So far, all they knew was that they wanted more than they currently had, and that – possibly – the other held the key to making it happen.

Shaking his head, Shinji pushed away from the door, deciding that it was definitely time for a little nap, but as he turned, he found himself face to face with, "Asuka! I didn't even know you were home!"

"You didn't bother to check," the redhead pointed out, hiding a yawn behind her hand, "I had a headache, so I was lying down in my room." She glanced around. "Wondergirl went home?"

"Yeah, she just left," Shinji nodded, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. "Did you want to talk to her about something?"

Asuka gave him a bland stare. "Now I know you didn't _really_ mean to ask me that," she said dryly.

Shinji laughed. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, "I wasn't thinking."

"Nice pendant."

"Thanks."

"Did she give it to you?"

"Umm yeah," Shinji mumbled, scratching the back of his neck as he quickly added, "but it doesn't like, mean anything… I don't think."

"You don't sound too sure," Asuka observed critically.

Suddenly, Shinji was very tired. "I'm not too sure about anything anymore," he said quietly.

Asuka nodded as if this information was of absolutely no surprise to her. "Did you get things taken care of with the kid?"

Leaning back against the door, Shinji briefly outlined the resolution to Bella's situation, making the story as short as possible as Asuka had been there when he had made the plans in the first place.

When he had finished, Asuka said, "So it all worked out, then. You made sure Bella was taken care of at the last minute, and you even got Nanako a better job in the process. Nicely done, Shinji."

"It was all circumstances," Shinji said, clearly awkward at the praise, "if she wasn't willing to be Bella's nanny, or if the Fujimaras weren't willing to hire someone they didn't know, none of it would have worked out. I was lucky."

Asuka tilted her head to the side. "You took a chance," she said simply, "you ran a risk, you gambled – and you won. Call it whatever you like, but I think it was brave."

"Th-thanks…"

Shinji toyed with the pendant, clearly at a loss for what to else to say.

Waiting for only a moment – to see if he actually would say anything else – Asuka murmured, "When's the divorce final?"

"Week, week and a half," Shinji replied, grateful to be changing topics, "maybe not even that. Since we're so young, and neither of us is contesting, Officer Kokobunji thinks they should just stamp an approval on it and send it back. We probably won't even have to go to court at all."

"Then you'll be single again."

"Umm, yeah."

"Huh."

Shinji frowned as Asuka leaned against the wall, studying him closely in the bright light from the overhead fluorescents.

"What is it?" he squeaked, clearing his throat and shifting on his feet as the redhead pursed her lips.

Asuka chose her words carefully. "I was just thinking that maybe we should go to a movie – you know, to help take our minds off of all this stuff."

Nodding, Shinji said, "Oh, like with a bunch of people from school…?"

"No, Shinji," Asuka said levelly, "not with a bunch of people from school."

Shinji looked confused. "Well, wouldn't that be a… a…"

"Date?" Asuka supplied calmly, "Of course not – you're a married man." She reached out, tapping the pendant as she murmured, "I would never _think_ of going on a date with a married man, so this would just be a couple coworkers hanging out and taking in a show." Looking from the pendant to Shinji's eyes, she whispered, "I'll even treat."

Shinji averted his eyes, entirely intimidated by the redhead's strong, unwavering attitude. "Why are you doing this?" he wondered, feeling rather helpless as Asuka stared boldly into his face.

Leaning a bit closer, the redhead whispered, "I told you, it's just a couple coworkers hanging out… no big deal, right? I'll go change."

Before Shinji could reply, Asuka turned away and headed into her room, leaving him feeling that he had just been caught up in a small-scale hurricane.

"Now what…?" he asked himself weakly, clutching the pendant tightly in his hand.

Somehow, though he had managed to ensure Bella's happiness as best he could… Shinji's own life had just grown considerably more complicated.

The End

Author's Notes: I have 13 pages of additional material outlining other attempted endings, none of which really made me happy. I know this one may seem a bit open-ended… ok, REALLY open-ended, but I just felt having everything tied up in a nice tidy bow would have been plastic and forced. At least Bella got to be (relatively) happy, right? And hey, at least I didn't kill off any main characters… that has to count for something.

_1_, like _2,_ and _3_, was not pre-read.

Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by contacting me directly at random1377(at-sign)yahoo(dot)com.


End file.
